autism spectrum this is very long

[missingmumxox]

twin 1, my friend has a boy who I am supporting with her through he process of getting her son diagnosed autistic, he is 8 and it is imperative she does this as we live in a grammar school area and the nearest school to him is not only a grammar but has a autism specialist unit in the school, my cousin was a TA there for years and they are extremely geared up for children with this condition as in she was allocated a child and if he went into melt down they knew the routine was to leave the room and go to the specialist centre, where they would carry on working for that lesson, my cousin loved it as she had the same child for years and she had to stay ahead of the curriculum which allowed her to retake her GCSEs and then do A levels and be she will training as a teacher, :) that info was incidental but a happy moment.
long story long my friend is always referring to the way our sons play together but apart, and they do sit side by side with a computer or cars or whatever they are absorbed in a companionably way but not actually interacting apart from giving facts to each other or correcting something the other is doing and I smile and nod.
she has been doing this since my son was 18 months old and I know she is hinting my son is as well as her son is a year older and she has been fighting a long time but i have heard her from the first, but...I am not sure I want a diagnosis or even that he needs one, he gets on at school, missed a year and a bit of ed as we lived in the USA and they didn't start school until they where nearly 6 and then only did 2 1/2 hours, he is flying ahead and the school have dropped our 3 monthly meetings on his progress as from Dec 11 to March 12 he went from a P8 across the board to 2A's and B's by the March, he just seemed to get it all of a sudden.
he also displays humour, and can construct a joke, recently (we where discussing that I couldn't afford a Wii game for context) he asked me what if a boy couldn't have a wii because his parents couldn't afford it, he had a grin on his face, I answered I didn't know, and his reply to much laughter was they would have to use the garden to wee ( he is only 7) which showed to me he is not literal.
but lately he is obsessed by babies ages and will ask parents the age of the baby and report back to me, but flip side is he is extremely gentle with babies and interested in them and when he and his brother where babies I was astounded to realised that boys are more interested in babies than girls.
biggest problem I have with him is when he does play he wants to control all play even with older children in the street and he does become violent, hitting, spitting, throwing things, he is soo easy in the confines of the house.
am I making excuses or should I listen to my BF more, obviously I am thinking I should listen to my friend but....well you know tis easier if you think every thing is fine :) twin 2 is dyslexic like me.. that I can understand, and will be annoying you all for advice on him soon,

The only way to find out is to follow it up. You could aks your GP for a referral, or if you don't want to go that far talk to the SENCo at school.
Incidentally my DS has AS and has a sense of humour. Having autism doesn't preclude a sense of humour, but people with AS often have a sense of humour which is a bit quirky.

Whether you pursue a Dx or not is up to you.
Just to let you know though that my DS ( AS) has a sense of humour - he is always using the most awful puns and then when we don't groan or whatever (because they are sOOO bad) trying to explain them to us in depth. He can take things literally, but also can understand a lot of turns of phrase and use them himself once they have been explained to him.
He also likes to be in control and also is academic so no worries there.
These things do not preclude ASD.

thanks, and thanks for wading through my terrible post, I know it wasn't an easy read, and I have learned something about the humour, I am going to sleep on it, as everything I have put is also my husband and he is pretty okay but the thing I forgot to mention was the psychologist mentioning his lack of need for an adult when she witnessed him hurting himself but at home which is why I forgot he is a pita, demanding a plaster and cuddle. even though he actually doesn't need a plaster.
also it is my husband who is worried because DT1 is so like him, my Dh is intense but humorous, intelligent, gets on well at work, popular etc, I was unaware of the humour bit to this...me thinks DH has done some research and trying to break to me gently...he is apt to do this, something new to learn.