Have come to realise I can't handle NT kids!!

[lisad123]

Took friends dd to zoo with my two today. She is older than dd2 by about 6 months but they are different school years.
I came to realise today I have no clue about parenting an NT kid, and was more stressed than I ever am with my two with autism!
Please tell me I'm not the only one?

I can't either and I have at least 1 NT child.

Don't think I deal with NT children or ASD children well at the moment! But given the choice would choose to have children's friends over who are ASD, always interesting and don't give you that look that says 'what is your DS doing now!'

Having had about 3000 of the so and sos in my shop so far over the summer I can hand on heart say NO I cant as I have less hassle, rudeness, cheek or grief from any SN child or adult for that matter whatever their SN is :)

2 alleged NTs at home but the more I look the more I see alledgedly not :)

Me too! I have DD with ASD and NT DS and he is much harder to handle. I can tune in to DD much more, but when he is having a tantrum, which sets off DD having a meltdown, oh dear!
Have also endured some truly awful "playdates" with NT children...

I struggle with NT parents more than the children. Many of them don't realise that having an NT child doesn't make them perfect - far from it.

I find my NT children ok in fact a doddle but I have to say I find other people's children really hard work in fact I wouldn't swap with my friend with her NT gang for all the tea in China.They are just so unpredictable, at least with my two with ASD I know what's coming

Maybe I just need more practise, but I find dealing with my 2 NT DSs a walk in the park compared to my youngest with ASD.

Same here Zen, my particular asd child makes parenting my NT kids a piece of piss by comparison

Slightly different here though, have no nt children in my house, so certainly not got any practice.

At least with an ASD kid you get the truth every time!!! I love that my DS cannot tell a lie he'll tell me exactly what he has done good or bad!

Just had an incident with 2 NT kids - could do with some advice.

DS was knackered after day trip to BO (he finds the new excrcises tough to put it mildly + it's the other side of London so long day iykwim). A neighbour (girl 11 and bright)knocked on the door @ 7.30 asking for him to come out and play. I said no cos he was in bed. 15 mins later I took the dog down for a quick pee, was gone 10 mins tops.

Get back to discover DS has thrown a £100 skateboard off a 3rd floor balcony. Apparently as soon as I headed off his 6 year old nemesis and this 11 year old has started bashing on my front door, waking him up and pissing him off. It was her skateboard went over the blacony.

I cannot afford to pay £100 to replace a skateboard and tbh don't see why I should. Everyone knows DS a/ isn't allowed out afte about 7 cos he has the earliest bed time on the block. b/ He has form (threw cold buckets of water over em last summer out the bathroom window for similar offences.

The 6 year old goes out of his way to taunt Ds constantly and there was a spat between them just yesterday, after which I told his Mum I wanted the two boys kept apart (actually I said I was sick of having to take my son out for the day to get away from her brat but that's by the by). I'm sick to the back teeth of policing my own kid some days without this meddlesome little sir who literally urinates and spits on the communal balcony right outside my front door, and is often out past 9-10pm. DS has sleep issues as you all know, and I've had it up to here.

On the other hand DS could have killed a passerby, throwing a heavy object from that height.

WWYD?

Tell everyone that ds has to mend the skate board. Tell all you're Keeping him in each evening until it's done. Tell tykes who come to knock that he's grounded until skateboard is mended and that if he damages anything else as a result of their taunting you'll be sure to keep him in to mend those things too!

OR tell them that Ds will replace skateboard from his pocket money, which he earns from doing evening jobs at a rate of £2 per week and he'll get cracking saving from this very day!

I like stars second suggestion :) He broke it not you so its his responsibility to fix the problem. At the same time the kids were agrivating the hell out of him and so they can damn well wait till he saves up enough for a whole skateboard.

bochead To be honest, it's their fault that the skateboard was dropped off the balcony. You didn't give it to him, and you had been clear that he was in bed. You are under no obligation to replace anything.

I agree that you don't want him to get in to the habit of throwing things off balconies, but the 11 year old girl should be buying herself a new skateboard, or her parents who were allowing her to knock on neighbour's doors at 8.00, having been politely told to go away (whether this was am or pm).

I suspect that there are a number of grown adults who would have been tempted to throw the skate board off the balcony if these children kept pestering them. (This would still have been the wrong thing to do obviously, and I promise I would have checked that there was nobody down below...)

I wouldn't replace it. They were told to go away, that your DS was in bed. If they returned to cause problems, they got what they deserved.

An expensive lesson for her regarding her skateboard, but realistically it wouldn't have been damaged if she hadn't returned after being told to leave.

How did he get the skateboard? Was it thrown over your balcony or the communal landing one? Did he have it already or did they knock again and he opened the door and got it like that?

If its the latter then tough shit really I wouldn't be replacing it and they shouldve gone away when told instead of seeing you go out and knocking again (if that's how it went)

Communal balcony (we all share a landing).
Skateboard was used to bash my front door (last month it was a copper pipe).
Skateboard belonged to yet another child who wasn't involved & is upset so I'll pay a share towards it but will make it clear I expect the other 2 Mums to pay their 1/3rd too!
The little scroats saw me go out and went back to my front door.

I've put in a complaint to the council as I'd told the 6 year old's Mum off just the day before. It's a regular thing for that lad to torment mine, & I'm sick of it. It's been going on for years, and I've lost count of the times I've tried talking to his Mum, (copper pipe incidents started the night I spoke to his Dad). She needs to supervise her brat and keep him away from mine, especially as my Ds has sleep issues. It's just not fair for him to be constantly woken up, (he wet the bed last night twice after not doing it for months).

Maybe it was wrong to leave my son unattended but ffs he was akip in his own bed, and this sort of thing could happened had I been in the bath etc (lone parent). My lad frankly has done well in not retaliating before.

Sorry for my whining but it's stressing me out as tptb wanna medicate my lad for his sleep issues. Last night he was so shattered after the RRT that he might have got a full eight hours for once. I'm also blaming myself cos I know these kids are evil but didn't want the dog having an accident in my hall.

That aLl sounds very stressful.

How dare they bang on your door like that.

I know its not that simple but have you requested a move to a lower floor property on disability grounds?

I know it can be done as a friend of mine was moved to a ground floor due to similar issues (her son trying to climb out of 5th floor windows as well as the lobbing stuff out)

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious I'm sure you know all this anyway!

Sadly I bought before I had DS : (

DS doesn't normally lob stuff, he just lot the plot at being woken up like this yet again! (He has behavioral issues, but they don't include peeing on other peoples door steps, throwing stuff off balconys or going round at night banging on the neighbours doors etc lol! He does at least know the difference between right & wrong iykwim)

Long shot, but if the mum of the annoying children is aware that your child has SN/disability, and she allows her children to continue this behaviour... then point out to that mum (or the council or both) that if this harassment continues, then you will contact the police and discuss whether or not to push for harassment as hate crime based on disability, because it sounds like this is the main reason why they are tormenting him (because they know it upsets him more due to his SNs).

note, that would mean the harassment would be against the mum (for allowing children to continue behaviour), not the children. Might make the mum rein them in?

They are really difficult aren't they? I sometimes watch my friends NT kids and am so used to my DS that it takes a while to adapt to entertaining a NT kid.