How DO you cope with an ADHD child?

[Julezboo]

Because quite frankly Im not, he is out of control, today he had destroyed the whole of upstairs, pulled everything out of my wardrobe, paperwork boxes completely emptied all over my bedroom.

He says he was looking for a green man?

I dont know what to do. We are stuck in the shouty cycle. I cant get out of it. I am so frustrated.

Are u in my house?!?

Ds7 has ASD&ADHD.

When it gets like this,which is alot,i force us out of the house.

I get the kids on their bikes or rain coats on&off we go...

Ive got 3dc at home so i often end up dragging all 3 out-the moans&whinging!!

Structure to each day is the only way i stay sane. We cant just hang around the house or it all ends in screaming,shouting arguing...

I take any break offered,for any of the dc.

My most powetful tool to coping is to say to myself 'I cant control whats happening,only how i react to it'.

Best luck.

Look after yourself,the best you can...

Take care.

Xxx

I use exercise. Vigourous exercise releases endorphins and has been shown to have a calming effect. It increases dopamine and serotonin levels.

We've got a treadmill and a fast run on that does calm him and put him in a better mood and makes him more attentive. He hates it but everyone who has seen him before and after agrees that the difference is staggering.

Mine doesn't get to spend unstructured time alone upstairs. It always ends in disaster or something downright dangerous happening.

Things he wants to do are all down here, where we can see him (he also has ASD and is very impulsive). Things he loves but can't have all of out, all the time, like his lego city sets, are kept upstairs, locked away. To earn a fresh one, he has to tidy up his current one and be otherwise perfectly lovely, or else mum won't be able to trust him while she goes and fishes out a new set. Lots of incentive built in for him to think through his actions.

And definitely exercise, though DS1 also reacts badly to being overly physically tired, too - he starts bouncing off the walls and gets very bad tempered in the evening. A good, brisk, half hour walk is just a nice, calming amount that works out DS1's wriggles without DS2 reaching a point where he's wanting me to carry him - it helps that our village is surrounded by some pretty stunning countryside, so even a shuffle round the block can be interesting.

Have you got a trampoline for garden. ours is a lifesaver, when it gets really bad, I send him out for a bounce, whatever the weather, and tell him to stay out till he settles down. he can still be out there an hour later frantically somersaulting and screeching his head off, but it keeps us all sane.

Can you trust him to do any jobs around the house. If dh has mowed the lawn and left the cuttings I will give ds the rake and large bin bag and he will happily gather all the cuttings up, takes ages and tires him out a bit. Also ds will put clothes away whilst i am doing a pile of ironing, but I give them to him one by one and instruct him where each item has to go, this takes ages too, but keeps him occupied slightly.

Our bedroom, the bathroom upstairs, and the airing cupboard, and the kitchen are kept locked. He cannot go into them unaccompanied. I cannot guarantee he will stay out of things and I cannot allow him there unsupervised, so therefore they are locked to keep my sanity.

He has a safety gate on his bedroom door with an alarm on it, so when that day comes (he's 6) that he can open it, we'll know. He climbs in his room, but for some reason has not thought of putting his desk chair by the gate and climbing over. With any luck, it will not occur to him for a good long time!

Lots of outdoors time, running in the garden, playing with the dog, sliding on the slide, trying to ride his scooter (coordination issues). Mini trampoline in his room - all he has to do is ask and he can use it. Boxes and boxes of puzzles. Lots of books and maps/mapbooks (current obsession).

Bribery involving laptop, Wii, or DS game. He knows he has to complete particular chores to do them. Some times need more assistance in focus than others.

And of course, having wine and chocolate available in the evening never hurts.

No Garden :( I am thinking of getting a smaller one for inside though.

I was thinking of putting a lock on my bedroom, but thought it was a bit cruel. Think I am going to have to. And our walk in wardrobe.

Exercise is what I do, but doesnt really do much tbh, the boy has SO much energy. Shortly after I wrote this post all hell broke loose and he threw a metal toy plane at his older brothers head :(

He has a ds, not interested. unless its a new game which I cant do every week! They are expensive!

He broke his door off getting the safety gate off and can now climb both ways over it.

I cant drink cos Im on AD's they doubled my dose this week too. Chocolate is making me fat LOL!

Jobs around the house, he asks to do but then kicks off about everything i ask him to do! So its not worth the battle tbh.

I really am out of ideas, tricks, bribes. I now send him to his room but that turns into a fight. This is after him pulling the wallpaper off by the wall where his calm down space was.

He will not leave his baby brother alone. (20 months) he mawls him, leans on him, constantly tries to pick him up, baby cries, DS2 carries on, like he doesnt care!

It's driving me mental!!

Other than his baby brother and new games, is there anything else he is interested in? I will admit that we tend to use DS2's obsession for the Wii, DS, & laptop as rewards. I'm not above bribery positive reinforcement.

My dd is always out on her trampoline. She also plays footy and does taekwondo so actually gets little time in the house to wreak havoc! She doesn't tend to upturn everything but she is soooo messy she will get feltpen/makeup/paint on her carpet covers the bathroom in water during a bath and trys to dismantle toys to see how they work!

I've convinced myself once we sort his sleep out things will be better. Once again sat outside his bedroom door so he stays in there n doesn't wake the other two up. Wish I had a landing big enough for a sofa or at least nice thick comfy carpet.

Feel like the worst mum in the world because I don't like or enjoy being round him

Your not the worst mum in the world!!

Its hard, really bloody hard. Is your ds on meds? Are any proffessionials (sp?) involved? Is your GP involved, anyone that could ease the situation in any way?

God knows i dont like my own ds at times, he makes me angry, frustrared, exhausted...the list goes on. This is the worst time of year. Im always scared that i could crack during the summer hols or Xmas hols. So exhausting & stressful.

Dont beat yourself up, its hard enough.

Summer holidays are hard here too. DS2 is pinging off the walls like he's in a pinball machine, even when we keep him busy. He is currently sitting in time out, but not horribly willingly. We are slowly implementing new methods of discipline and new slightly stricter rules, as we've had some behaviour recently that we're not happy with from him (and his brother, to be fair).

We have an appointment with the paed coming up, and I'm going to ask about something to help him get to sleep at night, as he literally takes hours to shut down (and it's gradually getting worse). It does mean that he's actually getting up at 6 am, rather than his previous 4 or 5 am, but my god, I'd rather get up early than spend between 2-4 hours answering a zillion questions and repeatedly telling him to get back into bed and quit waking up his 3yo brother by talking and shouting to him.

No advice but you sound like a great Mum. I just cannot imagine how hard and how tiring it must be for you. I am not surprised you have times when it's all a bit much. Is there anyway you can get more help? I hope things work out ok for you and your family.

Melatonin for helping ds get to sleep. great stuff.

That's what we are waiting for. Though dh managed to get him in bed and asleep by 7 n he's been up twice

Another bad day, still waiting to hear from Consultant about meds. He was up LOADS last night even though he was in bed early. We are going around in circles.

I have had enough. I am trying so hard not to lose it today.

He kicked me