DD hurting other children in mainstream

[used2bthin]

This has been an ongoing problem, DD1 (nearly 6, genetic disorder and severe SLI and sensory processing issues) has now gone since the start of term from hitting, to pinching to jabbing children with pencils. Apparently she is fine one to one but does this in group times. It used to be just unstructured times.

She is so far behind the other children and the teacher is very good and says she knows its due to commnuication issues but obviously its very worrying.

I am confident the school are supporting her well, they are recording it all and psuhing for full support including lunch times but this is new and is worrying me. Her behaviour at home is also out of control, tomorrow I have booked a GP phone call so I can ask for CAHMS referral but DD needs help now, any advice or experience/

Had long chat with the teacher about dd's future in mainstream, is it possible to stay in when she is hurting children so much?

I have a son with globel development delay he is quiet challenging at time could any one tell me if any one has applyed for this £300 one of payment let me no thanks

Well, re time out - we do ignore totally throughout . The tactics she is using to get your attention ('open door' etc) are very smart of her! But don't respond! The more you engage with her, the more she learns that she is still getting attention.

The key to this approach is basically that if a child is behaving 'badly' to get attention, don't give it to them or they'll keep on doing it. They should get the attention when they behave 'well'. In your dd's case I'd say when she is playing nicely with you, a peer, relative, or anyone, give her loads and loads and loads of praise and fuss. If she starts playing up ignore her and continue what you're doing. If it's actual aggression then time-out.

Same applies for when you're out and about. It obv can be harder as your natural instinct is to minimise disruptive behaviour but I have sort of reached the point where I don't care about other people's reactions

Though as I said, we do ABA so it's part of a bigger programme - this might seem a bit drastic to you for general use. But basic principle (same as supernanny) is reinforce good behaviour with rewards, and ignore 'inappropriate' behaviour. Zero tolerance for aggression (but still no attention, even negative attention).

HTH a bit - and good luck, hope things improve.

Thank you and we need drastic! I can do the at home stuff-I do struggle out and about as I can't physically move her anymore so when she lies on the floor or runs off its really really hard to know what to do. All ideas gratefully recieved!

And I would love to learn more about ABA, I know a charity who helps funding for it but only with ASD diagnosis and while I think DD does have ASD I also think it'll take a while for diagnosis.

Git CAHMS referral sent off today, hope they take us!

Sorry shirley I havent heard of the £300 thing, where did you hear about it? There is the family fund who will often help towards specific items or a holiday but thats the main one I know of.

Is she having SALT?

It does to me sound rather like her behavioural problems are stemming from her communication difficulties, and in your position I would be fighting for adequate, meaningful support in this area.

Sorry if you've already explained this, but does she have a statement?

Yes she does but we are waiting for their reponse re upping her one to one from 15 hours to 30.

We have started a bit of private speech therapy because despite being on the intensive outreach programme, its mainly done by the TA who is in need of a bit of guidance now and has so far had none for this term(senco is onto this though)

I am thinking we need a book she points to things from as her speech is unclear-she joined in at grop time last week but they didnt know what she sai

I have kept her off today, she is full of cold and due to her condition copes badly with illness. She sobbed about not going in!!

Oh bless her, used2be. I'm going to say it. She is being failed. From what you say, she needs special school, and she needs one like DD1's.

At DD1's special school, the SALT does a session once per fortnight, and then the teaching staff use the techniques during the whole school day, so the SALT programme is blended in with the normal day. Also, the SALTs are on site, so if teachers have concerns, they can pop in and assess an individual child, etc.

I know, the options in our area ae really limited. I am going to go to every ss I can find I think (its even hard to find info on them!!)

S an l is done in a similar way in reception but they didnt turn up last week to talk to her new class TA and teacher.

The only confusing thing is she was dreadfully behaved over the holidays too and lashes out at me and the new baby and her dad when he has her. So it is more than just school but definately it is not working in year one in terms of joining in and I suspect she won't be able to have friends there (certainly not if she keeps hurting the other children!!)

Whether keep in ms or look for ss, I agree with lougle she needs more support right now. And you need some strategies to help her (and help with her) at other times.

Does her statement specify SALT? If so you must insist she gets it. If not, you need to ask for annual review to change statement to include it. I'd also be pushing for behavioural support too, from eg autism outreach.

How long has the school been chasing the LEA? It sounds like you're being fobbed off - school blaming LEA but are they really chasing? Fgs they applied in April and it is now September!!!

The thing is until the school itself puts in the support she needs, this will get worse. They can't wait till she really does hurt someone (or herself). And the fact is that all schools will have funds in their budget for extra support regardless of a statement, so they could provide more without having to wait for LEA to change statement.

I understand why you have kept her off today, but keeping her off is not a solution, and it totally lets the school off the hook of providing the support she needs.

I would request an urgent meeting with all concerned to discuss situation and ask the school how they are going to manage this. It is wholly unfair on your dd, and also on the other children. It is the school's job to deal with this, to ensure dd is getting an education, and to ensure the safety of the other children. Don't let them fob you off.

School are covering the 30 hours or said they were. But behaviour wise they do need to do the OT stuff and they aren't as they have not had training in this year group. How does this work?OT came out last year to train TA but that TA has now left so the current ones haven't had the training? Anyone know?

Re SALT yes its in the statement that her programme needs to be planned by SALT with progress monitored by SALT and SALT assistant has also been coming weekly to work with her but this isnt in statement. Then the SALT worked is meant to be part of every day. I need to get in quantified I know but they said no when I requested it. But that is a good point because so far the statement isnt being followed as the SALT didnt turn up last week so this new TA can't following any programme. Who totake this up with? SALT service, school or statemtning officer?

Rang statementing officer today to see what is going on, they had gone home (fri afternoon I can never get hold of anyone, always the same with hospital!)but the administrator said they have a huge backlog of annual reviews and are working saturdays to catch up. Which doesn't help DD! What would you do in my shoes?

Oh also rang ss and am going to look round again next week.

Re day off she can't go in if on "sick" dose of meds so had to keep her off, have been resisting as really didnt want her to think she can not go. But then she got upset at not going which surprised me!

Oh Autism outreach-I agree, but she has no ASD diagnosis as yet(asking for assessment, long story but going to ask CAHMS.

sorry have just seen you ahve said you would request an urgent meeting. Ok that is my next step-will ask to speak to the Senco mon to sort out.

Sorry I didn't realise she was off today because she was sick. But hope you know what I meant about that.

If provision that is included in her statement (ie SALT) is not being implemented it is, technically, the responsibility of the LA. But it's probably more diplomatic practice to bring it up with the school first - if they keep fobbing you off and nothing is done, I would definitely contact LA about it (have done similar myself).

The thing is here that to address this particular problem (aggression) she needs a behaviour management plan which takes into account all areas (communication, any sensory issues, etc). Ask for a Team Around Child meeting so all relevant parties can attend. SALT service won't be the answer to the problem alone.

FWIW (and this is obviously completely my vh personal opinion) I don't think that this difficulty means she can't stay in mainstream school. If you want her to stay, and you can see how she can get adequate support to enable her to do so, don't let the school try and 'palm her off' just because it seems a bit difficult for them. Obv if you think ss is the answer, fine, but in answer to your original question, yes it is possible for her to stay in ms school with the right support.

The school were annoyed at SALT not turning up so I feel like they are not getting enough support with her iyswim? She did a holiday clun at the ss over summer and they were surprised there was no behaviour plan but then her behaviour wasn't too bad then, we tend to have a period of aggressive behaviour after her meds are changed or if things change.

The sensory stuff was fairly new and so it was being added to the statement at the annual review. I think at some point ss may be needed but think we need to try year one a bit with proper support and the ss outreach service for a while. Will definately ask for a meeting on monday.

Thanks for going over this with me it really does help.