High school - social skills help

[yanny]

Dd is 12 and started high school 2 weeks ago. Awaiting another multi disciplinary ASD assessment (up a tier) as previous outcome was complex - further in depth assessment needed. Has difficulties with non verbal communication (NVLD) and sensory processing disorder.

I know its early days but she is eating lunch alone and outside at break & lunch alone too. Not every day but mostly. She feels she doesn't fit in and is very emotional. When anxiety levels increase so do the sensory issue. Any tips? She is unhappy and withdrawn. I've asked about social skills group/class at high school but there isn't anything like that. Any advice appreciated

Do they have or could they set up a safe haven for lunch times and break, where Dc's with SN's can go to chill, maybe read or go on the computer or just wind down.

Lots of secondarys have them as the unstructured times are the most difficult. If they havent got a social skills group maybe its time they started one

You may need to apply some pressure, Good luck

Thanks I've been asking for help with her social skills for a few years. Primary didn't have anything like that either. She has met a few girls with some shared interests which is great but she just doesn't know how to establish new friendships and is unsure of social etiquette and getting things wrong.

The school DS goes to has a lunchtime 'club' in the learning skills dept. They do have a large SN dept, though, but it works very well for DS. Some of the TAs run it, and DS has made some friends there. I hope you can persuade your DD's school to set up something. Perhaps mention 'best practice?'

Lots of high schools have the 'base' style rooms that EllenJane mentioned, they have an assortment of names because nobody really knows what to call them DS (ASD) is going to be signposted to there for lunchtime and break when he starts high school next week.
Definitely nag mention it to the SENCO. Highlight all the difficulties (and potential issues, so they're prepared!) I'm a bit concerned about being "that parent" as my ds hasn't even got there yet but sod it. we need to get our dcs needs met. If they do that, we'll be more likely to shut up eventually

Thanks for the replies

Ellen are there any other key phrases I could use too? I can think of some choice ones but they won't help . Going to email the support teacher today (equivalent of Senco I think).

MrsShrek I was 'that' parent at primary and was really hoping for better relations this time around. I assumed that said support teacher would be understanding as she has a Masters in autism, however she had a brief chat with dd yesterday and I'm not filled with confidence.

When asked if there was anything she finds very difficult dd said its too busy/noisy in the halls/on the bus and she hates being bumped into. Teacher says 'You'll get used to it'

Oh dear, thats not very helpful.

She will adapt to a degree but its not going to happen without support!

What is her form teacher like or head of year, maybe you could get them onside.

" You'll get used to it"
Ffs !
There is a base at ds's school but ds doesn't use it because he says it's noisy and some of the kids aren't nice.
At his school, kids with asd seem to have gravitated towards the library and are encouraged to use it as an unofficial base . I think it's probably the lull of the computers tbh.. But it has helped him find boys and girls with similar interests... And he has found his ' group' ( wouldn't call them friends ). It took a few weeks though for him to gravitate there. The senco kept mentioning it and so did we.. And then eventually the senco sent a TA to actually walk him through the door at lunchtime. That was all he needed.
A lot of schools are now running social skills groups . Ds and a friend help run one for younger kids down the school. Is there a parent forum at your girls school? Or parent coffee mornings? The social skills groups were pushed forward at these.
Does your girl have a main TA that you can send messages to in her planner? It's still early days... But it sounds like she needs a bit more hands on atm.
I hope it settles soon for your girl

Fingers crossed things will settle eventually. I've spoken with the support teacher at transition meetings at primary twice. She is aware of her difficulties and the ISP (Scotland) from primary went with her to high school. It's not a legal requirement to follow it so this in itself is just a case of hoping they take on board what helps and what is essential for her to learn

I got an email today from support teacher to let me know dd will be seeing her for a period a week for the next 6 weeks. With no reason why, although I guess its to check in with her. Will email to clarify and ask what support she can offer.

Thanks