7 year old DS's behaviour getting worse. Is this normal behaviour ? (cross-post on parenting)

[Betti]

I have a 7yr old son (middle child) who's behaviour is deteriorating by the day. Basically he thinks he knows the answer to everything. If he asks a question and you give him the answer, he says 'no it's not.....it's such and such'. He refuses to do things like homework and it takes things like his xbox being taken away for him to give in and do it. He is extremely stubborn, argumentative and fairly aggressive both verbally and physically. He's losing friends as he's so bossy and such a 'know-it-all'. He is very intelligent but his handwriting is appalling...more like a 4-5yr old and when we speak to him about it he says writing is boring and I hate it. He aggravates his older sister and younger brother almost for fun. He seems to enjoy it. When I tell him off and tell him to go to his room, he shouts at me and sometimes lashes out. Othertimes he cries at everything (usually things that aren't important). His teacher has had to speak to me several times about his behaviour in the classroom, shouting out, not sitting still. It doesn't matter how he is punished, nothing really bothers him. I am really at my wits end. Surely this isn't normal behaviour for a 7yr old. He is very different from my other children. I am beginning not to like being around him as he just causes everyone to argue. It really is getting me down and I don't know who can help me.

I posted the above post on the parenting thread and someone suggested ASD. Firstly, I don't know what this is but also how can I be sure.

thank you

You could try the Autistic Society website for more information about ASD and Asperger Syndrome.
My DS2 was very much like that at 7, and did get an AS diagnosis at 12. I met another mother recently whose child had had the same problems at 7 and now, four years later is very happy and settled, so it may be something he will grow out of.
He is a middle child, so it is possible that he has a bad case of middle child syndrome.At school he may well feel that any attention, even bad attention, is better than no attention. School could help by making sure he gets lots of praise when he does something right, rather than punishing him when he does something wrong.
Is this something which has happened in every class, or is it the expectation of a particular teacher?
Do you manage to spend time with him on his own? Is he feeling that at home he needs to behave like this to get noticed?
Have you looked at 1-2-3 Magic? I loaned my copy to someone and it never came back, but I seem to remember it had suggestions for a reward system called a Token Economy whereby the child earns points/tokens/coins for good behaviour. Many people swear by it and it was recommended by our Ed Psych.

Hi betti and welcome to the board.

There are a few things in your post which make me think that your ds might need some assesments by a developmental paediatrician.

Reusing to accept that someone else might be right could suggest that he is struggling with empathy.

Wanting to do things his way or no way could be due to ridigity. Not wanting to do homework could be that he feels that home is home and school is school and never the twain shall meet.

Not sitting still could be due to sensory issues and handwriting difficulties could be due to hypermobility or coordiation problems.

Some of these things can be indicators of ASD or Autistic Spectrum disorder, some of them can be due to behaviour issues or delayed development.

I think you should take your list of concerns and go to your GP, ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. At the same time speak to your sons SENCO at school about getting him some extra help in the classroom.

Some children with undiagnosed[and diagnosed] ASD can hold it together at school as they are good a following rules, only to fall apart and become withdrawn or agressive at home.

Keep coming on here for advice and support, there is always someone around