I cant cope anymore

[jenk1]

The last few days i have been wandering around the house in tears,not eating,not sleeping and definately not coping with the situation atm.

DH is at this moment seeing personnel at his work to ask them can he go on to part time hours for the next few weeks while we get something sorted for DS and get DD settled in nursery(she,s still not settling after 4 weeks)

Yesterday i was at the paeds and then DD had an asessment and it was just too much, i cant do all the appointments,chasing up,legal battles,cope with DS tantrums, do DD,s excercises all by myself, i feel awful on DH-he has a really good job and can probably kiss goodbye to any promotion for the forseable future.
He says if they say no to him he is resigning and looking for part time work but now my mum has just frightened me by saying if that happens we wont get any money off the social, surely we will with 2 kids and them both having special needs?

I just feel a complete failure.

Poor you, don't really know what to say but just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about you, sounds like a terrible situation. But you can cope, you are probably a lot stronger than you think.
(((((((HUGS)))))))

Sorry can't give any advice but wanted you to know your not alone.

Jenk, i'm sorry things are so tough on you at the moment. I have no experience of this and dont really know what to suggest. I do however know that if your dh resigns you wont be entitled to anything for a certain period of time, i'm not sure how long for though. Would you be able to get a care assisitant to help out from social services? A friend of mine had a girl from the local nneb course come to do her work experience to help her out when she had too much on her plate.

I'm sorry to hear that Jenk. I feel much the same as you and it's awful.

I've no idea about claiming benefits if your DH leaves his job. If his employers won't let him go part time for the next few weeks could he get his GP to sign him off sick? I wasn't coping a couple of years ago and our GP gave DP a 2 week certificate for 'family stress'.

Sorry if that's no help.

Oh Jenk :(

Sorry I can't help with the money/social side of things, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

I know how you feel. Are you associated with a Carers Association (I assume you are getting DLA and CA) who can help. They can take some of the load off you helping with chasing up information etc particularly with regard to your social benefits. Also social work should take some of the load off if you can't cope. Sorry I find it hard to keep up with the threads if you've already mentioned some of these things. You are certainly NOT a failure that is for sure there is only so much one person can do and you have to ask for help.

DH work have been really understanding, they say he can probably do part time for the next few weeks, they are having a meeting about it on Monday, so thats really good news

That's good news about DH work jenk Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time.

Great news - I hope you can sort some long-term extra help out for when he goes back full time. You must be exhausted.

i know it dosent matter now as it is sorted with your DH's employers but if he had resigned he would have been able to get benefits. i know this as my husband has just resigned from his job to enable him to help with caring for our son and he now claims CA and we are waiting for income support to come thru. We phoned the benefits help line and made sure this would be the case before he resigned as we didnt want to take the chance and end up struggling.

jenk1, so sorry things are so hard for you at the moment. How are you today? Good news about your DH going part-time for a couple of weeks

thanks for that graciefer that has helped knowing.

I am better today but i think thats because DH has been off for the last 2 days, im just so releived that work have let him do this as he was going to resign otherwise.

Thanks very much for all your kind words and support.

Glad things are better and it sounds like you have a fab DH. I hope things only get better from here. And Jenk, you are not a failure, far from it. You do an amazing job.

I'm sure you would still be able to get support from Soc Svs as they will be looking at your children's needs primarily. I don't know about benefits but I see someone else further down the thread does. You've had a lot to deal with, let's hope it gets better and your DH can work p/t.

im not getting carers allowance as i get IB instead and i didnt think that you could get both.

I dont know what to do about getting help from SS, do i just ring them, TBH ive always been frightened about getting SS involved, scared that they will think im being a bad parent or something especially now since the psychologist has recommended that i attend a parenting course, or maybe im just being paranoid its just that ive only ever heard bad things about SS.

If someone could help me understand id be really grateful

Jenk,
Jst read your message, and want you to know I'm thinking of you x

Hope the meeting at your DH's work goes well.

Don't know what SS do as we don't have them involved.

take care, hope yor gettign some rest now and htings start to seem brighter for you very very soon

emma xx

DH meeting at work went really well, they have given him until 28 Apr to do part time hours which means that he will be home for 10.15am every day .

Today being the first day, we all went swimming and then had some lunch and then i went to my social skills course while DH tidied the house!!!!!, and when i got home all i had to do was prepare and make tea and clean up, put washing away and DH put kids to bed.

I feel so calm, usually by now im ready to blow my top and so stressed.

happy you had a better day jenk1 xxx

Jenk, I think you MUST contact Soc Svs, you are mssing out on a whole area of support. Don't be scared of them, just phone (or email if poss as the date is on record) and ask for an assessment. They could be crap where you are or they could be great, you will never know until you contact them.