Can parents of a child with dyslexia please help me?

[StuntNun]

My DS2 has just started his second year of Primary School. All through his first year, DH and I had concerns about his reading skills and now that he has started school again we are seeing similar problems. When we have approached the school about his problems they have dismissed our concerns however you hear about children with dyslexia that develop coping skills that enable them to get by in school even though they are not actually keeping up with the rest of the class. His maths, language, physical and emotional development are all on track, it is only reading that he is having problems with.

I have put together a list of all my observations, particularly given that DS1 learned to read without any problems, so I think I have good basis for comparison. If you have a child with dyslexia I would greatly appreciate any feedback you could give me on whether these sound like dyslexia or not.

• Stuttered until age 5 or 6
• Can't remember nursery rhymes and songs
• Mixes up some words, e.g. biscetti for spaghetti
• Often can't remember the names of objects, e.g. will ask for his 'thingy'
• Doesn't know all the letters of the alphabet (he is in his second year of school)
• Names some letter but says the sounds for others
• Doesn't always know both letter name and sound
• Writes some letters backwards
• Confuses b, d and p
• At age 6 finally understood what is meant by rhyming words
• At age 6 finally understood the use of the words 'she' and 'her' (he always said 'he' and 'his' for females before)
• Write large letters, he likes to fill the whole line whether capital or lower case
• When reading, often just guesses words but they are completely incorrect, i.e. no letters in common with the actual word
• Looks away from the page when trying to work out a word
• Reads a word on one page of the book but can't read it again when it comes to the next page
• Sometimes he can spell out a word for example c - a - t but he can't seem to put them together to work out the word
• Can't cope with non-phonetic sounding words such as 'me' (he says 'meh') or 'the'
• Frequently cannot read any of the words in his homework reading book
• Often gets 1 to 4 out of 10 on his words list, even when they are revision words
• Loves being read to but gets distressed and agitated and cannot cope when he has to read

It could be dyslexia, but it could potentially also be other things. None of us can diagnose over the internet.
DD has dyslexia, but she could rhyme and her spoken language is fantastic but her reading was very very slow to come and although that is much better now her spelling is atrocious.
She confused b &d and p&q she sounds out letters in a work then puts them back together in the wrong order.
I know that it presents differently in different children.

What do school say?

I am currently working through something called dancing bears and apples and pears with my DD. - I don't yet know how much it is helping as this is our first week, but you can download flashcards from the website and try to teach the letter sounds yourself using these - you should do it daily gradually introducing them one at a time once your DS knows the previous ones and reliably gets them right first time.

Dyslexic children need to be taught and overtaught the phonics until they eventually all go into their long term memory and it can take a long time for some people so I'm told. It would be a start though if you want to do something useful.here

There are a lot of people on here with experience of dyslexia so I am sure that someone else will be along soon

Yes, sounds like dyslexia to me.

Sure, Alison is right that it could be anything - but that's because dyslexia can be anything.

Which is why they often call it SpLD now instead of dyslexia.

I would say everything you have listed is a symptom of dyslexia.

Thanks for the replies so far. I realise that dyslexia can't be diagnosed purely from the list that I have given but DS2 is struggling disproportionately with his reading compared to the rest of his schoolwork. I would like to get an idea of whether to press the school for an investigation as we have tried the wait and see approach in the hope of a sudden leap forward in his reading but it hasn't happened. If he is going to struggle (my dad and brother both learned to read very late) then I would like to be able to start helping him now rather than wait until he is behind.

I'm hoping that parents with experience of dyslexia may have insights into what is going on that I can use to help my son. In fact, regardless of whether he is dyslexic or not, he obviously needs additional help with his reading because it is causing him so much difficulty and distress.

If you are in the UK you are likely to be told that they cannot ( read Won't) diagnose dyslexia before year 3 by which time your DS will have fallen a long way behind unless they are doing something to help. (BUT I know this is not always the case as DD's friend who is also dyslexic has an older brother and younger siblings with dyslexia too and they did DX the little ones really early).

Personally If you think that there is a problem I would press the school and see what they have to say. Make an appointment with the SENCO and the class teacher /last year's teacher.

Good luck.

Lots of advice about things you can do for dyslexia here:

Www.dyslexiaadvice.co.uk

Things that have helped my DDs dyslexia are:

• neurodevelopment therapy
• vision therapy
• listening therapy
• dietary changes
• supplements.

Theses are the areas I recommend you research.

Stuntnun. I think you have summed up a perfect profile of a child who has Dyslexia. What happens from here unfortunately depends mostly on your son's school. My daughter's school refused to have her assessed so I paid for a private assessment. This cost almost £500 and whilst not a magic wand (still having a long drawn-out struggle to get dd the help she needs), gave us a starting point and helped my daughter understand that she is 'not stupid'.

HW x

Thanks again for the advice. I think part of the problem has been that DH and I have been struggling on with the school homework despite the fact that DS2 can't deal with it. Maybe we would be better to relax a bit on the homework (perhaps give DS2 fifteen minutes to do it then finish before he becomes distressed) and concentrate on the fun things. He loves being read to so we can continue to encourage his interest that way. My DS1 has special needs due to ADHD and Aspergers so we have been down this route before. We need to get the school to refer DS2 to the local MASTS (Multi-Agency Support Teams for Schools) group for additional help. As far as I know he doesn't actually need a diagnosis or statement to access this team, he just has to need extra support.

I really wanted to get the perspective of other parents. I know if someone put up a list of traits that they thought might indicate ADHD I would be able to state whether they were similar to my DS1 and therefore further investigation would be warranted. Unfortunately I have no experience of dyslexia, I just recognise a discrepancy between DS2s literacy skills and his progress in other areas.

Some of the traits you list ring very true with our DS - although some not so. As others have said dyslexia covers quite a broad spectrum of difficulties, with the one common feature being difficulty with literacy (and often issues with working memory and organisational abilities). Our DS was diagnosed a few months ago aged 7, following our Education Board's protocol. We're in Northern Ireland and here schools have to implement an Individual Education Plan (IEP) based on teachers having observed some specific difficulty - the earliest they do this here is in P2 (age 5/6). There are stage 1 and stage 2 IEPs - with the latter being used if Stage 1 IEP after a term or two hasn't resolved the difficulties. If stage 2 also doesn't resolve a child's difficulties the school can move to Stage 3, which is assessment by an Educational Psychologist approved by the Education Board. If you want to fast-track this it is almost impossible- paying for a private assessment doesn't guarantee that the school have to take on board the findings of such an assessment - so may not grant the support recommended. Thankfully DS's school actioned everything as quickly as possible, and DS was diagnosed as early as the Board recommend. As others have said dyslexia is now termed "Specific Learning Difficulties" - if this is diagnosed the Educational Psych makes recommendations for extra support in school and is DS's case the involvement of an external specialist who will work with his teachers and him to further assess him (to better identify the best learning strategies for him) and then support his learning (termed "intervention"). He will be re-assessed periodically and support tailored accordingly.

The main traits DS shows are:

• Great difficulty in remembering spellings of non-phonetically spelt words
• Slow to read, especially struggling with longer words and those above - even if high frequency/common words
• Writing untidy and large - looks like that of a child approx. 2 years younger
• Confusion of letters b&d, p&q, even a&e (upside down mirror)
• Cannot remember left and right
• Great difficulty in memorising sequences - still doesn't remember order of days of the week, months of the year etc. Can't remember simple patterns.
• Great difficulty copying words from the board to paper in front of him (i.e. struggles with working memory, which in his case is very weak)
• When younger was VERY reluctant to use pens and pencils, even to draw with - though now enjoys drawing and has got quite good at it (though still not his fave activity
• At preschool flitted between activities, couldn't settle at anything for long (though definitely does not have ADHD)
• Was slightly late in starting to talk - didn't say any words until just over 2 years old

On the plus side DS has an AMAZING long term memory - and can memorise stories very well (definitely a coping mechanism), and also a phenomenal imagination. He remembers facts very well and is naturally very curious, but sadly said to me just yesterday that he "just wants to be able to write stories on his own like his friends". He struggles so much with writing and the gap between his abilities in this and that of his peers is now enormous. But "intervention" is only just starting, so we're hopeful this will help close the gap a little, but already know it'll take a lot of hard work and A LOT of repetition.

Dyslexia can be confused with dyspraxia - however my DS has no motor control issues, excellent balance, rode a bike from a young age etc. & the EP has ruled this out.
At home we read together every night- I read him books far beyond his ability because he just loves stories, and then we also read a few pages of books that he can just about manage - and practise especially high frequency words that can't be spelt phonetically. But school utterly exhausts him & we've been advised to not spend too much time on homework after school- and he needs to have a chance to do activities at which he can excel independent of his literacy problems, like sports, art, music etc. - very, very important for his self confidence which can be constantly knocked in the classroom by comparison with what his peers can do with their work.

OK this was a massive post but I hope it helps you a little - I would definitely discuss this further with your DS2's teachers and ask for an IEP as a first step - they need to know that classroom based "intervention" isn't enough to help bring his abilities "into line" before they will look at getting him fully assessed.

Good luck!

PS. DS also didn't "get" rhyming words for AGEs. In fact he was well over 6 before he understood them. My dd1 by comparison grasped this aged 4.

Jellyfish thank you very much for the detailed post. I am in NI as well. There does seem to be good help available here (DS1 has special needs) but the school doesn't think there is a problem. When DS1 was doing his reading revision homework yesterday he seems to know some words that he has memorised but it's the words that don't spell out phonetically (my, the) that cause him real problems. On the plus side he 'read' five books at the weekend, just looking at the pictures so he still loves reading so long as he doesn't have to read any actual words.

I hope the school is right but I'm not going to wait two years to get a diagnosis and find out I was right all along. I'll look into the suggestions that have been made here and give him some extra help at home. My dad, my brother and two brother-in-laws all learned to read very late but they all got there in the end, DS2 just needs a bit more help than he's getting in school.

DS2 managed to read his whole reading book to me yesterday, with hardly any errors. Then he told me how happy he was because he had heard it so many times he know it off by heart!

Ah yes the passing for reading by having a good memory. I remember my DS getting a good reading grade in his Key Stage 1 SATS because the book they used was one we had at home and I had read frequently to him and to his younger sister.
I would say that the signs you posted are quite indicative of dyslexia and you need to push now for assessment and appropriate support.

We had been saying to all the schools Ds was in since he was in reception that we thought he had dyslexic problems but he was only officially diagnosed in July this year end of year 10. We are going to pay for private tution otherwise he will fail English and possibly other GCSEs while getting A/A* in science/maths.