So my worries are ridiculous

[WhoKnowsNow]

Going to see the gp next week with ds after years of doubts and thinking maybe its just me? maybe he will outgrow this? since he was a toddler ive worried about everything from ADHD to ASD, we have already been told over a year ago but OT and SALT that ds has 'sensory behaviours' but this was discussed verbally. Although many of these behaviours have outgrown or drastically reduced we still have concerns. Dh often discusses ds with a workfriend they often discuss their children so know a little bit about us. Well this workfriends wife was in while we popped in to give dh something she is a daycare support worker and works with autistic children she also has an autistic child herself, who is ds' age but quite severe by the sounds of things and needs constant care. Well according to this person our worries that ds COULD have ASD are ridiculous and we've not to worry she determined that as he can go to school (has a few sensory aids for fidgeting), go on school trips without additional support (true), can cope with anything unexpected i.e going out suddenly (yep fine, although constantly asks where,when, how long, where now and is what appears very badly behaved while out, overstimulated?) can 'look after' ds2 (1) while im out the room having a shower, tidying ect (ds is like an overgrown toddler in maturity so ds2 loves him jumping about all over the place, making silly words and sounds etc so quite happy) he is not withdrawn at all or likes his own company (will talk to anyone and everyone wether you want him to frankly never shuts up and being able to amuse himself is rare) dosnt stim (perhaps but then whats a stim? ds rolls his eyes, picks his nails and skin off, bounces about like the duracel bunny! touches everything) he is eager to please others and help (true if you ask him to help you with anything he will happily oblige he loves to make you proud and often says 'am i being good mum' but when you tell him hes done well he acts silly tounge out, wide eyes not looking at you silly little noises, embaressment?) seeks out friends (yes will approach any child and thinks they are all his friends even when they clearly want him to back off) plays with toys (yes and no, he does play with toys now didnt as a toddler its always his dr who toys (loved dr who for over 3 years now) or maybe his cars but has to be almost forced to go and play, will happily stop an activity even his beloved dr who when asked (true)

anyway this lady who seen ds for maybe 10 mins or so and knows whatever her dh has fed back to her said hes certainly very energetic and talkative but wouldnt advise talking to gp as they may deem me unable to cope with his energy im now thinking WTF its taken me years to pluck up the confidence to do this, ive already had doubts that its all my fault after a family member told me ive just not socialised him enough so he dosnt know how to act appropriatly and that his odd behaviours are habit or attention i literally dont know what to do anymore :(

ignore this woman, and go to your GP

your DS sounds a lot like my DD, on a good day

You need to rise above it and completely ignore what she has said. She is not o doctor or an expert and possibly has had her view coloured by her own DS and children she works with perhaps being more greatly affected than your DS.

In the kindest possible way, you will need to grow a thicker skin than this to push for help if you think your DS needs it. You are his advocate.

Get to that GP and make sure you are heard. I have no idea if your DS needs more support, but if he does it will be down to you to make sure he gets it. I wish this weren't the case and that people in nurseries, schools, GPs etc were falling over themselves to help, but often they're not and we have to toughen up and push, push, push.

She may be right, she may be wrong but do you really think it's a good idea to let her put you off going to your GP and following up your worries?

DS 5 has ASD and goes to special school, his dificulties are obvious! I would never dream of telling a parent not to follow up on their worries even if I couldn't "see it" myself.

One thing I've learned with my dc - ds diagnosis of ASD is that when it comes to my ds and dd I am the expert. I know if there's going to be an issue and if there isn't, I know if something is right and something is wrong. This is the same for you, go to your Gp - for years I had nursery staff, family, salt and HV tell me that there was nothing wrong with my ds and tbh it was what I wanted to hear - but that suspicion and doubt was always there and it was proved right.
If you are right you can start to get help for your ds if you're wrong then you've lost nothing - either way the only way is up

You cannot compare two children with ASD it's just not possible. Maybe this lady's perspective is skewed if she has a child with more severe needs. You have concerns you should seek some professional advice.