just a bit confused :-(

[tylerashdenshey]

hi i m new to this site so dont really know what to expect, sorry for the mumbo jumbo wording, im trying to write inbetween seeing the little monkey himself, but im after some advice from some mummies who are going through same thing or have been through the same thing, just a little bit about myself, im 29, i have 3 boys ages 7, 2 and 1, my 2year old (3 in nov) is currently going through asessment for autism,he was born 7 weeks premature, he wasnt poorly just needed to gain weight and was fed through a tube, he was in special care for 2 months before he was allowed home, through to his 1 year review his development was as expected, a little behind in some aspects but nothing concerning, as he reached 2 years i noticed how 'different' he was to other children his own age, people said its just the terrible 2's stage but i wasnt too sure, this was a different type of 'tantrum' i noticed how aggressive and angry he was all the time he hardly ever slept as a baby and still doesnt!!....though i noticed he was behind in his speech, he was at the same time very clever! he remembers everything, i can never 'trick' him, eg tell him hes eating chicken when its acctually pork etc, he can do those peg boards very easily like hes almost memorised it before hes done it, he matches colours up correctly but doesnt know what the colours are, same goes for shape sorters, hes a terrible eater, he eats next to nothing but will eat the strangest things like, gherkins and frozen food, he also eats tissues, paper, card, wax crayons, cotton wool and sponge!! i know hes not eating them through attention he acctually enjoys eating them! he will hide them and eat them in secret cos he knows i will take them away, he is violent to his brothers and other children i dread taking him out to play areas and parks but need to, to try and use some of his enrgy up, hes is contantly on the go, never stops and he repeats things all the time he will ask or tell me something and even when iv replied a million times he still asks the same thing over n over though he hasnt heard me, bed time is horrendous he acctually wants to go bed but he will not stay in bed hes up and down all night sometimes hes been asleep for an hour and wakes up thinking its morning!! im going out of my mind i havnt got a clue as to what else to try through disipline and how to control his meltdowns, im completely frained before the end of every day, i just want to know if he has or hasnt got autism or anything so i can start to procede withwhat to do next, sorry for the long post any advice is greatly appreciated!!!!!

Have you had any appointments with a Speech therapist (SALT) or a paed yet?

I loved the Hanen SALT book, More than Words which seems expensive but it was actually well worth the money.

I couldn't say whether your DS is on the spectrum, of course, but I think you are doing the right thing getting him assessed. He does seem to have some red flags. You sound on the ball and you are doing the right things. Stick around here. There are lots of people with similar experience at different stages along the journey.

Hi and welcome to the board, you have come to the right place for support and advice

There is a thread running somwhere on the board for people who are in the process of assessments or awaiting diagnosis that might interest you.

There is usually somebody around on here if you have a question.

Good luck and be kind to yourself

hi thanks for the quick reply mummies!!! yes hes seen a speech therapist, hes been asessed since january this year, it was the health visitor who noticed some signs of autism and referred him through our gp, whats a paed? i feel like im not doing enough for him at the moment but i dont know were if anywere to turn to x

Hello :)
I also have 3 boys, the eldest (10) has Aspergers, middle (5) is being assessed for HFA, and the youngest (3) appears to be NT, just the odd ASD trait.
A paed is a paediatrician, I still haven't worked out if they are different types or different names in different areas, we saw a community paed, some people see developmental paeds. In our current area an ASD dx would be via a pre-school autism team (Very long waiting list), but in our previous area was by paed referal to CAMHS. In the long run it would be the psychiatrist and psychologist in the autism or CAMHS team that would make the dx, but again this can vary by area.
It can be hard hearing that your child may be 'different' so take care. Unfortunately the dx process, especially in young children, is a very long process so that they don't end up labelling children with ASD when they are just late developers, or just have odd ASD traits etc. Personally I would read up on ASD behavioural strategies and then try and implement them in the run up to a dx. It won't hurt if your child doesn't have ASD but will definitely help if he does. In particular for eg. I have found with my DSs that sticker charts etc don't often work (the one exception was when DS1 had a sticker chart for going into school nicely. It worked as it gave him a purpose to go through the door - I have to walk through the door to the sticker chart and put a sticker on the chart, rather than because he saw the sticker as a reward, iyswim), and neither do 'threatened' punishments - they just add to stress levels.

Hi there, sorry things are so difficult at the moment. I have an NT 9yr old, an Aspergers 7yr old and a 4yr old who probably has PDA (negotiating further assessment).
I should research autism and ASD anyway (eg NAS website) because even if he doesn't have it the methods are often quite helpful eg using concise speech, simplifying choices, being aware that there may be sensory issues affecting his mood/flexibility. It's all useful and interesting stuff to learn about.
Also have a look at the PDA page on the NAS site as those handling methods are different but might be useful with regards his tantrums.
FInally I would say haves look at your families for eccentrics. ASD is usually genetic. If your DS has it, it may have nothing to do with his birth. Just something to think about.
Good luck and keep pushing xxx

Look up MCHAT for a list of autism symptoms in toddlers.

I would look into melatonin (ask GP or paed)to get him to sleep - then you may feel more able to implement strategies.

See if you can self refer for portage or to community nurse for advice on behaviour.

Read up on sensory problems e.g. on NAS website - sounds like under sensitive to taste you could try spicy and strong tasting foods.

hi im not sure what some of these terms some of you are using, ill get there eventually lol, hes been seen by a doctor/ paed at ryegate childrens centre in sheffield since january which is when he had his first appt, then he went to see a speech therapist twice and have just received an appt for her to visit at our home (she is the speech therapist at ryegate), hes been for a hearing tet which came back that in both his ears he couldnt hear too good (background noises), he went back to see a consultant and had another test on the day that came back better than the last one and he put it down to the fact that hes always snotty that his eardrums are congested and said he would send another appt to check if his airways had deloped as they should??.......then we had an appt back at ryegate for another update i think, and then hes seen a phsycologist (sorry for the spelling), he has a follow up appt for that next week to which i have to provide this sleep diary she gave me, and then he has another appt around his 3rd birthday at ryegate, does anyone know if this could be the apptointment for the diagnosis or if theres much more they would need to do/check/assess??......he will be starting nursery near his 3rd birthday and would like to be able to know so the nursery can put things in place to help him because im panicking over this, i think hes going to take it really bad, i will be dreading going to pick him up and them pulling me to one side everyday saying hes hit, bit, pushed, thrown things, had a major meltdown or even tried hurting himself with all the crayons and scissors etc they have in there theres so much i knw he could try to use, i know how he works, he could find something that you would nver think would hurt anyone and he would find a way, he is so clever i just dont know how he manages some of the stuff he does, surely a 2 year old cant be so clever, yet so behind???? i dont get it, im finding it really hard to understand all this and try to implement things to help him have a easier day and for us all too!! my days are constantly spent making sure he doesnt hurt himself or his brothers or other children, making sure the doors are locked and windows as he can open the safety catches on them, i have to hide the tissue, grab the post before him or hell eat it!! im always scared to death of leaving him with my one year as he does the horriblest of things to him, he shoves his hands in his mouth, presses his thumbs in his eyes, wacks him over his head with anything he can find, hes pushed him dwnstairs numorous times, he throws himself dwnstairs, i caught him within a splitsecond of trying to bounce down my concrete back steps (theres about 8) on a space hopper and then on his trike!!! im going out of my mind, i just dont kn ow how to deal with it all its all too overwhelming, im not sure i can do this :-(.........................appoligise for the long post, i just sit and ramble on, i dont know who else i can talk to xx

Quick glossary:
ASD: Autistic Spectrum Disorder (used pretty much interchangeably with pervasive Development Disorder)
PDA: Pathological Demand Avoidance, one of the colours of the spectrum, more sociable than other ASDs but huge meltdowns.
Asperger Syndrome: another colour on the spectrum, usually more highly functioning, better language skills and emotional eloquence about themselves (but not so much other people.)

NAS: national autistic society

Wow, thats a lot of appointments with no alot of info for you to go on.

Sit down with a note pad and write down anything you want to know.. what each appoint/person is assessing for, when will feedback/results be given.

He is likely to have one of the people, probably the paediatrician with overall responsibility for his assessment and any subsequesnt follow up. Make sure you have an appointment lined up with this person where you can ask all the questions you need to.
Dont except any of them "discharging" your ds (im thinking about SALT here) if you feel you still need support or advice from them or if you are not happy with the outcome... often just saying "no i'm not happy for him to be discharged" is enough to keep him on their books so to speak.
Ask for a referal to an occupational therapist IMHO essential when children have autism (or similar) especially if they are showing sensory seeking behaviour. Alot of the behaviour that you describe can be explained by your son seeking sensory input.
Have you discussed your concerns with your sons nursery yet? If not make an appointment with the nursery head and the SENCO (special education needs co-ordinator). First and foremost they must be able to ensure the safety of your ds & others... it may need that they will need to provide additional adult support in the class with him.. has anybody mentioned a "statement" to you?
It is something worth discussing with the nursery at the earliest opportunity but in any case it is something that you cna apply for if YOU feel your son needs support over & above what the nursery will provide.

Lots & lots of information available on the web but - one step at a time - dont overload yourself.
Take it one day at a time & tick off one thing from your list at a time.
Good luck & there always plenty of people on here able to help.

Hi thankyou so much to you all, I just dont know how or were to start looking, my heads all over the place and to top it all off, we privately rented a house in march this year, signed a 2yr contract, the house has now been repossessed, everythings in place with the housing, just waiting to b re-housed, my worry is hes goin to take this so bad, he still hasnt accepted that this is/was our home n keeps asking to go home to our old house n now im having to put him thru it again!....how do you all cope? You all seem so in control and informed, I feel at a loss like ive missed something out? X

Ill go to see the school head when they return to school, see what he can say/do, does any of this get any better? Really? Or do you just learn to live with it? X

YES it does get better, it changes but it does get better. DS2 is 10 now and although he will always be disabled (autism, learning diff & cerebral palsy) he has matured so much.
You get to know what you need, what your ds needs, what works & what doesnt.
Remember you dont have to do this all on your own.
If you need help SHOUT for it, has anyone mentioned disability living allowance to you?

It does get better when you understand why the difficult behaviour happens because you can work to minimise the triggers and you can change the way you feel about it all and therefore the way you react to it. then you will have to train up everyone who deals with him, extended family, teachers etc. You will become an expert in your specialist subject: your DS.