Ideas to help with DD (6) meltdowns in public please..

[Exogenesis]

DD has AS and at the moment everytime we go out it ends with a meltdown. DD screams, kicks, hits, runs off ect. I try and manage them the best I can but, I need ideas. She hates people looking at her and unfortunatly whilst she is in full blown meltdown people look. I try and ask them not to saying she has AS and you looking is not helping but, well I'm trying to deal with DD and remain calm. I'm not explaining myself very well am I? Sorry. What I'm asking I guess is for ideas on how to best manage her meltdowns when out and about. I try to keep her calm and avoid triggers but, sometimes it seems to be over nothing (That I can figure out) She is getting to big to pick up really but, at the moment It seems the easiest option to pick her up and move her to a calmer space and try and calm her down. HELP! And sorry if this is poorly written...

I have 2 main strategies,

1, Dont go to places where Dd3 gets stressy
and
2, Leave very rapidly when things start to go pear shaped.

Sorry no help at all but will watch with interest.

Dd3 is 9 and has ASD BTW.

Good luck

Thanks, I do follow the above rules to a point but, she just goes sometimes!

This may sound trite. I have a 6yo DD with unconfirmed ASD but as she is so similar to confirmed DS I have resigned myself to it. His strategies work with her.
I have had enormous lying-on-the-ground, kicking mum, screaming tears tantrums...almost always in public.

1. I ignore everyone except her, I used to get stressed but it made the whole thing worse.
2. 'How to talk so kids will listen' was a godsend with her. She cant tell me that she is feeling overwhelmed but my saying it seems to help her deal with it.
3. I watch for triggers everywhere, not always successfully.
4. I get down to her level (on my knees on supermarket floor, carpark etc)and keep talking to here and stay with her till she calms enough for us all to escape

Hope some of that gives you an idea.

Thank you Porridge I know I need to stop worrying about everyone else it is just so annoying with the tutting and stares of people when I know they are making things worse for her. I'll try going down to her rather than picking her up, it sounds like a good idea and I will try anything. She gets so upset afterwards which is I Understand. Poor lamb is wiped out after and is always full of sorrys, lots of hugs and social stories after works to help her after.

We have this often in public and a lot at home too. It is not always the immediate obvious thing that causes a meltdown like you discribe. I find it's the background anxiety I need to be aware of, if my son has had possibly a little less sleep, been out too long, even had too much of a nice time, school, is with another child,something exciting coming up.... What I'm trying to say is, that it's not always clear what the trigger is and that if she has some anxiety build up she might meltdown over absolutely nothing!

When this happens in public , like you , I am calm. Keep what i say short and consise and stay strong , calm , and try to verbalise his feelings to him. I find that although my son is only 4, when I make him realise I'm not angry, I know how he feels. He often dissolves into tears and the meltdown ends.
The other thing( you may not want to do this) is I always carry something sweet that is is not often allowed as a distraction it often helps , especially if the meltdown is somewhere dangerous like near a road. When he gets into a state he often heeds to eat after even if he does not take it during!

This is what I do, often it helps, just as often it doesn't!! Some ideas, hope they are of some use to you.