Something to help me sleep?

[claw4]

Can anyone recommend something to help me sleep please?

I was thinking along the lines of some kind of pills or something that i can buy over the counter.

Ds has been having problems getting to sleep at night, some nights not at all, which i am working on. We now have something resembling sleep for ds ie waking him up earlier, even after a bad night in order for him to sleep earlier the next. I have it down to getting him to sleep by about 4am now.

This has had a knock on effect on me and even after ds is asleep, instead of nodding off myself for a few hours, i am wide awake. In order to help ds, i need some sleep to function.

I have tried relaxation techs etc, but nothing is working.

morning claw4

i think perhaps your problem lies in having to stay awake with DS and you've gone through your own 'sleepy time', adrenaline will be keeping you up, to make sure you're attentive enough to see to him.

have you a DP? can you take it turns to be awake with DS? even twice a week would benefit so you can have a relaxing bath etc but know once you're settled in bed you can stay there until 6am for eg?

To help me stay asleep i take valerian root capsules - they don't make you go to sleep but help me go back to sleep if i wake in the night.

hth

I have a dp, but he doesnt live here, he usually stays every other weekend, so i do get a break then, but every other weekend isnt enough sleep for me to function properly.

I think you are right about adrenaline keeping me awake, last night or this morning at about 1am i kept nodding off, i had ds in bed with me and he was in and out of bed, so i couldnt nod off properly. I gave up at about 2am, ds finally settled at 4am after i was quite abrupt with him, feel guilty now, but he did get a 'for god sake, can you just lay still and go to sleep'

I then came down put the kettle on and got on with some housework. I might go food shopping in a minute, both my older boys are here and ds will now quite happily sleep until about 2pm this afternoon if i let him!

how old is your DS? can you introduce some rules for him to follow about coming into your bed?

DD is a terrible sleeper (ASD, i think your DS has autism too?) but now can amuse herself to a certain extent, it's been a long haul though, and you do have to be firm with her.

social story might help him understand that YOU need sleep even if he doens't?

He is 8 and yes ASD. I took him into my bed on purpose to try and kick start getting back to a normalish sleep pattern. He would be quite happy to stay in his room, but then he doesnt sleep at all, at least in with me i can keep telling him to get back into bed etc and he does finally go to sleep.

If he hasnt slept all night, he will then fall asleep at about 5pm and there really is no stopping him, he will literally fall asleep standing up and he will be up again all night and it becomes a vicious circle

i know there is a bit of a debate about this, on another thread in this section even, but have you ever thought of using melatonin?

it's not licensed in UK, so can only be prescribed by a consultant paed for your DS, but is very effective.

your poor DS must be exhausted too, how does he cope with school?

We have used melatonin in the past for a month to 'reset' his body clock. We also tried Vallergan for a night too.

Vallergan gave him almost 'hangover' effects ie it put him to sleep, but next day he just couldnt wake up and kept falling asleep.

Melatonin, was a strange one, it was like he became overwhelmed and he acted very strangely, making funny noises, crawling around the floor etc. I assume if he has never had the feeling of feeling tired, to all of a sudden become drowsy, must have made him feel 'weird'.

He is usually asleep by 12 or 1am prior to this 'bad patch' we are going through. Then the slightest upset/change affects his sleeping and we at 4am or all nighters. He usually copes well on a 12/1am and just doesnt seem to get tired or need much sleep.

He will be back to school soon and he will not cope on 4am.

My plan of action is even if he hasnt slept until 4am to still wake him earlier, gradually getting earlier in the morning and hopefully he will need to sleep earlier at night. But the problem is i then cant sleep!

I can resort to Melatonin if my plan doesnt work, but was thinking along the lines of trying to 'fix' my problem, in order to 'fix' his first if that makes sense!

how much melatonin does he take?

sometimes too much is worse than none

I cant remember the dosage now. I might give my GP a ring this morning actually, it usually takes a week to get an appointment, so i have them on standby if all else fails. CAMHS prescribed them previously, i hope my GP isnt going to be a pain about prescribing.

if your GP is like mine he wouldn't do it, due to non-licence issue, but CAMHS were great, had to see the psych in his sleep hygiene clinic but that was a formality, he agreed to the meds after seeing us for the assessment and dx process.

can you talk through with DS about what happens with NTs that doesn't happen with ASD? if he understands why he needs sleep, it may help with the anxiety of the feelings of getting drowsy?

I get the feeling mine wont and ds is no longer under CAMHS, still i will give it a try.

Ds isnt aware that he has ASD as such, well as a label anyhow. We do talk about differences and he has books about ASD etc which we read, in a build up to one day telling him he has ASD.

We often have chats about why he needs to eat, go to the toilet (bodily functions he is fearful of) and we have spoken about his fear of sleeping too and why he needs sleep. He has terrible nightmares.

it's so difficult isn't it?

DD is just beginning to understand we do certain things because of autism, and we're trying to bring the word into our 'normal' language.

we have joined some activity groups for children on the spectrum, and are gradually explaining that most of the other children have autism too.
i started off by taking her and not saying it was a 'special' group, just it was for children who like and dislike some of the same things as her. then we booked tickets for the autism friendly screenings at the cinema, and talked about the difference in experience from the NT screening (it was fairly disastrous tbh) and how different people like noise and a full on in your face session - putting the emphasis on others being different, not her

she has now asked if she has autism, and i answered a straight 'yes'

i let her think about it, bit my lip, but then she went back to her horses so i made a cuppa, texted DH and cried in the kitchen where she could't see me

sorry, that sort of poured out there

anyway, back to you - can you have a referral back to CAMHS for sleep issues?

i'm aware that you asked for help for yourself, but really if DS is up and you are the only adult about, there isn't much mileage in you sleeping if DS isn't {{hugs}} and

No worries, its good to hear about how others have gone about telling their children, it helps, it really does.

Ds has two friends, a brother and a sister who both have autism, who we meet through a CAMHS run feeding group last year. The sister is very much like ds and he hasnt noticed anything 'different' about her. The brother is very loud and in your face and ds finds him 'annoying'. They both know they have autism and so does ds, but he has never asked about it.

Ds also has a little boy in his class who has autism and tells me 'he has a disability' followed by 'i dont know what a disability is, but he has it'! He is also very protective over this little boy.

So we have had lots of talks about what a disability could be and that it doesnt have to mean you cant walk etc, it could mean you find handwriting difficult (like ds) etc. But at the moment ds doesnt seem to making any links, maybe a bit too abstract for him.

We are waiting on CAMHS referral, not for sleep, but for self harming.