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Original poster

DD not been invited to 3 parties, all of which apparantly friends!!!

11 replies

butty · 15/03/2006 12:42

Ok, so now we have a DX of ODD, i am fine.

The problem is, this morning when dropping her off at school, one of the other mums asked what i was getting the kids for all these parties in the next few weeks????

i was gobsmacked as chloe has been invited to the one and yet another 4, she hasn't been invited to, bearing in mind that they have been through nursery and now school together.

They have all been a good circle of friends and i am good friends of the parents, who up until recently, used to speak to me and now they rarely do????

I know wehn friends come round to tea, which is less often these days, she could be quite a bully and now i fear she is losing friends at school because of itSad

I suppose i want to know if this is to do with her recent DX, as the doc did ask a lot about friends in general and her behaviour with them.

I now know why she came home upset the other day, when she said she hadn't been invited to olivia's party, but i said, "you will have been, have you left your invite at school??"

I really dont know what to do, as my once little sociable mite, seems to be turning friends against her!!!

Please can someone advise on what to do????

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
twokids · 15/03/2006 13:00

sorry can't give any advise but sorry to hear this:(

fairyjay · 15/03/2006 13:02

Can you invite some of her friends around on a one to one?

anniebear · 15/03/2006 13:04

Arrh, thats really sad for both of you

I agree, can you not invite some round one to one?

macwoozy · 15/03/2006 16:36

I didn't know how upsetting the subject of parties could be until it started to effect my ds, although admittingly it seems to upset me far more than it does him with regards to lack of invites.

Like the others have suggested could you perhaps invite one of her friends round instead, one at a time, I know it's not the same as having a party to go to, but at least she'll still be mixing socially with her classmates. It's so sad isn't it?Sad

FioFio · 15/03/2006 16:43

This reply has been deleted

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lars · 15/03/2006 16:51

Butty, I do understand as my ds did have a diagnoisis of O.D.D, lucky for him he didn't like going to parties anyway. My dd also wasn't invited to parties, I believe because of my ds as never had any problem before diagnoisis as ds was very young then. She was taunted about my ds's behaviour which didn't help.

I have learn't to be tough for me and my children. Surely she can find one good friend to invite around for tea. I wouldn't worry too much, you will find out who your true friends are. I have been at the school when invitations are given out and your child is completely excluded. I know it's upsetting but try not let it upset your dd or you. The party is just for one day, but I would be inclined to say to the parent if you know her very well, I am sorry if I am late in replying but i think my dd has lost her invitation. Make the parent feel bad, because to be honest she should know better especially if it's a friend of yours. larsxx

shimmy21 · 15/03/2006 16:58

I think this is really shitty on the part of the other mums (and dads). I insist my ds invite everyone in the class (or just all the boys) including the difficult to manage SN children. What message are they sending out to their own children if they let them leave out one person or other?

Having said that, could it be that these parties are small group things? (as they get older there are fewer big parties and far more trips or sleepovers with a small group of special friends.) Inevitably people get left out of these.

Have you mentioned dd's dx to the other parents? It's completely your own business but it may soften their attitudes to her if they understand that there is a reason for her difficulties.

MeerkatsUnite · 15/03/2006 17:13

"I have been at the school when invitations are given out and your child is completely excluded".

Can well empathise with this comment.

The worst instance I ever had happened in year one when a handed out invites to his birthday party. Everyone in that class got an invite except my son (at that time the only one in his year with a statement). Fortnately my son was not fully aware that these sheets were birthday invites.

I dealt with it by saying to myself, "it's their loss".

lars · 15/03/2006 18:40

I totally agree it does appear that it's always a ' statemented child ' that doesn't get the invite. That's what really annoys me how can some parents be so nasty, ok the child you can forgive but a parent who knows it's wrong is shameful! larsxx

twokids · 15/03/2006 18:55

so aggree lars

Original poster
butty · 17/03/2006 10:11

Thanks for all your messages.

I spoke to chloe yesterday about who she plays with at school, She got very upset saying that nobody likes her except X & Z.Sad

One mum has now told me that chloe has shouted and smacked 2 of the girls that she usually plays with because they wont play her gameShock

I will be inviting X round for tea next week, although i may add that X is quite a problamatic child, so it should be fun!!!!!!!!!

I have also had a word with the teacher to see if she can keep an eye on things for me as i dodn't want her coming home upset and feeling excluded from her peers as i fear that this will lead to more serious problems with time.

Thanks for your advise, i will let you know how the 1 2 1 goes!!!!

Butty.xxx

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