Working with SN child how do you manage?

[chuckeyegg]

I have been on a career break from Civil service and now have asked about going back term time only and they have refused. Reasons given to many term time workers already. I will not be able to work full time. They don't have a job for me and want me to resign quietly and go away.

As I'm sure many of you appreciate DS needs me throughout the holidays and childcare would be to costly and wouldn't work anyway.

If you work how do you manage?

DS has ASD and is 5.

do you mean manage hours or financially?

I work - and my DH stays at home

sorry, not very helpful

On a more helpful note, when DH used to work we had an after school nanny, who worked full time during the holidays

She had her own baby and was therefore happy for a part time job she could bring her child to.

At the moment I mean hours. I really need to go back to work financially.

i don't

DD has ASD and is 5 yrs old

until we are 100% settled with school etc there's no way i could commit to a job outside the home

financially we are stuffed. we live on every penny DH earns.

I am a civil servant too - I was lucky and my request for part-time & term-time only was agreed to; but back then there weren't so many of us! I do manage and leave I accrue is used for appointments! Some of the people in my office just don't work on the main school holidays and use annual leave for half terms - but management won't guarantee that we would get leave then, so I am not contracted for any school holidays.

When it got to that bit on the "form" about how reducing your hours would impact on your colleagues, I filled it in saying that as I had been absent for 6 years (Mat leave and full career break) any hours I worked would be an addition to the team!!

If you are in the union it might be worth talking to your rep?

I work weekends to get time off in lieu, put my kids in holiday play schemes, use up annual leave, do swaps with other parents (where possible) and enlist family help (again, where possible). It's always a juggling act, every holiday. Can you take unpaid leave for a few weeks in summer to ease the pressure, or is that just too hard financially?

Like IndigoBell, I work and my DH does not (he has given up his career, he does spend some of his time building a boat on the Thames, but has accepted that both of us being in work will not work).

I don't because DD has multiple needs and we seem to have at least one appointment every week somewhere, for something.

However I do know women that do work with SEN children, but they have good support from a Nanny and share appointments with their partner.

You could always set someone up as an emergency helper, so if your child is ill they can take them.

I work in a preschool as a SENCO funnily enough. Talk about busmans holiday

Tis only possible as I am a teacher and I am therefore off in holidays. I use carer agencies for after school care.

DH employer, major supermarket allows him to do perm, Mon - Fri 6 -2. I work 12:30 - 9:30.

In the hols they allow him to finish at 12:00 but he works 6-11 on a Sat & Sun to make his hours up. Not ideal and we both earn not more than MNW.

*not much more

I had to give up a full on full time job as DS' needs were too great.

I have recently gone back to work, working for a lovely boss doing 2 mornings a week, they are very flexible and allow me to work from home in the school hols.

However the downside is that my annual salary is lower than my previous monthly salary.

121 do you ever see each other?

I work part time during school hours.

dS goes to a childminder during school holidays. She has had him since he was a toddler, before we knew he was ASD, so he is very settled there. He is now 5.

You can get SN nannies/childminders (look on gumtree), though they might be expensive.

A friend (no children with SN but three small children so wants help) has a university student who she has sort of trained in childcare, so if there's a university near you this might be an option. It's not for everyone, especially putting a child with ASD in the care of a young student, but if you get the right person, studying in something relevant, eg teacher training, childcare NVQ etc (or even in psychology as this often covers ASD) this might work.

Also go to agencies who provide TAs/LSAs. Ds's school TA spent this summer nannying for a family, who advertised on gumtree.

It is very hard though. I haven't worked since ds was born when I foolishly gave up a good career but am thinking about going back soon. This aspect really worries me.

Another ex civil servant who was allowed to go back term time, but could not find acceptable childcare.
Re-trained as a TA so that I could fit around the kids -hasten to add that i really enjoy it too, and don't only do it as it fits in!

I'm also a civil servant, in NI. As far as I know, our HR are largely based on those in GB, with the exception of some specific equality provisions which are applicable here.
Apologies if you have already done any of this, these are just some initial thoughts. I'm not sure if it's your line manager or HR Unit which has turned down your request to work term time. The civil service should be setting the standard in accommodating reasonable requests (where these can be met by a business area) for flexibility in working patterns from employees who are carers. It's all in the policies - unfortunately though the spirit of the policies are sometimes lost in translation by some line managers who just want what they perceive to be a bum on a seat who will work to 9-5 and won't ever need time off.
So, what I would do, is write or email(not telephone) your HR Director and request to return to work as soon as possible on term-time working. Explain in detail that you are a carer for your DS who has SN, and that this is why you need a term time post. Point out that you would be willing to take any post, in the Department, or in another Department if necessary, provided that it is within reasonable travelling distance. Ask for an assurance that you will be considered for all vacancies at your grade. Finish by saying that you look forward to hearing from the HR Director shortly.

In the meantime, contact your Welfare Officer, Equality Officer and if you are in the union, your TUS rep. The Welfare Officer should be able to talk you through your options and rights as a carer in respect of returning to work. Ask your Equality Officer for a meeting to discuss how the Department can support your return to work. After you have met, ask the Equality Officer to set up a meeting between the HR Director, the Equality Officer and you to discuss how you can return to work on a term-time basis. Make it clear that if necessary, you will ask for evidence that for each vacancy which arises at your grade, that proper consideration is given if the post could be covered on a termtime basis.
It is awful hat everything should have to be such a fight. But it's reasonable to expect that within the vastness of the civil service, there will be a post at your grade, within reasonable travelling distance, which could accommodate term-time working. Unfortunately, HR Units are busy, so sometime you need to shout loud to be heard!
I really hope it works out for you, and good luck to your DS & you.

You have a claim if they don't consider you as this is associative discrimintaion on the grounds of a disability (your son's) and they can accomodate others. Take legal advice on that. I am not saying it would work but worth a shot...

In my case I am a slef employed partner of a law firm. I juggle. I work 80% and am paid for 80% in fact I work save where my DS has appointments and make up the time I need to. Some clietns know I am taking my son to x, y, z some don't. So long as the work gets done no-one cares and I am only responsible for a timesheet.

I am working now (well should be) to finish something off after DS had physio this morning. On my timesheet I am definitely full time, I just get to chose the time i am full

Apologies for all the typos etc in my post - I'm surprised I manage to keep my job at times...

I run my own business. DS1 is 13 severely autistic and with severe learning disabilities. I found I needed to be 100% in charge of my hours, otherwise it was hopeless.

I didn't work until my older 2 (with ASD) were both in school. DS3 (NT) went into a nursery full time when he was 3, I couldn't have done that with the elder 2. I am probably lucky in as much as both DS1 and 2 tend to be well behaved for other people - they are very rules bound so HAVE to obey the rules in school. So although they get anxious about things in school, the after school club/breakfast club are very happy to have them and a holiday club were happy to have them in the summer.
Having said that, I don't know if I would have been able to put DS2 in holiday club/afterschool on his own (age 5) he was happy going as DS1 was there. I don't think DS1 would have been happy (age 10) except DS2 was there, iyswim.
We are also lucky that between DH and I we get 70days holiday a year, so can cover appointments etc when necessary.
Much more concerned what I will do with DS1 over the holidays when he gets to secondary school...

I am also civil servant (in NI) I work 2 full days and 2 half days, my husband is off the 2 full days I'm in work and my 2 half days are school hours. I have one day off.This means when it comes to school holidays we only have two half days to cover, either with our leave or grandparents.
I would also encourage you to contact your welfare officer, that's what they are there for. They send a report to HR and HR should contact your manager to see why your request can not be accomodated.
Good luck!!