When is the worst time for your child? Holidays or school?

[JackJacksmummy]

Just been thinking to myself that this summer holidays haven't been too bad, in fact DS has been really lovely to have around, compared to last summer when I hated the holidays and continually said he needs to be back in a school routine.

Now it seems he has turned around completely and is at his worst when he has the frustrations and pressures of trying to keep up at school.

I guess it'll show more once he gets back to school and we see just how different he is to his peers but at the moment I am loving having him about.

Schools is worse for ds by a long shot, I may get frustrated during the hols at times (what parent doesn't ) but at least he doesn't have to try so hard to fit in, ds is in a ms school with 1 to 1 and it's like trying to knock a square peg into a round hole most of the time, he seems to think in pictures where every one else thinks in words lol

Same here!! My daughter can be herself at home...I do try and do about an hour "school work" with her at home daily as I get 6 wks hols during the summer but she just loves being home and having holidays and days out!!! I do think in the future home scholling will be the way forward for her! We can chop and changed our routine a lot during holidays and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I would love 52 weeks holidays per year....ok maybe that's pushing it but we are all happy, no stress and no pressure!!

My son is calmer more flexible and relaxed in the holidays, so I prefer the holidays. He needs to get out and about but during term time is often very tired by the time he gets home so homework is major problem.

The holidays are much better, he is much calmer, and happier by the time he is ready to go back to school he hardly has any tics. A few weeks into school and they will be back.

Each brings its own little bit of Hull. DS1's school anxiety is breathtakingly horrendous, but once they're there, I have 6 hours of peace, barring worrying about the fortnightly phone call. DS2 is really difficult to engage during school holidays and this stresses DS1 out. The sheer lack of respite and adult contact (other than DH, who I barely get chance to talk to, some days) makes school holidays incredibly stressful.

Holidays are the worst for ds no matter how hard I try and get him into a routine, however, if he has a meltdown or is having a bad day we can cope better with it when he's home with us rather than lashing out at teachers or other pupils so I'd rather the bad behaviour was at home than at school iyswim.

His behaviour is worse during the holidays but the consequence are worse for him when he's at school (suspensions, etc compared to time outs and no tv/days out) and meltdowns are made worse as we can calm him down better than the school can.

Holidays are better for us, although DS is in SN school with all the right support. But home is chilling out time and he can do all his self-chosen activities with fewer demands on him.

His school is residential too, so I love having him home f/t during the holidays. Even weekend visits during term aren't quite as relaxing as it takes so long for him to switch off.

Bit torn on this. Holidays it's me 24/7 - no break, but DS doesn't have these real build ups of stress/anxiety, so tends to have less blow-outs.
At school, I get adult mental health well-being time, but as he behaves in school, little incidents make him fizz around like a champagne cork after school.
What I have loved is seeing the 3 DS playing together and making up games together that they can all play (all the games are based in reality - olympics, D-Day landings etc).

Holidays are awful

I start everyday trying to think what we can do. If it's sunny we can't go to the beach (too busy) if it's rainy we can't go to an inside thing like the aquarium (too busy), we can't go swimming (too busy and changing too difficult).

Ds1 can't watch tv and seems bored with YouTube and google maps. He doesn't really have any activities. He'll cook or do some simple puzzles I guess.

Surfing has been good and we've been managing once a week.

Thank god for respite. Have really needed it a few times this holiday.

We are the same here. Holidays are much better for my Ds he is calmer and happier more loving.
School is a huge stress and worry for him and me.

Much prefer holidays, especially the summer. It's when I feel free to really enjoy MY child without any outside interference or upset. (School has historically been a nightmare for DS).

at his worst when he has the frustrations and pressures of trying to keep up at school

I can really identify with this!

This summer holiday has been so nice and relaxed. He is a different boy without the pressures of school. We are lucky in that his mainstream school are very good and I have a good relationship with them but every day is still a struggle just getting him in through the school door without tears and worries.

I'm actually dreading the return as going back after a break is always especially hard for him.

He'll have a new teacher too and she's also new to the school so I have no idea what she's like. Hed just got used to last years teacher and now we have to start again!

I find it hard getting used to a new teacher too. I feel like writing up a little manual on what works best with him to hand to the new teacher on his first day back! I feel it would save time tbh! I'm praying that we get another good teacher we've been lucky so far. His teacher last year was nice he did find her a bit stern and hard to 'read' but she went out of her way to help and find what worked best with him.

I'm also worrying about him being 'left behind' his peers as he goes up another year. I think in some ways some of his peers are less accepting of his differences as they get older and more able socially. He can make friends he just sometimes has trouble keeping them and he finds that hard and I find it hard seeing him find it hard!

Anyway that's getting a bit depressing so I'll end by saying its been a good summer and I've really enjoyed spending it with him but I'll also enjoy a bit of me time when he goes back

I would not want all year round holidays. Ds is happier and so much calmer in the holidays but the summer holiday is a little too long even with lots planned and SN playscheme. The house and I take a battering if he is couped up and there is no down time away from ds to chill. When ds was in a really good sn primary, school was better ( ds cannot cope with boredom), but now school is more stressful - nearly as bad as when DS was in MS infants (and that is saying something!)- holidays are less stressful - if my energy (already flagging and today is the last sn playscheme day) will just hold out till Sept! We are lucky there is a new soft play in the middle of a near by shopping centre that is only just getting to be known. We go early or late and on hot days when few families are shopping! The word spread through us sn mums! Sadly for us it has got busier especially with very small children (ds is just to big to mix safely now). DH has taken more holiday this summer and that has helped too.
I can appreciate that there is not enough respite for proundly autistic children. We only cope because ds is an only child, enjoys a busy -ish enviroment, can communicate and we have more support and targetted activities than in the past.
Would your son enjoy canoeing saintly? Ds enjoys canoeing for a while, but his instinct is to sit down, others want to stand (which capsises the canoe). We had a SN sailing canoe course and it was much enjoyed. Ds likes messing about on or in the water - looking for little fish etc. It can be tiring as guess who is espected to do the catching.

Loving not having homework and reading book but keeping high functioning ds 7 and autistic two year old occupied hasn't been easy only so many conversations about tube lines one can stand