So frustrated

[MrsPurple]

I'm currently sat here in tears, as yet again my Dd2 has frustrated me so much and made me so angry with her behaviour. This time it is down to current issue that no matter what pair or shoes I suggest she is adamant every pair is too small, big etc.

If I explain why I have posted here. Since my dd2 was about 2.5 we noticed something wasn't quite right but couldn't put our finger on it. After spending years (she's just turned 7) battling for help with Nhs and school and being made to feel we are useless parents and obviously don't have a clue. Dd1 hasn't any issues( except for not being very confident and now at 9 getting hormonal and worrying about school work - unwarranted)

Anyway finally at magical age of 7 and after changing schools dd2 has been diagnosed with auditory memory difficulties, some socialisation issues with her peers and reading/writing problems. She is under a Salt and paediatrician, ed psych now getting involved due to SENCO pushing.

She has many traits, obsessions and rituals. The problem is as my dd2 is just below borderline in all areas no one is seeing the full picture of what we as a family deal with on a daily basis, and also sometimes I question myself if dd is so clever she plays on her problems, am I too strict? Every morning is a battle as she says can't get ready, won't get out of bed. Have even taken her to school in pj's before now.

Not sure how much more I can take, as I'm worn out. It hasn't helped that we have just moved back to our house after 12 months living away due to flood trashing our house and contents.

My dd2 is a very loving child when she wants to be and I love her so much, but hate having this frustration and everyday ends up in a screaming match.

Sorry for length of this, but wondered if any mn have any ideas to improve our situation.

My dd4 is just the same with clothing or shoes .

I end up buying her things and they sit on display for a few weeks until "she's used " to them , before she will wear them .

She's 7 and has autism ( and other stuff ) .

Think you can't change your child , but you can't change your attitude . You just have to start thinking it more of your dd's personality and less of a battle of wills iykwim ? . There's no point in getting yourself worked up ...so what if your dd goes to school in pjs now and then , at least she goes and if you've got her there at all when she's difficult then you deserve a pat on the back for job done ! .

Sounds like your dd is just below criteria for a dx of some kind , but still a bit of a challenge. Doesn't make it easier for you though . You sound exhausted .

Have you tried bribery / sticker /charts ect ? Sometimes they work .

Hopefully someone else will be along with a better idea of how to help .

Hi droves, thanks for, your reply. Had another bad morning with her and took her to school with one shoe on and the other plus another pair in a bag. Now feel the worse mother in the world. I handed the bag to the teacher (who is new to the school and this is the first conversation I have had with him). I did start crying and apologised , he said not to worry he would make sure she put shoes on. I then got her from the next room and she was very quiet and said she wanted her flip flops!

It is her personality and I love her for being her, but she is very hard work and with the difficult year we have had coming back off holiday last year to discover our house trashed and then living in a hotel and rental house for nearly a year I think maybe the moving back to our house has made her worse , as she doesn't deal with change very well. My dh agrees she is getting worse. Her paeditrician has asked i get details of the auditory testing centre at Great Ormond street (as other posting mention it on here), but I have called them and the switchboard haven't a clue what I am talking about.

I have just booked her an appointment with Osteopath as cranial osteo always seems to calm her down.

We've tried the charts, rewards, everything (not just for a weeks but long times) and they don't have any effect after the first few days.

She is desperate to get a rabbit (although she has a phobia over most animals so i am trying to encourage this), however I have said that she needs to allow time to feed rabbit before school and therefore until she does get ready without performance she can't have one. She has even picked the rabbit at a farm. It doesn't seem to make a difference.

all her issues etc are just below borderline so we are battling trying to get someone to take notice, her school have assisted thankfully. The problem is due to her memory problems she forgets what she has done within minutes of doing it, so time out and punishments or even praise for good behaviour don't really touch her as she can't match them to the behaviour they are linked to iyswim?

My ds,12,is like this with memory and also similar to what you describe with the rabbit-very hard to reason with. He also doesnt like change and has mild auditory problems. .He has obsessions/rituals etc also, has terrible handwriting for his age and has poor social skills.He was diagnosed with Aspergers 2 years ago.I know from others on here that Aspergers is often very hard to spot in girls.Is this an area that the SENCO has looked at referral wise etc? Just a thought?