Friend struggling with DD - how can I support her?

[FishfingersAreOK]

Hi
Never posted here before, but I have a very close friend who has a DD (7yo) and DS (3yo). DD has special educational needs - has been statemented - no specific diagnosis but has global delay genetic/chromosome issue.
Friend has been really struggling with DD over the holidays - DD very needy - cannot entertain herself, needs lots of support, entertainment and not listening at all to friend.
Friend has been at her wits end, at the end of her tether. In tears and admitted to me today she does at time hate her DD. I comforted her and tried to offer sympathy and not to "solve" the issue (her DH had tried to solve it but think friend just needed a hug).
What can I do to help support her? Can you help advise me if I would be best trying to find practical solutions for her. Or should I remain an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. Organise a night out to get away? Or suggest support websites. Which kind of help would be best.

(BTW she has had depression and had counselling/anti-depressants in the past - think this is largely over but holidays are tough).
Hope I have given enough info - please help me support her. And I hope I haven't upset anyone by this.

If you can manage it you could take her dd out for a while or to your house for a few hours to give her a break. I would have loved this and it would also have been good for ds to build up a relationship with another adult to give me a break from being constantly on duty. You could also research some suitable play schemes. The hols are very hard and you need to be prepared for them with some kind of plan if you are going to survive.

She told you how she feels and you 'got' it. Makes you an honorary SN godmother I reckon. So youre not likely to be offending anyone by posting.

Be a good friend. That's probably enough! Obviously a bit of practical help is useful, if feasible. If her dd won't/ can't come to you, maybe taking the 3yo to the park now and then might be nice. And If she's not on MNSN, maybe she might want to be

Hi and welcome to the SN board, nice to see such a caring friend . I agree with the other ladies, taking her concerns seriously, and realising how stressful a time she is having is a great start to supporting her.

In terms of online stuff, if MN isn't her cup of tea, then netmums also has a SN forum which has always seemed OK, or some people with kids with chromosome issues have found Contact A Family and/or Unique helpful for support. I also know someone in the UK who runs an FB based group for support for parents/carers of children with GDD.

Wish i had a friend like you op your friends dd sounds similar to my dd2, i think if you were my friend the fact that you are there to talk to would be enough. You could offer to look after the other child for a few hours, offer to sit with the dd whilst she goes shopping but realy just being there for her and having a coffee and a chat would be great .

Thank you all for your suggestions. To be honest I find her DD a real trial (sorry) so am (sorry) loathe to suggest I take her for a few hours - oh god I feel awful for saying that and . Her DS has recently taken a shine to me so maybe I could offer that. And coffee and chat are always available.

Just as an aside, I mentioned a while back a book I was reading - "Playful Parenting" which has really helped me with my 2 DCs - she said she would like to borrow it - would it potential be of use even given the SN situation (sorry if am sounding as ignorant as I am - again no wish to upset anyone)

there is also a SWAN support group (syndrome without a name) online, someone from there recently posted on one of the other SN boards here, your friend might find that useful.

Fair enough if childcare isn't on the cards. Re:the Playful Parenting book, if your friend has expressed an interest then can't do her any harm for her to flick through it, see if it seems helpful or not.