Langauge Disorder in 4 YO son - does it improve?

[lollystix]

I'm feeling down about DS2's speech progress. I find myself getting frustrated and cross and try so hard not to let him see as he's such a sensitive wee soul.

So history is that I spent between age 2-3 harrassing HV that DS2's speech was not developing. Got 4 (useless) SALT sessions and told formal assesment would come age 3.5. We left the country at that point so they canceled and gave me a half hour review of him where they said he had delay and I needed to pick up overseas.

I did immediately and had assesment done privately with 6 sessions of therapy. They said he had delay but was on the bottom of the scale for being 'within the bounds of normal' (90 when the scale ranges from 85-110 for normal). So we're making slow progress but I actually think he has 'disorder' rather than 'delay' in both receptive and expressive area (slightly more expressive I think). I'm aware he starts school in a year and sometimes he just seems in a world of his own - I'm worried how he will cope. I don't think he is autistic as he doesn't seem to match other criteria. He has also started moving his jaw in a very odd way - to the side. Nursery think he's fine (both UK and nursery here but I'm not sure if they are just not very interested). He's into music, puzzles, computers and is all age approrpriate there - left handed which causes some problems for him right handed world but he is shy and softly spoken so hard to hear.

I'm seeing GP this week - not sure what services I can access as I'm a foreigner here. Just feel sad and worried about his prospects. I also work full time so will find fitting in therapy hard (although I know I must) and I sometimes beat myself up that I did VBAC and he got in distress and had a knotted cord so has this caused his issues? I even ordered full birth report before leaving UK but this showed positive oxygenation and agphars.

Sorry - moan over - feel I'm not sure how to best help him.

Yes, but not by itself, and rarely with input from services. YOU need to become an expert and get cracking. As scary as that might sound atm, - it is actually very empowering.

You lost years in the early years chasing provision (as did most of us) that if/when it ever materialises is variable and inconsistent.

I would recommend one of the Hanen books - either More than Words (which we used with great effect) and It Takes Two To Talk (which others on here have used and recommend).

Simple sentences
Slow delivery
Clear expectations
Helpful routines
Positive reinforce the good
Pictures to help understanding
Preteaching vocabulary
Role playing interaction
Extra reading support
Reduce background noise and fuss
Boundaries
Some non verbal activities he can relax in

Zzz, that is a brilliantly succinct and helpful list.

I know Zzzzz.

I used to buy books, thinking that action alone would 'cure' my ds.

Then when that didn't work, I read them, hoping that that would bring a cure.

The day I realised I had to change my whole life starting in small steps and building it back up again in a way that would scafold ds' engagement with the world was the day ds started to actually make some progress.

It's VERY stressful knowing that, and knowing that most of the progress will be down to you, and subseqently non-progress if you do nothing..........

I never feel I have done enough, quick enough, but I guess that would be the same for everyone here.

Thanks Ladies - is progress being frustratingly slow common? For example he/she is one of our big issues. We had 4 speech therapy sessions on this and I constantly look for opportunities to say 'she' but he still says ' 'he brushes his hair' or 'lady brushes hair' despite fact he can see its a female. He just doesn't seem to 'get' this rule.

I do simple and clear, ESP with instructions and reward positive with 'great talking'. I'm constantly modelling ie yesterday's was 'is fairy not coming?' at me constantly and I kept saying 'DS - we say 'IS fairy coming? No SHE isn't - is this right thing? TBH all Speech therapists I have seen is nothing that I don't do myself and at £45 for 30 minutes I'm not sure how much of that I can afford.

I like role play idea-pre teach vocab? You mean go through picture books and learn items - last night we were doing Thomas early words and things like Stream, field, fox, clown etc?

I am worried his school will sit him at back and ignore him if my experience of his current school is consistent. They are a very academic, formal school with little pupil engagement from what I've seen with DS1 but talking has always been a major strength of his so he copes with no issues.

Starlight - what did you do to 'scaffold' his life - can you give me so key tips and examples?

Yes! Some concepts may click with what feels like little effort by your/your child, others may take months and months to iron out. I know it took several months at least for my DS to consistently get he/she correct.

In terms of the private SALT - I agree with you. IMe it is better to see a SALT you trust a few times a year for review/goal setting, with you doing the day to day grind.

He/She is very tough tbh.

But you also need to know that he has the pre-skills.

Does he even know the difference between boy and girl? And if so, can he distinguish with pictures/objects/real life people? Because, if he finds gender identification difficult, then it will be impossible for him to make any sense of the he/she rule.

Also, why should he? I mean, if he says the wrong one you understand him anyway. He gets what he has asked for, either feedback, an answer or object etc. Why on earth would he put the extra effort in to get it right? Why would he even care?

You need to make life a little bit harder for him if he has said the wrong one. With ds I had strategies like just not understanding him, to giving him what he wanted but only after I had corrected him, we'd said it together and then he said it on his own. If you are consistent with that, then eventually he finds the easier and faster path to what he wants is to think first and try and get it right the first time.

Lots of things we would do, had some element of planning in it to increase the chances of ds learning something. I always had to push myself and undo habbits of 'just doing it myself because it is quicker/less meltdows (my own as well as ds' coz our kids can be SO frustrating)' and once making a decision that ds will do something himself from now on, - absolutely sticking to it, even if it makes us late somewhere iyswim.

So, - that kind of thing.

And yes, - I would be less worried overall about pronouns at this stage until you are further alone. You don't want him to just give up interacting because he finds it hard.

Hi Lolly, we are dealing with similar language issues. Ds has just been diagnosed with pragmatic language disorder and rec/exp language delays. We have been given a pack called black sheep which i think is part of language steps. It is dealing with in/on/under and he/she.

We have to over-teach everything which does get very frustrating but DS does have small leaps forwards. Our biggest issues have been getting him to use the correct language in the real world rather than looking at the same pictures repeatedly. Most language assessments are picture based which confuses everything as he is very visual and he picks up on key words so appears to be quite good as some tests.

It has taken us over 4 years and 3 different NHS S&lts to work out what is going so wrong with DS use of language.

It might be worth asking your S&lt about the pack. Ours came with a simple to follow instruction guide.

Thanks again. Salts in the uk have been really unhelpful tbh. Just said 'read to him with a slow voice' - I was doing all that stuff before. Here was better but I've has to pay. She gave me he/ she games and some homework items.

He she is a funny one. My teacher friend said - why would he understand she?-he has 3 brothers so everyone is he in your house

Around the same age as working on he/she I remember starting working on questions, the "wh" words with him - why and how are the hardest, last ones of the question words to nail. there is a US website, SuperDuper inc that has v good handouts on SALT stuff, you have to register, but it's free and they don't spam you or anything, I got a good info sheet from there on teaching the question words.

Thanks light passenger.

Just another thing. His voice is very soft and quite squeaky. Do you have this with yours? My other two have very loud, shouts voices and often shout over him whilst he's trying to say something. I'm constantly having to tell them to be quiet to let him speak.