Bullying started again already

[CheeseToasty]

So a little bulling started last year in year one. I went and spoke to the school and they said they would deal with it.

I am not sure when it started as ds wasn't talking about it at home. I only became aware of it thought other people/children and near the end of term the school rang when he got hurt. TBH because of his difficulties he wasn't aware of it all the time.

Anyway today HE came and told me of an incident where a group of children pushed him and cornered him into an area of the playground that he was not allowed.

Please help. What more can I do? And what should the school be doing?

I have a proposed statement in the post (have not seen it yet) and feel like nipping it in the bud and naming a different school. But he is going to be a target where ever he goes :-(.

Thank you for reading

Oh your poor ds.

Well firstly I would go straight on back to the school to tell them, and ask them what they are going to do about it. They said they would "deal with it" last time - ask them what exactly they did, and what they will do now.

Do you know who it was? Was it the same children as last time?

I don't know if he'll be a target anywhere he goes. I would like to think not, as I'm sure there are schools which do not foster - let alone tolerate - attitudes which lead to bullying. I don't believe that there are bullies everywhere (maybe I'm too idealistic) either - and if a school does have some they should stamp it out immediately. Imo schools play a major part in allowing bullying (by turning a blind eye or dealing with it ineffectively), so even if there are a few bad apples in a school, if the overall ethos of a school is nice, and the anti-bullying policy is effective, it would not allowed to get a foothold. I'm afraid to say it does sound like this school is pretty ineffectual about stamping on bullying.

Are you in a position where you can look around at other schools, get other opinions etc?

They did seem to take it seriously last time. It got passed on to the learning mentors who spoke to ds and bullys. The learning mentors also do social skills groups that ds already attends. The head also came and spoke to me and assured me they were taking it seriously.

There are two children who are always involved but this time it was a group of children as well as the usual culprits.

I hope you are right about not being target anywhere.

I am in a position to look at other schools but it is difficult as there are many good reasons to stay and only one reason to go. Wish the bullies would go! Also dd starts reception there next week. I had the chance to get her a place elsewhere and threw it away.

I moved since ds started school and now closer to the most sough after schools in the borough.

Put it in writing to the HT cc the governors. Explain that your DS is being targeted, repeatedly over a period of time with 2 main protagonists.
Incidents of bullying need to be recorded in school, and most LAs ask for data. Putting this officially means that there will be a paper trail. The school will be expected to show what they have done to resolve the situation.
The letter doesn't need to be angry/accusatory in tone. Make it factual - make it personal like you have said to us. Include that initially, due to his SNs he was not always aware of the nature of these incidents, but that now, he is fully aware and has been brave enough to come to you and ask for support.
Unlike bialy (sorry bialy, just ime) I do believe there is bullying everywhere. It is the measure of a school in how it is dealt with.

Agree with Auntevil. Write to the school decstibing the incidents he has been subjected to and name Names - don't hold back.

They can ignore phone calls and emails - they can't ignore letters. Copy the letter to the Chair of Governors or to the LA - you need a record of this so that if the bullying is not tackled effectively so have a record of the number of times and the incidents you complained about.

Only then will school start to take it seriously.

Thanks for your advice. I will start writing. Ds has since told me of a further 2 incidents that happened the same day. I want to cry.

Echo what others have said - put it all in writing. Ask for a written response every time then school will soon take action and it's likely that those 2 boys will have picked on other children too