HFA child and school

[onceortwice]

My little boy is 4.

He has been rejected (horrid word, but true) from all prep schools.

I have enrolled him into the local state school. A week in and he's hating it.

Specialist schools aren't applicable, because DS has a massive (around 200) IQ.

What would you do?

1. Steiner school?
2. HE?
3. Stick with state?

Honest opinions much appreciated.

Have posted in Education too, but this site gets more posters, I think. x

Hi
Sorry your ds is struggling, I know how painful it is to witness.
My dd has AS. She also really hated school and, to be perfectly honest, my biggest regret was leaving her there when she was so desperately unhappy.

She is 11 now and we HE.
It might be an idea to post on the HE board, too-there are some really knowledgeable posters on there who can give you the information you need to make an informed decision.

You know your son best, so will be best placed to know the best environment for him and how his needs are best met.
Good luck with whichever decision you make.

MINDROOM have many links and info and contacts
Maybe that would help you find out more about specialist provision for HFA and IQ 200 scorings

Also a web site called TES.co.uk for educational resources, etc for teachers, therapists and HE resources for teaching and learning for many different areas of needs, etc

lots to research between these 2 which may be of help to you

Good luck to you and hope these are some help

I would defintely not leave him if he is really genuinely hating it.

Is HE a real option, if it is why not go for it while you are looking around for something more suitable.

You might find that it really suits you, there is a good HE board on here and other websites to support you.

I did manage to find a really good inclusive school for Dd3 and there are some out there, you just need to take your time.

Good luck

Unfortunately I was not altogether surprised to see that he has been rejected from the prep schools.

If you do stick with state I would apply for a statement of special needs for your son asap from the LEA in question asap. Statements are also for those with social/communication needs as well.

How would you feel about HE?. Education Otherwise has a section on their website about HE and SEN.

attila I am expecting a statement on 10th October.

You're right that a good number of Special schools would not be appropriate but it really depends on what his needs are. Many Independents coukd be appropriate. Have a look at Abingdon for example.

First, a week is not a lot of time for a child with ASD to settle. It is really hard to see them unhappy, but you could get this reaction to any school. My ASD, DC took months to settle at both primary and secondary, and my NT DC took more than a week.

Have you been into the school to talk about why your DC is unhappy? Can you work with them to make things better? If they are amenable, I would try this first rather than unsettle your DS with another change that might not be needed.

If it is clear that it is not just a settling in issue But do look round at other schools and see if anything might suit better.

I would never consider independent schools, even if you find one that would
accept him, there is always a danger that they will kick him out later on if the going gets tougher.

I would also not HE my ASD DC. They really need to learn social skills and being in school is really important for this as well as providing a break for me

Abingdon is a special school

Hi onceortwice ,my son is also 4 and has a diagnosis of asd PDA , he is also at a small fairly relaxed prep school. Also very bright , he does mornings only at the moment, could not cope with longer. The school have been great, however , it is early days and although I manage to get him to go ,just, for the last 2 weeks I fear it may not last. I agree prep schools are not great and possibly will not cope if things get tougher with him. I do though feel having 12 in a class, lots of attention and less noise generally help him cope.
HE is something I hope I will not need to do as I agree, they need the example in social skills. It's tough, I am not sure how things will go for us, but I do feel a special school will be better for my son (even though he's v. Bright) than state as he would not cope with the evironment an thus , being bright would be of no use to him whatsoever.
I'm not much help I'm afraid, but you're not the alone with this dilemma.

If you can afford prep school could you look into ABA? DS goes to mainstream school part-time (5 half days although was 3 half days at age 4) and does ABA out of school the rest of the time. School works because he has ABA trained and supervised support rather than TAs without training. If you can find a school which will accept ABA then it can work in mainstream. DS needs the social and play opportunities and it is great to have a pool of children available rather than having to trail around trying to find suitable children if you were HE. For eg he does small group work / social groups every day, is supported at playtime, children come home after school to play etc.

I feel like he has the best of both worlds - specialist support but in a mainstream setting. I don't feel he misses out at all not going to school FT, in fact FT school would impact on the time we want to spend teaching and doing stuff not on the national curriculum.

Agnes - If I could find any smaller school that would take him, I would leap at it. Especially ABA. I just can't seem to find anything locally. I am SE England. If there is anything I've missed, I would love if you could PM me with details. thanks.

I think agnes means running your own ABA programme which would include having the tutors going to school with ds as his shadow (sort of TA), rather than sending him to an ABA school.

Just outside London, but very close. (NW... watford sort of area)

There must be some non selective Preps, I just haven't found them!!

Have you looked at Abingdon?

Herts?

Yes, Herts.

Egerton Rothesay?

Tbh, I would as a first choice want Mainstream with ABA 1:1. But even if you get a tribunal ordering this you need copious amounts of energy to make sure it runs and works in the majority of schools.

But you could be lucky. Some schools are open enough.

Is Abingdon a realistic option? It looks good.

Well Herts defeated me.

Didn't kill me though

Avoided Stiener. The philosophy behind them is potentially harmful for children with SEN

Thanks Starlight - that is useful to know.

Egerton won't touch my DS. They currently have two streams: SAL problems and autism (but with average / reduced IQ)

They have looked at DS's reports (current IQ around 200) and are not interested.

Hmm Egerton didn't accept Ds either, but I thought it was more due to not yet having a class that young.

Riverstone is possibly the 'type' of school. You coukd also look at Blossom House