Oh, I thought you lived somewhere else dev! Feel free to live next door by all means 
I have no aversion to HV's especially but am keen to avoid being in too many systems, databases, or on anyone's 'caseload', and HVs have nothing to offer us.
After a year of begging for a referal somewhere for ds I finally got one with the HV being open enough to tell me that she had explained in the referral to the paed that it was just for my peace of mind. I got a working diagnosis at the first appointment.
I was then summoned to a developmental check by the HVs for dd when she was 18months as she was 'at risk of autism' as ds' sibling. I turned down the appointment on the basis that HVs clearly have no ability to see a clear case of autism. They were also over-involved in dd's development because her weight was below the 50th percentile.
I went to a HV-led breastfeeding clinic just recently to ask about the referal pathway for ds2's tongue-tie as feeding was very painful. They didn't have a clue what it was, didn't check latch or look in mouth. When I got a bit tearful (as had moved mountains and travelled a fair distance on public transport with all 3 to get to clinic), the HV told me that I had a lot to deal with and suggested that I must be feeling very fragile at the moment and that I MUST call the clinic in the next week or so, so that they could give me support.
I told them that the support I 'needed' was what I had busted a gut to request from them, not something different that they wanted to 'provide'. I told them that I actually thought I was very strong, and that strength had come from realising eventually that no-one was ever going to help us, that I had to get on with things myself, as I have done the last 3 years.