How to start the ball rolling about ADD and Aspergers diagnose? and what would be the benefits of doing it?

[Athendof]

I am pretty convinced that my child has ADD, and has inherited Aspergers from his dad.

I am totally at the end of my tether and with the holidays, I am loosing it now and again. We go from the aspergers obsessions when he cannot stop talking of something for a good few hours in a row and not noticing how much he is annoying other kids, or adults; to the unability to keep in task for more than a few seconds.

Everything is a struggle, coming out of the door takes more than two hours of constant reminders, his practices for dyslexia can take more than an hour (they are supposed to be completed in 10 minutes maximum) because he keeps forgetting what he is doing even if I am sitting next to him reminding him to go back to his work.

He is a lovely child, very affectionate, but extremely hard work. He is not rude, he is not inconsiderate, but he simply can't see what is going on and adapt his behaviour accordingly. So, he's often the target of bullies, and he is getting very delayed in school. What is more heartbreaking is to see how hard he tries and how deflated he feel when things go wrong, and how his confidence is suffering.

I feel as if I am trapped in a squash court with a high speed ball bouncing around. There is no respite, he cannot even manage more than 6 hrs sleep at night.

I know that there is not much that could be gained with a diagnose of mild aspergers, but is it possible to help his attention so he doesn't get in so much trouble or keep getting behind in school?

How can I set the ball rolling to get help for him?

How old is he?

Referrals for getting a diagnosis vary from area to area. Where I live, I had to get my doctor to refer us to a Paediatrician. Then my DS1 had to be assessed by a Behavioural Therapist and a Speech Therapist before he would even be considered for a referral to the Autism Team.

Long story short, DS1 is 7 and I just went through that process and was told he probably did have Aspergers but they rarely diagnose that before the age of 9.

DS2 is 7 (twin). He went through the same process and was diagnosed with ASD after testing.

There may be things to be gained if you are able to get a diagnosis. Help for you perhaps via Direct Payments. Assisted teaching in the school environment.

Start with your doctor or Social Worker if you have one and go from there. That's what I did. Someone with more knowledge may be around soon.

He is 9 now, so that may help. DS has a multitude of other problems, I am even scared to ask the GP about this. I guess it is a matter of making an appointment for him but without him? so I can talk to the doctor in detail?

I would agree and say see the doctor alone initially. With DS2 (ASD), I could talk to any health professional while he was with me because he has no idea what is being said.

DS1 is a totally different kettle of fish. He is sharp, picks up on things, obsesses.

Make a list of what your concerns are before you see the doctor. It's so easy to forget what you feel is unusual or concerning behaviour when you are asked questions. Lots of people say keep a diary. It's a bloomin' good idea!

You may have a fight on your hands with regards to diagnosis but it can be done and it will benefit your DS in the end if you are fortunate enough to get help as you know.

I would recommend keeping a diary of your Ds quirks/issues, what causes them [if you know] and how you deal with them. You need to show that you are parenting him consistently so that the proffs dont try to blame your parenting.

Include in the diary any eating/sleeping issues, behavioural probs, obsessions, issues with changes in routine.

You definitely dont need to take him to the initial appointment with your GP.
Gps are just platforms for getting referrals, they are not experts and often know very little about ASD/ADHD.

Good luck

Thank you,

Will start with the diary. I thought also in taking with me every school report DS has had (all of them since he was 3 say the same: easily distracted and difficult to keep on task. If he only paid more attention ...)