i am putting DD on a train to London. am I insane or sensible?

[SheelaNeGig]

She's 14. Aspergers and, i think, perfectly capable. She'd be met the other end. No changes.

She's a bit anxious but keen. I think it will be ok but the what-ifs are starting to churn a little.

OK or insanity?

How long is the journey, and will she have a seat? Is her ticket accessible?
Has she made this journey with company before?
Does she have headphones, or a DS or something to distract her?
Does she know exactly what to do when she gets to the station, once she's off the train, where will she stand to be met?
FWIW, both of my two have taken train journeys alone when they were 14+, including to London and nothing has ever gone wrong.

Fine, so long as the journey isn't so long she gets chance to panic.

About 2 hours. She'd get a seat as it starts at station a where she'd get on. Done the same trip many times.

Shes a bit worried about getting the right ticket (its a buy on the train from the conductor type train) but i can write it down.

I'm not being desperately irresponsible then. (visions of daily wail headlines)

Write it on a card, does she have a mobile? Has she got a drink and a snack?

No, mine is 17 with Asperger's and this is the beginning of helping them live independently in the world. It is terrifying as a parent, but necessary.

Expedition is tomorrow. Will get her snack, drink etc. She has phone, headphones, music etc.

She needs to know she can do this, and to phone or text you if she's uncomfortable or just wants a chat, but as I said, my children have done this often with varying levels of support and all has been well.
Just for curiosity, which London station? Our usuals are Victoria and Paddington.

Paddington.

She'll be fine. I'm all of a wibble.

Welcome to my world!

Hi, Sheela,
Can I just add some more support? Your dd sounds as though she will be fine. You have thought about everything.
I put my ds on train when he was 13, on a familiar journey etc. he is 17 now (AS)

Does she hav/need any 'please be patient xyz cards?' My dd has ADHD and is only 8 but we found making up cards that say ' please be patient it may take me a bit longer to think' are very helpful in situations like this

Last week my 13 year old daughter with ADHD, her older sister 14 who has speech and lang (mainly the lang side of things now) ASD and showing signs of Tourettes and her sister's friend who is also 13 went to the Natural History Museum all by them sides via the tube (toke about 40 mins - 1hr).

Then a couple of days later just my girls went to the London Bridge, they wanted to go to the London Dungeon (got turned away at the door due to age - so nice of the Dungeon web site to hide their age criteria in the faq) . To get there they had to take two tubes. They got there fine, they had a slight niggle on the way back but heard the tube driver announcement "get off here if you want to go to ........"

I am really proud of them. Either trip were not familiar so your daughter will be fine. I had to as they were getting older and my 13 year old had been nagging me for ages to let her go in to London.

You could put a tracking app on her phone. My whole family including me has Cerberus on our phones.

It is always nerwracking (for the parents) the 1st time. I'm sure she'll be fine - she can always ring you of there is a problem.

DS caught the train by himself last year (had just turned 15, HF ASD) to Crewe. He had been on the train a few times to London (via Crewe) but always with a pre-bought ticket and changing trains at Crewe. On his solo journey, he had to get on at a 'request' stop, buy a ticket on the train, and find his way out of Crewe station at the other end to be met. He coped fine I was a nervous wreck, especially panicking aout how he would cope if the guard refused to believe he only needed a child's ticket (as he is very tall)

So the gread expedition is today.

She's fine.

I'm a bit eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek and what-if what-if what-if..

She will be fine, but I expect an update when she gets there, so we can all smile.
She has a phone, if there is a what if she will ring you and ask what to do.

Yes, please update with how well she did, as I am sure she will be very pleased with herself. DS2 is 6yo and I can't let him go to the other room by himself, so this type of thing just seems unimaginable to me.

Best of luck - I imagine you are going to spend the day on tenterhooks.

Hurrah!

She got there and has been met. PHEW!!!!!

Some kerfuffle with ticket but hopefully can be sorted out the other end.

Oh wonderful!! You can breathe now...

Well done to her!

Have been lurking with my heart in my mouth! (DS2 is 13 and not ready for this yet!) So glad it worked. Next time will be easier.

Only just seen this. I remember the first times I got the train by myself, at 19. My eyesight means negotiating complicated stations takes a bit longer and I like to know how many stops to my destination etc.

I've never been denied help when I've needed it :)

I don't like Crewe station though, too confusing! I ended up there after going to the platform my train from Manchester to home usually goes from. Get on, first stop is correct, 2nd one, uh oh, I've gone wrong. Got off at the next one, Crewe. Good thing I did or I'd have ended up in London! Cue my lovely mother logging onto National Rail and texting me the time and platform of the next train home.

Great!

She's on her way back!!!!!!

Well done to DD and especially to you... it's very hard to take that big leap and let them start being independant but it HAS to be done x

Big success. She's v pleased with herself.