Advice on starting reception

[birdynumnums]

My son has just started reception - he has speech delay, sensory issues and they feel his social interaction is rated between 23 and 36 months . His speech has really improved over the last year. He was receiving speech therapy but was discharged (I was pleased at the time thinking it was because he has improved so much was was later informed by a teacher it was basically all about cost cutting and they were surprised because they felt he would still benefit from it).

He is being reviewed by an early years team who visit once a month (who have not diagnosed him with anything, saying it is too early to tell. They said he could either be on the autistic spectrum or just really, really stubborn) So, he has no statement to start school with at all but they are going to continue watching him and getting an education psychiatrist to observe.

So, he started reception yesterday. Today, he had to stay all day. I am concerned because he has come out with some homework asking him to draw a picture of a member of his family and to copy some numbers and letters. He can't/won't do this - he refuses to draw or write for me at home (he says he can't do it but refuses to even try). Of course, I'm planning on encouraging him over weekend but it's worrying me now what they are expecting him to do. Do I just send it back with a scribble on it which is realistically the only thing he will probably do?

He also came out incredibly thirsty and when I looked in his bag, he had not opened his drink carton so all he would have drunk all day was his mid morning milk. I asked the teacher how he was at collection and they said he was emotional in the afternoon but now i'm thinking it was probably because he was so thirsty. Knowing him, he probably didn't drink it because he thought he couldn't open it. I asked him if he asked for any help with his lunch as there was also food he hadn't eaten and he said he asked Mrs Smith and she said sit down (there probably is more to this story though because his teacher seems very nice).

So now I'm sat here feeling sad because although he has no diagnosis or statement, they are aware he has some issues and I kind of feeling like he is being left to get on with it all regardless of whether he is struggling or not. Sorry for boring long post - does anyone have any thoughts or advice. I know he has only just started but I don't want him to lose the confidence he has built up over the last year by just expecting him to do things he is unable to do at the moment.

It's all very early days.

The teacher will get to know him and adjust her expectations.

It's fine to either not do the hw, or do a squiggle. I would never ask my child to do hw I thought was inappropriate for them.

Tell the teacher he didn't drink his drink, and that made him worse. Ask if she could check up on it. Could he have a drink in something which is easy for him to use rather than a carton he has to put the straw in?

There will be lots of blips along the way. But keep talking to the teacher. A lot can be resolved easily.

You will need to let the teacher know that his behaviour is likely to be due to lack of fluids. It is much easier to specify that he needs to drink morning milk, one cup at lunch time, one cup at say 2 o'clock etc. It will be easier for them to put this in their day than just saying 'keep an eye on how much he drinks' - as they will try, but it might be ad hoc.
Re homework. If you have sat and tried, and he does nothing, write on the sheet exactly that. If he does 1 scribble and says it is dad - write that. This will all go toward evidence of his abilities and therefore his needs. Sitting for hours, tears, etc just to produce a 'piece of homework' is not what the teacher is looking for

Hi - your ds sounds very similar to mine. Wanted to just say hi and I'll be back later - we're trying for a statement at the moment in a very similar situation. This week has been pretty stressful as ds started reception so really just wanted to say hi

Hi NoPinkPlease

Thanks to those who have responded. I will have a quick word with teacher on Monday morning and ask them to encourage him to drink. Having a go with the dreaded homework tomorrow.

Hi birdy, it's such a worrying time when they start school. Could you perhaps speak to the teacher or TA to emphasise that they need to make sure that your DS is drinking? Would it be possible for the school to follow the drinks schedule he has at home - this would a reasonable adjustment for your DS.
My DS started school last year and from the little he has told me, they had a lunchtime supervisor who helped them with their lunches in the class-room & then supervised in the playground, presumably whilst the teacher and TA were having their lunch. The school also asks that that children bring a sports bottle of water to drink during the day, additional to their lunch time drink.
Has the teacher suggested any meetings with you, maybe in line in with the monthly meetings with the early years teams?