I just want to rock in a corner

[MsNobodyAgain]

The school holidays have me beat. I know it's not a competition but I'm a lone parent. DS (NT, 9). Twins, 7 (god, where do I start? So many problems. LDs, GDD, ASD, VI, one recently got over leukaemia). My ex is nowhere to be seen, and he's nuts anyway so I've had to take legal advice about banning him from seeing the children if he does reappear.

I'm tired. So tired.

I'm meant to be going out for a meal in 4 hours, for my birthday. I can't be arsed. The early mornings, the interrupted nights... I look like shit. I'm too thin. I am worried about money. It is likely that my DSs DLA will be downgraded from HRM to LRM so I have to buy a car instead of having a Motability one. How can I afford that?

I can't work because my twins need ongoing care.

I've asked for a new Social Worker (my old one retired). I'm back on anti-ds

I never thought parenthood would be this hard. Someone give me a kind word. Please. Or a kick up the backside. Either one is welcome.

One more week.

Nearly there.

Once they are back at school you can have a rest and recuperate, and then consider longer term issues re work/ car/ appeals etc.

But for the next week, you just need to get through it. If you don't want to go out, don't. Take yourself to bed. But maybe getting out would ease the cabin fever/ trapped feeling even for a few hours?

It doesn't feel right to say 'happy Birthday' when you are in the doldrums, but hope you find a way to give yourself a break for a few hours x

Thanks mad. I am just not sure how I can hold it together for the meal tonight. My sisters try to understand and they are lovely and help, but they have no idea what it is like living this 24/7.

One more week. Big deep breaths. Keep taking the pills.

Thanks for replying. x

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low at the moment, you certainly have a lot to cope with and some days it just all feels like too much. You can't think through what to do about one problem because there are half a dozen other urgent issues jockeying for position in your mind at the same time. I agree with madwoman, just do what you can to get through it for the next week - dvds, ready meals, read in bed or walks in the countryside if you feel up to going out with the kids. The problems will all still be there in a week but hopefully no worse by then? But you'll have a bit of much needed down-time once they are back to school.

Sending you some virtual chocs and and hoping you start to feel better soon.

Thanks. I am having a down day obviously. Now I have to feed the children. The ex is a constant worry, but I'll try and put that out of my head for tonight and enjoy a rare night out.

Thanks again, x

Well it's no wonder that you're feeling a bit down and stressed ! The light is at the end of the tunnel.As others have said,you will get time to rest.What about generally though?Do you have help/carers/direct payments,because it sounds a lot to deal with on your own. Glad you sound as though you're up for going out.Enjoy

Thanks both.

Yes, I have help, Carers, direct payments. In a way, that is what makes me feel more like a failure. I have so much help that other people don't have. It makes me feel ungrateful and pathetic. I'm lucky in comparison to many.

Oh no...I've made you feel worse.Even with help,they are still your responsibility 24/7.You have so much to deal with at the moment,you certainly don't sound like a failure !

into noooooooooooo!

I am perfectly able to have a pity party by myself.

You were rightly pointing out that Carers are entitled to certain benefits, etc. That's something I have done myself when other people have posted as they may not be aware of what entitlements they have.

Anyway. I've opened a bottle of white (my Mum is here, so no worries about the DCs). I am having a glass and going out. Sod it. Mum will stay over - even though I won't be drunk. Let the celebrations begin!

Fab.
Have a lovely escape for a few hours x

that's a relief.Enjoy...I'll join you in a gin