Am i being unreasonable?

[claw4]

Ds has an extremely limited diet/food phobia/limited fluid intake etc. Literally 5 foods he will eat. He has had therapy at feeding clinic, CAMHS etc, etc over the years and i have been told to try and broaden his diet and increase his fluid intake. He has been anaemic and has toileting difficulties due to his diet/limited fluid intake.

For 8 years all he would drink has been blackcurrant, recently he tried orange lucozade sport and liked it.

Anyhow he has not been able to eat his packed lunch in school since April 2011. So every lunchtime, all he has is a small cartoon of ribena and his lunch remains untouched.

Today i put a lucozade orange sport in his lunch because its a bigger bottle so he is drinking more, something new that he is prepared to try and i figured it would give me some energy seen as he doesnt eat.

Ds proudly announced to this class teacher that he was trying a new drink. Class teacher told him he was not allowed 'fizzy' drinks (alhough it isnt fizzy, its flat orange) and to check with the lunch supervisor.

Lunch supervisor told ds he wasnt allowed this drink. So ds has gone all day without any food (which is quite normal) but no drink either.

Should i just change him back to his usual Ribena, is it unreasonable to send lucozade sports drink?

I'd be having a word with the school about this now particularly as your DS has ongoing food issues and explain to them that this is a non fizzy drink.

Is the SENCO any good there claw?.

SENCO is useless and extremely hostile. I am in the middle of Tribunal for a statement (school are not backing my request) and communication/relations with the school are not good.

I see this as just another example of the school/teachers being ill informed and not communicating and not understanding ds's needs, instead choosing to blame me for his difficulties.

It wouldnt surprise me if ds's class teacher and the lunch supervisor are even aware that he has autism or SN's.

Im aware i need to pick my battles and im not sure if this a battle worth fighting on one hand, then on the other i think i have worked bloody hard and ds is making some progress, why should i just let it go.

Blinkin lunchbox police strike again

It is awful that he was told not to drink it, he should have been told drink it today but bring something else next time.

Oh ffs. It's a special dietary requirement, and shoukd be treated as such.

Well at the very least explain the situation and what happened in a reasonable tone in a letter. On copy for SENCO, and one for tribunal file.

Bloody lunchbox police.

Can this drink possibly be put in a different container; will your son accept this?. May be an idea if this is possible.

Ds said the lunch superviser told him "you will go hyper" and that he should drink water instead (something he has never touched) Ds has been drinking this orange during the 6 weeks holidays and doesnt 'go hyper', if he did, i wouldnt let him drink it, let alone send it into school!

Oh Star, it wont be a dietary requirement unless an expert has prescribed in schools view. The dentist once wrote to school, ask that ds be allowed to chew gum for 10 minutes after eating, after having 5 teeth removed. They refused this. They will know better, they will make a big deal out of this.

Back soon, off to the park for a bit

Well if you can leave the battle for now then do, but do get it recorded.

Additional evidence:

Ds needs an environment and support flexible enough to ensure where his small successes are identified, praised and encouraged and further built upon with staff trained and experienced enough to ensure this.

oh dear god. completely unacceptable

I had this (very briefly) with dd1 when she was at pre-scvhool. thsnkfully, once I pointed out that depriving a child of liquids (she only drank one thing then, and it certainly wasn't water!) was neglect at best, and abuse at worst - and they were failing in their duty of care if they didn't let her have the one thing she would drink.

understand you have to pick your battles though.

I would definitely set it out in a polite letter, including mentioning what the dinner lady said - seems the drink wasn't refused on the grounds of it not being water, but because an unqualified lunch assistant decided that she wouldn't let him have it. absolutely bonkers.

being a narky type, I would also ask why the school were not keen to move forward (and, in fact, were being deliberately obstructive) with any small progress your ds has made wrt eating/drinkig, since they are well aware of his needs. but that probably wouldn't be helpful

claw - has it been boiling hot with you tiday? it has here, and we're not so far away.

I would add that into your letter, tbh. that on a particularly hot day, your ds was denied the only liquid available to him. given he already has dehydration issues (Iassume, given the link with toileting), that is an unbelievably stupid thing to do, and really quite dangerous.

This was done contrary to medical advice, always puts you in a good position for a nice but firmly worded letter to be copied for your records in the run up to tribunal.

Refusing a child hydration is a form of neglect & means the school is failing in their "duty of care" (buzzword alert) towards your child. I would say that this incident highlights the need for staff training in ASD's too, as you have tribunal looming.

Lunchtime assistants are NOT "healthy eating experts" like consultants or clinical dieticians, no matter their icckle egos (oh the fun I had in reception cos DS liked whole carrots same as bugs bunny).

Thanks everyone.

ZZZZ ds will not drink from a water bottle, even if i could a teacher or supervisor is likely to ask what it is and ds would tell them!

Silver, it has been extremely hot here today, as it was yesterday too, which is what prompted me to send the orange, instead of ribena today, as the bottle is much bigger than the ribena. Children is ds's class are allowed to bring in water bottles to keep on their desks to drink throughout the day with refills. Ds will not drink water, so doesnt do it. So the only drink he gets between leaving home at 8.30 and pick up at 3.20 is a cartoon of ribena.

Ds isnt allowed to bring in blackcurrant to leave on his desk etc, so i thought a bigger drink at lunch time.

Star i think i will send him with orange tomorrow and a note in his home/school book, asking why he was refused etc, let them explain to me in writing. No doubt the minute i start sayng ds said this, that and the other, the conversation will not have happened. If there reason is it will 'make him hyper' let them write and tell me that.

It has really pissed me off, that both the class teacher and supervisor have told ds he is not allowed, but not a word has been said to me.

that was similar to what happened with us, claw (although dd1 was at preschool, so no desks etc)

we had the senco tell us that dd1 couldn't have her carton of juice instead of milk at snack time. and that she had to have water at lunch time. when we protested (dd1 is dairy free, and won't touch water, and we had just managed to get her drinking any fluids again afte a 9 month strike), senco asked us "well, what if another child is allergic to the juice your dd has?" (anothe child wasn't - preschool wre ok with it too, just the area senco who wasn't )

we made them allow free flow access on medical grounds. it is unthinkable that anyone with any compassion would refuse a child the one drink they will tolerate, on a boiling hot day.

is there any way you gp would write a letter stating free flow access to liquids is a necdessity, given ds' dehydration issues?

I wish I could win the lottery, and set up a school for your ds - you've both been through too much already

Pipinjo i dont think my GP will get involved in anything further. He signed ds off from school with stress due to his self injury etc.

The LA wrote to him stating that a 'multi disciplinary team had assessed ds and his needs were being met by school' and accusing my gp of getting in the way of ds's education.They were also implying that he wasnt an expert in stress or self injury etc, etc.

my gp told me he couldnt get involved further and that if were lying, then it was down to me to take it up with them!

I cant see him being willing to go up against the LA or school again.

Silver as above, about GP, the LA have literally bullied my gp out of supporting me.

I cant wait to get him out of that school, but i have bide my time. Thanks that is a lovely thought

Try GP again. Bullying a health professional into not diagnosing / certifying school-related issues is probably not too hard. But If the LEA try telling a qualified doctor they know nothing about dehydration, surely the GP will take offence! As would dietician, school nurse, anyone from CAMHS or the paediatrician if mini-claw has one.

pipinjo and mariamma thanks, ds has already been 'dxed' with high levels of anxiety and self harming is his way of dealing with tension by CAMHS, they even wrote in a report that he suffers with high levels of anxiety which is caused by confusion with social interactions and confusion from his environment and a particular theme evidence in their work was school.

My gp has re-referred ds back to CAMHS and he is saying this is all he can do.

Paed, dietician, feeding clinic, specialist feeding at CAMHS, school nurse, continence centre, have all said the same thing, his soiling is due to limited food and fluid intake. But again because he doesnt soil in school, only home, school see it as a home problem. (he holds onto it in school, because they also refuse to supply him with wet wipes and a full length mirror to enable him to wipe his bottom)

Having time to think about this, i have far bigger battles to fight and a drink seems a bit petty in the grander scheme of things. I could just give him 2 ribena drinks for now and have my day at Tribunal where hopefully i can put this and everything right.

Thanks everyone.

Claw, pop to the GP anyway. Won't hurt to have it officially recorded in the file.