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Original poster

Just spent a sad hour

17 replies

PeachyClair · 13/03/2006 21:58

Just spent a sad hour listing all ds1's problems in aletter to Ed Psych. School suposed tor efer, but told me Friday they can't (should inser be bothereed here) and I should do the letter which they will send on. Apaprently, despite him being on school action and me being dragged in weekly for a while for problems, and his one play date going so bad ly two weeks ago the chils is scared to go near him in school- oh yes and the barking she admits to hearing- she hasn't noticed anything.

I am dealing with idiots, i really am!

It took two pages but i made sure I inserted a paragrapho on how much we love ds and his positive side too, just felt so disloyal to the little man Sad. Shouldn't have to be for me to do, bad enough at dx appointments when we have to list 'problems'. Why can't we list bonuses too?

OP posts:
fastasleep · 13/03/2006 22:00

Aww that's not fair Sad must be really upsetting having to list 'bad' things about someone you love unconditionally...

I really hope you get the help you need for him!

Cristina7 · 13/03/2006 22:03

We let our son's DLA lapse for nearly 2 years now because we couldn't face writing all that negative stuff again in our application.

I hope your DS1 gets the help he needs.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 13/03/2006 22:04

It takes a LOT to make me cry and this managed it.

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gothicmama · 13/03/2006 22:06

write aletter to yourself with all the positives

fastasleep · 13/03/2006 22:07

Bet it would be a gigantic letter Grin

busybusybee · 13/03/2006 22:08

I did this for our ds two weeks ago PC. I agree it was utterly horrible.

My list was for a letter to explain to my mum what the doc thinks may be ds problem (becuase I wasnt brave enough to tell her on the telephone)

Her response was "Well I think, he will be fine", which bizarrely really annoyed me because he is really difficult most days. It certainly isnt "fine" for us ATM.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 13/03/2006 22:15

Thanks all. Just Sad and Angry. DS2 was injured a few times this weekend (black eye and bite) as it was dh's birthday and the routine changed, and we are back to 4 hours sleep at the moment as a result. I need to focus my energy on getting through this, not organising lazy ba$%^rds. Sorry, bit angry Blush

Thing is, he can begreat. He's cleared up the carpet for me tonight after ds3 tipped all his milk powder over, without being asked, just because he could see I was upset. little love.

Not as if I am after a lot- just for him to make a friend or two, learn to read.

I have been invited out with the local lib dems next week and they want my opinion on sn provision around here (as wella s a meal out / trip to the new Cardiff senate however it is spelled). I shall have a few points to make! Dh think when I do my PGCE I should speicalise in SN- says it would be good to have one operson know what it's like.

OP posts:
fastasleep · 13/03/2006 22:17

Oh peachy Sad

coppertop · 13/03/2006 22:17

Similar situation to Cristina. Ds1 was 5 almost a year ago but I still haven't claimed the mobility component of DLA for him because of all the negativity required.

If it helps you could always start a "Positive things about my child" thread on here. :)

busybusybee · 13/03/2006 22:18

Thats exactly it PC - People dont understand what it is like

coppertop · 13/03/2006 22:19

Missed your last post. Poor you - and ds2. :(

rummum · 13/03/2006 22:31

sorry your feeling low Peachyclair...
why can't the school refer!!! did they give a reason!

eidsvold · 14/03/2006 01:04

write the positives on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere safe..... then when things look like getting on top of you - pull it out and read it through. I have thought about doing a little book that I can note things in that dd1's has done that have made me smile or were fab - for me to refer back to when I am feeling bad/sad.

You know we have to be sooo negative or they think everything is fine and there is no need to provide services.

Go to the lib/dem thing and seriously think about doing your pgce in special ed. I am a high school trained teacher BUT am doing to do my masters in early childhood sn - dd1 being the motivation - and the other kids I see at her special ed unit.

anniebear · 14/03/2006 07:06

sorry you feel so down

I agree, write a list of positives

Original poster
PeachyClair · 14/03/2006 16:56

I have spoken to my Lecturer and I have two options: either aim straight for special ed, or (and this is my preferred) do my RE PGCE but then an MA in Autism, which they do at caerleon. I'd rather work within the mainstream, that seems to be where the support is lacking.

She will fix me up with opportunities to visit both next semester.

Sam didn't stay at school today- it took me and a student teacher to get him in at all, then when I popped back after squash duty (don't even start me on them feeding them squash...) he said he was ill, I decided to take him home and do lots of cuddles, nd as DS3 at childminders, 1 on 1. The senco popped in this afternoon and we chatted, she understands a lot more (actually useful) and she thought i did the right thing taking him home.

Thanks for all your support guys. I know I'm tired which doesn't help, but last few nights have been anightmare and dh has been at woek on shift so it gets a bit much sometimes.

I managed btw to completely leave the bit out of the letter about losing our deposit on our last house because ds1 lost his temper and kicked a hole in a wall, but remembered to put when he shop lifted matches Sad Sad

Tonight, I am going to do a loving scrapbook page of Sam, so he can take it into show and tell on riday. Grin. Did one for s2 last week, a lovely way of telling the worls I love them.

OP posts:
mixedemotions123 · 15/03/2006 06:40

I think that you need to keep reminding yourself that the reason you are having to go through this IS BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM! I have just finished doing my parents report towards my sons assessment for a statement. It is so hard as you say, because you feel that you are being disloyal to them, and that you have lost sense of what they can do well, only commenting on their"faliures", but its only because we all love our kids so much that it has to be done. If we don't look out for them, who will. Sorry, just wanted to say that I feel for youSad

Original poster
PeachyClair · 15/03/2006 14:34

Thanks.

I have also had a form from OT, they want me to list 3 positive things too- which is good- but like you say, that was hard because much as I love him and enjoy I have lost sight of the specifics!!!!!

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