I am too tired today to take my child to something that is supposed to give me break

[OwlLady]

and the truth of the matter is it doesn't give me a break it actually makes me even more tired.

It's that far away that i spend a couple of hours milling around or sitting in the car in a town that hasbugger all to do in it.

I really think these bastards from social services need shooting

Oh, poor you. I know the feeling. We have often fought for provision and after less than a term fought to get out of it!!!

feeling your pain here, DD has had playscheme this week which is nice but they came to pick her up at 8am and so we are all exhausted, she doesn't sleep well.

wow you got transport for playscheme we have to transport and pay , well unless you are a foster carer that is

why is that

I ask what would they do if I couldn't drive? it's never a question that's answered

yes, i shouldn't complain really, read a document though that they are going to start asking people to provide their own transport...I can't drive so that will be an issue for me.

no, i didn't mean you shouldn't complain. It's that relentlessness of never having time off like everyone else seems to. i try not to compare but when you are so tired out it just becomes a bit pitiful and it's so hard not to.

I really resent that driving to a group 30 minutes from home for a 2 1/2 group is classed as 'respite' for us though when actually it's really limiting and gives my other children absolutely no time to do anything. I think it's unrealistic

2 1/2 hr group, should say

the playscheme at ds's school finished today (it ran for 4 hours a day for two weeks). Luckily school is a 10-15 minute drive away so I did get other stuff done.
But last week he went to a social services activity as well (I messed up) so I was shattered, and like Owl, ended up sitting in the car reading!

Owllady, I know you didnt mean I shouldn't, but I shouldnt anyway, it would be worse if we didn't get transport :)

our playscheme has finished as well we got 2 days a week for three weeks

It's hard though isnt when you have a child that is quite happy to stay at home and honestly we would never leave the house if it were up to her, but you need to get out for the other childrens sakes and it's weighing up whether for an hour or two it's worth it

Used to have to take DD on bus to nursery and back for a 2 hour session, which was hardly worth it.

She is actually the opposite, is impossible in the house so I have to quell my stay at home tendencies and go out all the time

I read all these benefit threads and articles in shitty newspapers about carers not working etc etc and honestly I don't know how they expect you to. I do 15-25 hours term time a week and then in the holidays it's reduced to 8hrs and I am really struggling. I just think i ought to jack it in but then i feel bad about it iykwim

Snap, I do 9 hours a week and have been wondering if I should leave for about 3 years. It is good to do something out of house though I think.

yes that's the only reason i am carrying on with it atm as in the holiday it's the only time I get to speak to any other adults (apart from dh that is)

Yes, I am happy to go to work in the holidays...term time not so much.

I know exactly how you feel wrt travel and respite.
DD has been going to holiday club for 2 days a week. She is there for 6 hrs - but I have to take her and pick her up. It is 18 miles each way. So each time she goes I drive 72 miles (2 hrs driving in total)
plus the 10 miles I drive to go to the gym whilst DD is not at home (opposite direction!) I also pay £15 per day for the holiday club.

But unless I do this, there is nothing for DD to do and she would not see any other children from school for 6 weeks.

She also gets occasional overnight respite for which we are extremely grateful - but it means me driving 56 miles on a Friday evening to drop her off and the same again on Monday morning to collect her.

The number of hours 'respite' that I actually get is far less than Social Care have on record!!!!

bligbluebus, that is exactly the situation we are in

I don't get oevrnights though. i am supposed to but no-one suitable can be found

we were classed as "urgently requiring overnights" but the waiting list is 4 years here

I'm now at the stage of the summer holidays of being completely unable to socialise with any NT families. Although like fanjo we have to go out everyday.

Unfortunately ds1 is bored with the computer so does nothing at gone other than cause trouble! He is bored stiff.

yes, DD is the same, she just goes round house climbing and emptying drawers and being aimlessly restless and slightly whingy

We have in the past been given 'respite' that, as for many of you, was so demanding for me it was anything but respite. I quit and told social services why, they squirmed and found me something better. Now I am part of a trial for personalised budgets for children, apparently it's how we'll all be doing it by 2014. It lovely to plan the dream respite, I'm just not so sure it can be delivered.

What is it about emptying drawers and boxes Fanjo! Ds is an emptier too.
Ds had 2 x5 hour sessions at play club last week and the driving (+trying to do all the clearing up from said emptying) has worn me out. I am greatful because I cannot take ds swimming and one session each week ( we have 3 weeks of playscheme) is swimming. I managed to scratch the car after his last pick up having tried to add buying ds new shoes to our day ( madness especially as I was very tired). Car behind in car park queue started beeping at someone - ds started shouting extra loud and I tried to whip into a too tiny space next to a piller. Think I am getting noise defensive too.