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had community paed appointment last week

12 replies

drypond · 29/08/2012 09:40

its the 3rd time ds as been seen by the community paed, last 2 times they fobbed me off this time saying he was too young, its just speech delay which is putting other stuff abt behind and hes getting frustrated. ds (3.8) this time went in he refused to do any tasks for the paed, the paed gave him some wooden blocks to play with just to keep him happy tbh and he sat for a while lining them up, paed asked him to copy a bridge but he refused, the only task he did do was a book one he was shown a pictures 1 was of a girl washing a car and he asked him what is she doing? ds said washing the car, then he was why and ds replied because its dirty he couldn't tell a story from 4 pictures put together (dont know what the task is called)

paed as taken nearly everything from what i said he can and can't do in the apointment ds ran off :( luckily my friend was waiting outside and grabbed him for me but now he as said he is waiting on what ds's new school says but at the caf ds will have only done 1 full week of half days there and im worried they are going to say no concerns (like his last school) the paed said if school have concerns over behaviour then ds will be refered to a disability team? (instead of cahms i think!) but if hes good at school then it looks like we will get no help!! ds can be a real handful, his tantrums are epic if i tell him off when out he runs out into roads so is still on reins/pushchair... he can be violent, he throws stuff he hit me infront of the paed :(

paed as said he doesn't fit classic autism because his eye contact is good, he is affectionate to me but ds is very routine led,lines stuff up and has obsessions and his play/social skills are behind but getting there, his language is still not 100% its quite immature still but the stuff he talks about is beyond his years. the paed said at 5/6 years they can test for adhd and autism (im guessing higher end) but its all depending on the school and what they say and i just feel like im going to be made out to be a liar or something

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StarlightMcKenzie · 29/08/2012 14:57

I'd get a second opinion tbh

Vagaceratops · 29/08/2012 14:58

I agree - second opinion.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/08/2012 14:59

my DD has quite severe autism and is affectionate to me and has eye contact, I would also agree that you should get a second opinion.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/08/2012 15:00

There is surprising ignorance out there..a neurologist told us DD could not have autism as she "had facial expressions" Hmm

TheLightPassenger · 29/08/2012 15:34

Agree with the others, sounds like you are being fobbed off, unfortunately, and paed is sticking head in the sand over behaviour, as he surely could see the behaviour issues given what you have described!

drypond · 30/08/2012 05:31

the paed said there was clearly behaviour issues so he's seen it, but its like hes saying unless school say he has too we wont get help... helpful hv as tried getting him referred to another community paed, it seems common where i live to wait till children are 5/6 before they do a thing :(

do i go to the gp for the 2nd opinion?

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Walter4 · 30/08/2012 06:58

I honestly feel horrified at how ignorant these so called professionals can be. Before my son got his diagnosis I was seen by a private clinical psychologist , she said he needed " extreeme parenting!!" not autistic but very bright . Then child development pead spent 5 mins with him in the corridor, he had refused to come in, said he was not autisic! I was so angry with her that I said that when he was excluded once at school , I would be back demanding every support they had! She wrote a report stating she thought he was autistic/ PDA and referred him on to the next level... That was a year ago, still waiting!
I took matters into my own hands and went privately to the Elizabeth Newson centre, they were amazing . He now has a diagnosis of PDA aged 4 !

What I'm trying to say is that, if you believe you're son has issues, whether or not school see them and they often don't , keep trying ,you will get there .

You're son is also very young , I found that since he turned 4 things have become much more obvious to others. Video him, write a behaviour diary , reports from family members anything , and put it all in front of them.

Wish it was easier, it should be. He is you're son, you are the expert on him, we have to believe in ourselves . Good luck.

drypond · 30/08/2012 10:27

i'm just fed up of battling for every scrap of help, i've had to battle for his SALT, hes progressed so much with his speech it upsets me to think they where willing to leave him till he was almost 5! i cant afford anything private without getting a loan this paeds exact words "hes too young to be sent for tests yet, we can't be throwing diagnosis's around"

im hoping re doing the parenting class/ webster stratton will help abit now hes older and has more understanding only thing is ds doesnt respond to rewards or anything, he responds best to visual things with a start and finish...so might be a total waste of time but feel like i should be doing something

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StarlightMcKenzie · 30/08/2012 11:29

Have you got the schramm book?

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/08/2012 11:33

The thing is, where I got the dx, paeds were reluctant to give them because it didn't help anyone. It's pretty much 'yes, your ds has autism, no, no-one will help you until you've been in the school system for your child to be a problem to THEM - bye'.

So, I suppose they may as well wait until such time before they give the diagnosis.

EXCEPT, that when a child is 6/7, then additional investigations need to be done because the history is more complex. Those additional investigations cost a hellova lot of money but keep people in their public sector jobs I suppose. No need for CAHMS if the child's needs were identified early and addressed is there?

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/08/2012 11:34

What rewards are you trying to get him to respond to?

You're idea of what is rewarding, is unlikely to be his idea. DS will do ANYTHING for 2 minutes with a tape measure.

drypond · 31/08/2012 11:04

thankyou..i dont have the book so i'll have a look, i dont necessarily want a dx for ds i just need the help for his behaviour iykwim, with rewards not sure if i've done the right thing but he is obsessed with sea life, octonauts, ect and i try make rewards linked to that, ds loves going to a certain pet shop with fish and gets very excited there but if i use it as a reward or goal he just convinces himself he doesn't like fish anymore ect.

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