Anyone a parent of an adult with autism? Would you mind telling me a bit about their life please?

[redhappy]

I'm mother to ds 6 (ASD). I'm a lone parent and trying my best but to be honest this summer hols has been REALLY tough. I can see things getting to a point in the future where I can't cope. Ds is is only 6, but he's only going to get bigger and stronger, and there isn't anyone else here to deal with him.

I'm just trying to establish in my mind what that future might look like. Normally I go on the basis that te future is totally unknown, and just do the best I can for him now, and what will be will be. He's at mainstream school, aead in reading, behind in everything else, so would be classed as high functioning (speech delay but is slowly catching up).

At the moment I really want to have some real idea of what the options may be for us. If I can't cope, his dad certainly couldn't so he would need to go into care. Am I right in thinking that he wouldn't be severe enough to go into some sort of home/ supported living, so he would just go into ordiunary foster care? That would be disastrous for him!

It breaks my heart to even think of it, but to be honest I just feel like I really need to face up to it as a possibility.

I'd really appreciate hearing anyone else's experiences with this, or even just comments and suggestions .

Just reread and the post doesn't really match the title! Basically, I'd like to hear what happens in your kids lives as they get older. Do they live with you forever? Do they lead lives similar to their peers? Do they live in some sort of care arrangement?

Probably not the best person to answer but didn't want your post to be unanswered.

I think the answer is : it really depends on affected your ds is.
I know some people with asd who lead independent lives but obviously others don't.

When you talk about a soze issue, ate you saying that your ds can get physically aggressive and you don't think you will be able to cope?
My, very limited experience, is that children change !nd the challenges you have today might be different in a couple of years time.
What sort of help are you receiving atm?

Sorry yes, meant aggression. I'm quite petite so the day when he is stronger than me is not far away.

It's not a very positive and light thread, sorry. I normally try to be as positive as possible. I have no idea if he will be idenpendant or not. But I suppose I just want to hear what the possibilities are.

What kind of help do you mean?

annmemmott.org.uk/2010/04/a-day-in-the-life-of-ann/ Try that. I'm not at the mild end of the spectrum. I can't live independently - but I found ways round all of it, with the help of friends etc.

What makes a huge difference to us is ways to boost social contact (in ways we can cope with) e.g. pets, massage/touch therapy etc. It releases Oxytocin, which is the chemical that makes you brain connect with other people. The more we get of it, in safe ways, the more we learn to adapt. It's got to be stuff we can cope with, though, as so many of us have sensory processing difficulties, and unexpected touch can be very painful.

Can't guarantee any future in particular for any child, but we're getting good understanding of autism now and hearing so much more from adults like me who are in society and living lives that we love. Hope it helps a bit.

That's a really interesting insight, thankyou.

living lives that we love yes, this is all that really matters and normally I can cope by just remembering this.

Do you mind me asking who you do live with? Please ignore me if you don't want to answer that, obviously.

DH, DS (when not at Uni) and Dsis. We all support each other and have our own strengths, weaknesses and abilities...so it works as a group. DH and DS have various disabilities as well.