Aspergers - suggested reading?

[bookbird]

This is my second post on this board. I'm looking for some advice from all you lovely MNetters.

DS is 6 in December, just started P2 (yr 1 equiv) here in Scotland. He had a terrible year at school last year and this year is shaping up no better. He's lashing out at other children, struggling to make friends (socially awkward) refusing to write or sit still (he prefers standing).

Our house backs on to the school, last Friday, I witnessed his class out in the playground playing with balls and hula hoops. My DS was running about aimlessly shoving his fists towards the faces of other children. Whenever he got close to a group, they'd scatter to avoid him. It was heartbreaking to watch and prompted me to go to a local child psychology drop in service on Monday.

The psychologist spent an hour with me discussing my DS and she mentioned that he sounds to have Aspergers traits (I'm paraphrasing). We have already seen a paediatrician at a child development centre and she said he doesn't seem to present as on the AS in her opinion.

I'm just lost and looking for some advice on further reading. I've read a lot of stuff on the national Autistic Society (think that's right) web site, I'm now looking for some tips on what I should read next. I'm happy to buy books, but don't want to waste money on the wrong things.

I could say so much more, but this is a massively long post already. Thanks for bearing with the ramblings of a very worried Mum!

I would say if you have concerns about him then perhaps look at getting a proper assessment privately done by a child psych who will tell you whether or not he has Aspergers. I am sure other people will come and advise you about how this works in Scotland but it certainly helped us when we had concerns about ds.He was older,10, and had issues at school etc but at least once you have a diagnosis you are pointed in the right direction and can then go about getting the appropriate support/reading material etc.Otherwise,as you say, you end up wasting money on the wrong resources. Also as he is only 6,early intervention could be hugely beneficial for him.I wish we had spotted that ds had Aspergers at 6 but his symptoms did not really become apparent until later.Life might have been a lot easier for him if he had had early intervention from age 6.Good luck what ever you decide.

Firstly - in theory you need no outside assessment or diagnosis to get support at school, the system is set up do that if a child needs support over and above what would be expected, then they are considered to have an additional support need. That includes for behavioural, social and emotional support needs. In practice of course assessment and diagnosis usually makes schools act how they should be without it. But, they should be providing support if he's struggling.

You have the right to ask for an assessment for additional support needs, which is all about accessing support in school. You can also request medical assessment - that can be done through school or through your GP. When asking for medical assessment, it's best to focus on his difficulties rather than a specific potential diagnosis, though there's no harm at all in mentioning what's been said and what you are thinking.

Now that's all been said ( just wanted to make sure that was covered first, lol) Tony Attwood is pretty much your go to author for AS.

Thanks. School have now put some things in place. he's been removed from PE (60 children in Gym at one time seems to set him off) and will get "developmental PE" instead. He also starts play therapy next week and we've asked for OT input.

DH and I are on completely different pages. Up until now, he has been very against assessment. He wants DS to get the support he needs without a label. While this may be the ideal, I am far more inclined towards an assessment, if only for understanding and prep for the future. DH is slowly coming round to this.

Sorry, I should have said School have started to put support in place in my OP. Drip feed alert!

The information overload was just because far too often you get schools ignoring things for as long as they can so they don't have to provide support.

I think if there's something there to diagnose you're better doing it as early as you can, to make sure they get the right support and so you and DS can understand as much as possible - but, he's only 6 and if he's getting the support he needs there's no harm in giving your DH a bit of time to adjust.

Lots of people feel like your DH does when it's all new and worrying. My DP felt exactly like that - as soon as AS was raised as a possibility, I read up and could see DS, DP went into complete denial and was adamant that there was nothing wrong with him and that he was just DS and was fine. We were both right I suppose, lol, he has AS, but he's also just DS and he is fine.

That's exactly where we are tabula. DH thinks he's just emotionally immature, needs time, will grow out of if etc etc. Denial. Not helped by the fact that while there are some indicators of issues at home (he's very sensitive, doesn't like hand dryer noise etc). He is a completely different boy to the one at school.

This week the school were suggesting some kind of dimple cushion to help him sit still. DH and I looked at other in amazement that he'd need that - he doesn't fidget at all at home. They also asked if he was "clumsy" as he's very clumsy at school. Our answer - no, he's been riding his bike without stabilisers since just 5.

Our boy is a walking talking paradox!

Thanks for the Tony Attwood suggestion, I'll get on amazon today!

DS is completely different at home - it's not that his issues aren't there, they're just not as obvious because being at home suits him, being at school doesn't. Also he's my oldest, so there were lots of things I just didn't notice.

My DS is 16, his co-ordination is bad enough that he practically can't write - he had to use a computer and scribe for all his exams, he couldn't tie his shoe laces until he was 14. When the school first sent him for assessment he was 6 - I'd seen nothing at all with his co-ordination, he walked on time, he had his bike stabilisers off at 4, didn't fall over much, I couldn't see what else you'd want at that age, lol.

Very same story here in every way.Dh was very much against assessment and when I read up on AS I knew immediately it was ds.Also we noticed nothing much at home until school flagged it up-as tabulahrasa said,home just suited him really well compared to school.He had no probs at home with co-ordination,stabilisers off at 4 ish also ,walked on time etc.
He does now have the cushion at school as he was very much inclined to rock/fidget etc on and he finds this a great help.I would also recommend Tony Attwoods book which is the best one really.
As regards dh,we are still on completely different pages with ds also.I constantly read up/learn more/research etc about Aspergers whereas he never does.He takes on board everything I tell him,explain etc but its pretty much me who does all the arranging of supports etc.On balance its probably a good thing because whereas I am full-on watching out for things all the time,dh treats ds pretty much as he would if there was no issue at all so I think this is probably quite a good balance for ds.There was a thread a while back about this and it seemed that a lot of husbands were also like this.I think their simple brains just process this sort of thing much slower than our far superior ones.

Thanks Pennyanne, nice to hear I'm going through the same issues as others!

If you don't want to buy lots of books while you research then there is lots of information on the web.
you could start with some sites like these
National Autistic Society
oaasis.co.uk
your little professor
Ambitious about autism
general info
aspergers.com

Hi bookbird,

You could have been writing about my son who is exactly the same with his differing behaviour at school and at home. The props used in his new school (we changed his school in P4 (Northern Ireland) make a massive difference to him and he has a dimpled wedge seat and fiddle toys for his concentration make a MASSIVE difference. Like the penney said, my DH takes very little interest in the research and 'doing' about Asperger's but this does balance out as he treats him like a NT boy. I met Tony Attwood at a conference last year and listened to two of his lectures. He is SO passionate about his work and his book is a must.

thanks for the links alison, I'm going to be busy

It's one of those dimple wedges they are talking about shorley. If I'm honest, I feel so ignorant, I'm not even saying Aspergers properly alternating between hard g and soft. It is a j sound isn't it?

We've a long way to go, I really appreciate all of the advice!

Bookbird if you look up earlyinterventionscotland.org they might help with proper assesment, I've got the best experience with Ruth Glynn Owen who set it up and she's not as expensive as some other specialist psychologist.

bookbird you could have been writing about my DS also. He had a dreadful reception/Y1 at school, was DXed mild ASD/aspergers shortly before he turned 5. DH and I were both a bit in denial at the time - with hindsight, I can see how right the DX was. I think tabula sums it up well - he has AS, but he's still DS, and he's fine . We also had the situation of DS being like a totally different child at home and at school.

The 'labelling' thing is a tough one initially because at the end of the day no-one wants to feel their child is 'labelled'. Problem is, he'll get a label of sorts anyway - the naughty boy, the rough boy, the dreamboat, the lazy one etc etc. DH and I eventually figured out that at least the ASD label was one that bought a level of support and understanding for DS's issues and therefore worth having.

To answer your question I would agree with the Tony Attwood suggestions - in addition and based on our experience I would say push for OT support if you can - yes yes yes to the 'wobble cushion' and 'fiddly toys', for starters. Both really helped DS. Interestingly, as he matured, he began to need these less and less - towards the end of Y1 his teachers started to let him decide whether he needed the fiddle toy for assembly, for example, and by the beginning of Y2 he no longer needed either. DS's school also ran an in-school OT programme - 3 x 20min sessions per week focusing on gross and fine motor skills - which really helped.

For what it's worth, DS is now 8 and about to go into Y4 and many of the issues that were chronic during his first few years at school have simply evaporated with time and therapy and maturity. That's not to say we don't still have issues - we do - but DS is coping so much better with school, friendships, life in general than he was.

You summarise my thoughts exactly dietcoke. DS has already been labelled, I'd rather he had a label that brought a measure of understanding and support than be the class "bad boy". DH is slowly coming round to this.

DS was invited to a birthday today. I've just had to go and pick him up halfway through because he was hurting other children. I'm howling like a baby. I'm so worried about DS, he'll probably never be invited to another party again.

He's really upset too. Telling me he can't help it. This is so hard

Oh bookbird, I know exactly how you must feel...been there too.
It really is awful when this happens, and the worst part is when DS states he doesn't know why he does it/can't help it, etc.
But I do totally agree about the label thing. Am much happier having DS labelled Autistic rather than just naughty.
All you can do is keep moving forward with a dx as the support offered afterwards is good.

Hi Bookbird whereabouts in Scotland are you? There's a nice peer support group meets up on Monday afternoons at the Yard Adventure Playground in Ed.

My top read is Robert Schramm 'Motivation and Reinforcement' (expensive but I found it enormously useful)
You should be able to get Tony Attwood from the public library.
The Out of Sync Child is an interesting book about sensory processing disorders.
I also like Steve Biddulph, Raising Boys and Sue Palmer, 21st Century Boys

Sorry you've had a rubbish day, hope this week pans out better for you.

I'm in Glasgow oodles, but thank you. thanks for the further reading suggestions, i'm going to visit the library at the weekend to try and borrow a couple of the suggestions before committing to buying. I've now read a couple of things that says Tony Attwood has quite a negative slant, don't think I'm totally ready for that yet .

I'm also working my way through the links alison provided. You're keeping me busy, thanks for all the suggestions and support, you've all been really helpful.

We've got the ASD diagnosis consent form in now. We're going to sign it and return it before DH changes his mind.