PLAYSCHEME ADVICE ASAP!!!

[Shellywelly1973]

Any advice greatly appreciated...

Ds 7 has a dx of ASD&ADHD.

He started at a playscheme today. We used to use this as an after school activity before ds started full time AS school(6 months ago).

Ds did enjoy the after school club but by the end of us using it, he was struggling to cope as there were lots of new children and he is very socially delayed.

After a long fight with DCT, they placed him there at the summer playscheme.. I told them of our previous experience but their were no other places able to take ds on, even though i applied last April.

Anyway i brought ds today & it took an hour before i could leave him but he seemed happy for me to go. I left him about 11.30 am. Picked him up at 5pm. They said he was ok, bit noisy& rough but nothing they couldn't handle. Though i do wonder if they really can handle him...

When ds realised i was there he grabbed his stuff and couldn't wait to get out of there.( Normally i force him to leave any place, big transistion issues!!) Then he burst into tears in the car. Ds said everyone was horrible to him and he dosn't want to go back.

Problem is i have 2 other dc, ds 4 & dd10 at home and really struggling. Do i put ds or families needs first? Its this playscheme or nothing. He's been off school for 5 weeks, 3 weeks til he goes back. I hate to see him upset but he does this whenever he cant cope.

i have said to him to go for shorter but he just wont talk now...

Advice please, i hate this, do i put ds first and struggle for another 3 weeks with no break or force him to go somewhere he isn't happy but get a kind of break? Also I need to sort uniforms, all the usual stuff which is impossible with ds.

What would you do? Sorry this is so long!!!

I am sorry - it such a stress when you know they are not happy somewhere.

The first thing I would ask myself is, how much of a break will I really get if he gets worked up every day and there is constant stress involved in going there?

If you need to get uniforms and stuff sorted, you could wait until you have some cover and nip out alone or why not just use the internet?

However, I would also be conscious of the fact that first days can be bad and I would think about giving it another go. Talk to the staff. Tell them how you feel. Tell them to be honest with you about how things are going. You could offer a reward to your DS if he tries it again.

Perhaps give it another shot with all your worries out in the open and see how it goes. You could think of shortening hours or reducing days too.

But you must do what feels right for you and your DS.

It's difficult really. I know with DS2 if he struggled coping with somewhere, he'd be completely overwrought in the evenings, which would make my afternoons and evenings much more stressful than ever. I myself would be more inclined to give it one more try, speaking to them first about the concerns, and if he still struggles, keep him home. But that's just me. (then I'd make sure that one day that I got as much of the uniform stuff and other stuff done as possible just in case!!)

Would he do better if he started on smaller hours and gradually increased them each week, so the third week he was there 6 hours?

Thanks.

I was thinking same sort of things!

I realise from previous experience a break is no good unless i know ds is happy.

Its so difficult as part of me thinks im being OTT but i see the bigger picture. Its not fair on ds to send him somewhere hes not happy/cant manage because i need to do other things.

I wouldn't do it to the other dc. Will talk to the staff tomorrow&reduce his hours.

Thanks for replying,its made me see things more clearly!

Its only for2weeks. Ds was one of the few to be given 2weeks in this Borough. 1weeks restpite is all the majority of SN families recieved this year...