Managing/disciplining SN children?

[r3dh3d]

DD1 has just turned 2. Developmentally she's about 7-8 months though her motor skills aren't bad and she's confidently walking, pulling saucepans off the cooker, knives off the worktop, etc. etc.

And that's the problem. She doesn't understand the word "no" (though a recent breakthrough is that if you say "no" she shakes her head - used to just touch her nose which was a misunderstanding it took a while to clear up...) and won't stop what she's doing unless you physically restrain her. If you do finally lose your rag and shout at her, she loves it. There is no way that's she's advanced enough for any sort of reward system, she just doesn't "get" it. All the toddler taming type books work on the assumption that you withdraw attention - but she doesn't need other people at all, in fact it would probably be a reward.

Firstly, who do I turn to for advice on this? (Other than you lovely ladies, that is?) I've asked our Paediatrician how we should manage her and she just looked panicked and changed the subject. Secondly, if anyone else has/had similar issues, how did you handle them? I don't want to get to the point where she's 16 and towers over me and I'm still trying to restrain her physically - she'll end up in a padded cell. Or I will!

I know how difficult this is. My dd is severely disabled and so even when she has been "naughty" it has been hard to tell her off as we have been so pleased she can do whatever it is, Now we are reaping the reward!!!!
I do hope someone will be able to help you and will read the posts hoping they might give me some ideas.

yep- ds1 loves being told off. Something that can work is to use a very neutral but form no and put him outside the room for 10 seconds. Alternatively we turn him away from us for a short period.

We're still having problems woth pinching. A psych suggested redirecting it to more appropriate behaviour- eg a handshake as iugnoring hasn't worked. We haven't had much success- but school has.

As she gets older telling her what to do (eg hands down) rather than what not to do may work. Also we use a lot of countdowns- which achool always visually reinforce, we do sometimes. Countdown then finished 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- prob used that from about age 3. Also use reinforcement- eg this morning he wouldn't get dressed- so I held out a choc button and said "dressed 1st then button".

ds1 is 7- receptive language about 18 months I would guess.

Are you introducing PECS? It helps!

And if you can reinforce her NOT doing it that might help. But she might need visual support and/or PECs to understand any of it. DS is now 10.5 and I can say to him severely "stop that" etc and it works but it was years before his language was up to this (and its not my preferred method but it does work!) so before we had to use visual methods and give him cues and prompts etc with OUR behaviour, esp reinforcement. If you can find something she REALLY likes then you are really on the road to being able to do something about it but it can be hard to find something!