ASD and rough treatment at school

[PurpleChicken]

I'm a very sporadic poster and have name-changed for this. I do use mumsnet quite a lot though and wanted to know what people think of the following:

My son is in year 3 and has ASD. He exhibits very challenging behaviour at times and can be aggressive. He had a meltdown today at school and it took several teaching staff to restrain him by holding him down on the floor. One of them pushed his head into the floor and banged it, causing swelling and a bruise. We only found out later that night how it had occurred.

Is this what we should expect in schools? The school are saying they have to deal with him like this because he can be aggressive. The thing is, in the right environment with people who understand ASD triggers, he is like a docile little puppy - any behaviour at the school is treated with by shouting and naughty corners, which escalates him to the incident that happened today.

I don't have rose-coloured glasses and know what meltdowns can be like to handle. We tried the collaborative approach with the school by sitting down with them and working out a safety plan, but it all appears to have gone in the bin.

I feel like they've given up on him.

Totally unacceptable have they been trained in restraint? Are these restraints documented? Have you signed to give them permission to use restraint? Is your son statemented? Does he have input from an ed psych or Autism Outreach? I'm furious on your behalf tbh that your poor boys needs aren't being met and he is being injured because the school are failing to support him properly .

I don't think they are trained in restraint, but they have been trained in defense techniques. He is in a special needs unit and has the equivalent of a statement (we don't live in the UK). He said that one teacher held his body down, another held his legs, and another held his head - then banged it into the floor.

We had a meeting at the school a few months ago when something similar happened, and we stressed how he needs to be addressed calmly and quietly. He's like a frightened rabbit as soon as people raise their voices or grab him.

The goading thing, I've thought that too. It's almost as if they've washed their hands of him and don't want to try to make things work. We've had a new carer pick him up from school in the past few weeks and she is a calm, patient person with only a little ASD experience. She's got him eating out of her hand already and it really contrasts with the tutting and eye-rolling we get at school when they talk about him.

Yes, you need a meeting with school about this ASAP

I dont think it is at all acceptable. If they are trained in restraint I cant see that it took so many anyway.

Meltdowns can be spur of the moment yes but normally there is a trigger for it? or a build up to it?

If DS is shouted at or a voice raised it immediately causes him to panick and confuses his line of thought.

With the naughty corners and shouting it sounds to me like yes they are goading and possibly a battle of wills to MAKE him go to the naughty corner hence the shouting?

I would meet and I would ask to see their restraint training for everyone that held him and I would tell them the positive response that he has with the calm new carer and could they try that approach as opposed to shouting.

Ds attends a specialist school where staff are very well trained in restraint and it is used very infrequently. Any time when t is used is documented and it is always the minimal amount of intervention. I think you need to get some expert help for your ds school so they know what is the right way to respond.

sounds awful unacceptable response from the staff which must have been very distressing for poor ds

An update - we met with the school yesterday and they agreed that things could have been dealt with better and that mistakes were made. I feel a bit happier (but not totally happy) and that he'll be safe there when he goes back next week.

Thanks for all your responses - it's really hard when you are up against a large number of people telling you that restraint in this manner is OK, and I really wanted to check with other parents if it was acceptable or not.