Where do you see your DC living as an adult?

[Lougle]

Hard conversation with one of DD1's carers today. She said that DD1 is always going to need supported living (I knew that) but that I'd be silly to look after her myself. That I should allow her to go into whatever care she needs and just continue to be her mother as an adult, not her carer.

I didn't think of it, tbh. Assumed she'd live with us as an adult. DH agrees with the carer.

What do you see for the future, for your DC? (I don't find this an easy subject. Does anyone, though?)

wetaugust I think you and your son are very lucky My ds is 14 Deafblind CP epilepsy unable to sit up etc we must think for his future. Sadly no uni, no job, no girl friend, incontinent. Many of us are in this situation. But I would be so proud if your son was mine.

Forgot also he is totally tube fed.

Yes, I know there are many on here with DC with severe problems, which is why I said at the start of my post that, if I was in the situation of their parents I would worry about the future.

But when I was told back in 2005 that son would be unable to live independently, I was one of those parents justifiably terrfied of the future.

What I was trying to say was that with ASD you can be very surprised at how positive the outcome can be compared to the prognosis delivered by professionals many years ago.

I would hope for the best for both of them. Dd1 I can see living away from me but not far, holding down a job that requires little social skills (she wants to be an artist). Dd2 I have no clue. All I know is I'm grateful for all the little things and the fact we in some ways have a choice, others aren't so lucky

Fatbottomedmavis ( at your name..) hang in there.. honestly he may well surprise you yet.
DS2 had.. hypotonia, hyperflexibility, delayed visual maturation, global delays, bla bla bla.. no speech til 5, extremely late physically...

now 15 and talks the hind leg off a donkey :D If he sits before 2 he stands a decent change of walking (according to my son's physio) We never thought DS2 would talk or walk.. he does all that and more.. and while he is always going to be disabled he is a lot more independent than we dreamed.

I still remember that awful awful wall of depression so well.. and wish I could go back 13 years and tell myself it wouldn't be as scary as I feared! Mostly because you live it one day at a time and the insurmountable becomes, well just 'ok let's deal' Hang in there....

At the moment I can only think if of the next step. We can only save as much as we can save, and all we can do is help ds in the here and now.

He is so young, and we really have no idea what the future holds for him or how he is going to develop.

perceptionreality Like you can't face thinking about it would rather they were with me,
Mind you ATOS may insist she looks for work like my DD despite having the capability of a 7yr old + complex health needs (sorry another thread)