Self indulgent moan

[MsNobodyAgain]

I'm sorry. I have to get this out. Lone Mum to 3 DCs. DD NT, 2DSs with SN...God where do I start?

It's such hard work. DS1 is a shouter (probable Aspergers, diagnosed GDD). DS2 is sensitive to sound (diagnosed ASD and GDD). DSs go to a SN school. They are also partially sighted. The holidays are a battle.

Can't go to the cinema (DS2 - too loud)
Can't go shopping (DS2). He wants a toy every time and I'm skint
Can't go to the park (DS2). He hates crowds, swings make him sick and his eyesight condition means he can't climb safely.
Playing in the house DS1 constantly shouts, which upsets DS2
We can't go on holiday because DS2 doesn't like the beach, new places, the sea, travelling. I have tried. Never again.
Can't take them swimming as I'm not allowed to supervise 3 children. DS2 won't get in the water anyway
Ex-h is as much use as a chocolate teapot

I'm so tired. My poor DD has her life ruled by her brothers. I do have a lovely family that help as much as they can but they work. I get Direct Payments and 10 hours respite a week but I'm flagging. I'm really flagging. The spare time I do get goes so quickly.

Please tell me I'm not alone. I'm so very sad tonight and feel very alone.

i really feel for you - i am the same and have 2 boys on the spectrum who are completely different so we are so restricted in what we can do as one boy wont like what we are doing - i also have a daughter as well so trying to balance everything is so difficult - somehow we manage to muddle through but its not easy and damn hard work and exhaustinhg - i get 25 hours a month which seems woefully inadequate but am glad we get something

I am so glad for a reply. Thank you bjkmummy. It is nice to know someone, somewhere understands.

I'm trying to distract myself on other light-hearted threads because I am sick of crying.

I hope you are doing ok. It just got to me tonight when DS2 was screaming about DS1 being too noisy (he wasn't being). And then seeing my poor DD trying to be the peacekeeper as I was loading the dishwasher at the time and they were upstairs and I wasn't.

I'm feeling calmer now. Thanks again.

Hi Ms, this is the least self indulgent rant I have ever read!
I am pretty new to this, but my experience is that having DC, let alone DCs plural, with SN, is on occasion a lonely path, irrespective of the support of family and friends.
You are definitely not alone. All the best to you and your DCs

Thank you marchduck.

I hope you are ok, whatever your circumstances may be, and cheers for replying to my post.

Thank you Ms. I would say that most of the time I am ok - what gets me is the sleepless nights when I worry about the future. I have to remind myself that the only person I am tormenting is myself.
Your DD sounds lovely!

I don't think that is self indulgent at all. I often feel on my own with only 1 DS with Sn and 1 dd.

It is very hard when you are so restricted in what you can do and 10 hours is barely enough time to get essentials done.

Hope you get a bit of a break over the summer holidays.

I agree- not self indulgent at all, you are dealing with a lot.
Sounds like you are in need of a break- the holidays have the effect of shining a spotlight on all of the issues our dc have.

I'm afraid I don't have any real advice, but wanted to say that you have done the right thing in posting, it's important to let it out.
Hope you manage to get some time out.
In the meantime - and -we need a chocolate smiley!

You are all lovely. And I know you understand the sadness I feel when it's somebody calling round to take my DD out but not my DSs. It breaks my heart, but is totally understandable.

I do and can cope. I do a bloody good job actually but some days, it just gets on top of me. Today was one of those days. But I am feeling better now.

God, I love MN sometimes.

How old is your DD?

Does her school or anywhere local do a holiday club which she could go to to get a break? My DD does this.

I feel for you, and you are not being self indulgent.

DD is 9. Twins are 7, nearly 8.

I have done holiday clubs in the past but it is hard as DS2 will (eventually) get in the car but then doesn't understand why he can't go too (they don't accept SN children). There are no SN holiday clubs in my area at the moment. Then DS1 gets upset as he's not 'normal'.

DD does have a dance class once a week which she loves. We've been going to that for years, while the Carer looks after the DSs. She is an 'accomplished dancer' according to her last test. She has rhythm. It's not from me

Hi Ms, I can empathise and have done my fair share of weeping tonight! Do you have a local NAS branch? I've found getting involved with parents' groups and activity groups a bit of a godsend. Talk to your social worker. I think they tend to leave us alone if they think we're doing fine. Demand a bit more support!

Hi tall. My SW retired and I've yet to be allocated a new one.

Re NAS, I know there is a group that meets at the local playcentre once a month but I haven't investigated further to see if they do anything else. 10 minutes in a playcentre and DS2 wants to go home .

I'll try to be more positive and pro-active I think. All he wants to do today is go to the local Tesco. It's small so he likes it and, more importantly for me, it doesn't sell toys!

Hope you had a better day today Ms. I did because the old lovely smiley cuddly ds has come back. I can cope with all the poo and despair as long as I get a smile

Very nice to you to think of me tall. I have had a bit of a sleep but DS2 is up again. We did have a good day. It will be even better tomorrow as the DCs are going to their grandmas for a while

The smiles are nice aren't they? I just tried to get DS2 back to sleep but he is having none of it.