Ds 3 is spirited, something more?

[Onlyhappywhenitrains]

Hi, also posted about my ds (3.2) in behaviour but also wanted opinions here. I find it hard to be objective because I had such a terrible pregnancy and birth followed by complications and pnd that sometimes I think I am blowing ds's issues up out of proportion. Other times I am certain there is something not quite right and that he stands out for other children. Apologies, this may be long, I am trying to get my own thoughts together too.

He:
Has never slept well, only slept through twice since being born. Up 5 times a night on average.
Was a Very difficult high needs baby.
Gets very frustrated very very easily. If he can't do something straight away he gives up and won't try again. Makes high pitched noise and waves arms when frustrated.
Is extremely competitive but cannot handle losing. At all.
Very very active. Always on the go. Seemingly endless energy although actually over tiredness often comes out at being manic energy.
Does not like loud or unexpected noises.
Is currently obsessed with the colour red and the number 8.
Pretends to be a baby cat (!) a lot of the time and will talk about himself as the cat in third person "little cat likes you" "little cat wants to sit on your lap"
Overwhelmed in unstructured situations and will resort to pushing (I'm thinking of places like soft play) and will basically stop speaking.
Has a thing about some textures and is annoyed by labels inside clothes. Have to be cut out.
Hates being messy, even a tiny spot of pen on his hands makes him fuss.
Very easily over stimulated which results in tantrums and whining.
seems very immature in some ways for his age.

But he also:
Is extremely sociable, wants to make friends and plays with children well in small groups or more structured or familiar environments.
Is able to share and take turns without any prompting majority of the time.
Very kind.
Can concentrate for 20mins or so on an activity if interested.
Can empathise well with other people and animals.
Is not fazed by a change in routine.
Is tactile.
Has a very good imagination, does a lot of imaginary play.
Can pretend objects are something else eg some pine cones today at the park were used as trains.
Makes connections between things he has read or heard.
Excellent memory.
Good gross and fine motor skills.
Learns quite quickly although often won't try if he thinks he can't do it.
Knows letters, numbers, colours, shapes, etc.
Writes name and starting to recognise initial sounds in words.

He does fit being a spirited or sensitive child in some ways. I just worry for him. I can't see how he is ever going to be ready to start school in a year. He seems so much less streetwise and mature than his other children the same age. But then he's always been at home with me so maybe that is why. He starts nursery this September.
He is very big for his age (as tall as neighbour's 7yr old) and I think that doesn't help as people expect more from him than if he was tiny. Myself included sometimes.

Is this just normal 3yr old behaviour or something else?

Oh and verbally he is pretty good. Some sounds aren't clear yet but vocab is pretty good.

I always believe that as a parent if you are concerned then that is a valid enough reason to seek advice and I think you would justified in having a chat with your gp.

Does he go to Pre school? Do they share your concern? If so ask them to write a supporting letter for you to take to your gp. Ds's Pre school did this and it was helpful to have a bit of supporting "evidence" as it were

Starts this September, I'm not sure how he will get on!

We were playing catch tonight and he caught the ball a number of times but then missed. He proceeded to cry and say 'I'll never do it, I can't catch the ball, it is hopeless' etc. I don't know where this negativity comes from because we are always encouraging and positive with him. Don't know how he will cope at nursery when things don't go his way.

I would have a chat with the Pre school and raise your concerns they can monitor it and back you up if you decide to take it further. I think it would be worth speaking to your gp anyway. You're obviously worried .

I would speak to the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

Does it sound like more than just normal three year old behaviour then? I just have a feeling there is something not quite right, for want of a better phrase, but I don't have any other three year old boys to compare him to!

I think that gut feeling you have is worth following up.

I Looked at PDA. Ds seems to fit it in a number of ways. It was at the back of my mind that he might have high functioning autism but the fact he is so social and happy to chat to anyone always seemed at odds with the idea. he isn't like many children who when asked to do something to show their ability they will. For instance he can write his name but if asked to do it will just scribble and say I can't in a whiny voice. Ditto most other things from singing a song to taking his shoes off. Things he is capable of doing but when asked refuses and says he can't. He will only do things of his own valition and once he's decided he won't you can't convince him otherwise. The more he is cajoled the more he digs his heels in. If he decides to try something (tried to skip with a rope yesterday but couldn't) then it is basically the end of the world. He won't try again and he won't be helped. In fact he will never except help with anything apart from getting dressed. He won't be shown how to do anything and takes any suggestion (you might be better with your spoon round the other way for instance) as a criticism and will go on about it for days. It is extremely wearing.

I think I find him very tiring because of the broken nights of sleep and because he is none stop. He is never content to look at a story, build towers, draw, do jigsaws etc, he is always very physical. The only thing that keeps him still is the iPad which he is very adept on.