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SN children

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Original poster

What age where your DC's potty trained?

15 replies

Vagaceratops · 06/08/2012 12:12

And how long did it take?

We are on day 3 of proper no-nappies trying, and its going horribly. I have managed to get DS2 (5 with ASD and speech delay) to sit on the toilet without much fuss, but he doesnt seem to want to do anything on it.

How many times did you stop and start again? If we are stuck in the house much longer (the garden isnt good enough apparently) he is going to go crazy.

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insanityscratching · 06/08/2012 13:35

Ds (ASD) was just before he was eight, we had tried repeatedly with no joy, one day he took off the pull up and used the toilet and that was it.
Dd (ASD) was almost five but trained by building toilet stops into her routine we had no accidents it was more than six months before she'd go outside of the routine though.

auntevil · 06/08/2012 14:41

DS1 trained by 3.7 (dyspraxia SPD) - 4 or 5 serious previous attempts which were quite horrific, then he just got it.
DS2 (NT - anxiety issues) - currently7.3 - still not there with daily soiling
DS3 (NTish - school have advised a referral) currently 5, better than DS2 but not quite yet.
A firm believer in keeping a good toiletting routine (see sites such as ERIC) - and not over stressing that it has to be done by a certain age. There are so many extenuating circumstances, normal potty training doesn't always apply.

ouryve · 06/08/2012 14:50

DS1 - 7.5 and 5 years of 2 steps forward, 2 steps back culminating in a hell of a lot of bribery to work on his stumbling point, which was pooing in the loo. He was 8.5 before he was confidently dry at night.

DS2 is 6, not interested and not ready to push.

WarmAndFuzzy · 06/08/2012 15:06

DS1 (ASD) was about 4.1 (only just before school). Totally dry and clean at night by 5.

DS2 (ASD, dyspraxia) was about 5.6 and well into school but when he got it he was dry at night too within a couple of months. We were trying for about 2 years before that on advice of nursery and school, but he just wasn't ready.

With DS2 I went as far as taking him to a paediatric nurse specialising in toiletting problems and she was very reassuring, saying that for soiling/wetting during the day they only start seeing them at around age 5 (ASD and NT), and at night not before age 7. She also gave us a few pointers (which we tried for a bit, gave up, and he just did it anyway a bit later)

Original poster

Vagaceratops · 06/08/2012 15:47

When you were training, how long did you give it before you realised it just wasnt going to work this time? Also, did you go straight to pants only?

I got a book on toilet training children with development delays but its making me feel awful, like any failure is all my fault.

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Original poster

Vagaceratops · 06/08/2012 15:48

To put it into context, we started on Saturday afternoon. We had 7 accidents on Saturday, 10 Sunday and so far we have had 7 today.

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Original poster

Vagaceratops · 06/08/2012 15:52

We have had no wee's on the toilet.

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mymatemax · 06/08/2012 16:06

ds2 was dry just before starting school so about 4.5 however he had a total refusal to sit on a loo or potty or anything that resembles (I had all manner of trainer seats, potties & disguises) & would go & get a nappy to tell us he needed a poo, but he does only go about every 3 days so not a problem. He overcame his loo phobia at about 7.5yrs

Night time he was about 8 before he was dry

auntevil · 06/08/2012 17:34

To be honest, I had a few attempts like that and after less than a week gave up. The HV advised that we leave a good month or so between tries as it gets the last try out of their system first before starting on a new plan.
We only started at times that we thought that they realised that 'something' was happening. Not really much point before the recognition stage.
As far as pants go, it is said in most advice that pants are better as they make the wearer more aware that they have been as it is uncomfortable. Pull-ups nappies etc, keep them dryer so there is less incentive.
This of course is for a child that is bothered if they feel damp/soiled. Some children are completely oblivious/sensory seeking etc and don't have any problem with playing out in the garden soiled and damp (DS2 - Are you listening!!)
So I guess I'm saying whatever works for your DS. There is no 1 book for toilet training, and as we all know, there is no one size fits all SN training book, or we would all be sorted!So don't let the book make you feel bad. Use any bits which you think your DS could work with - you know him best, not the book! If you feel that this is not the right time for him, and you are doing it because it is the summer holiday, supposedly sunny, so easy for drying clothes, no school etc etc, you might want a re-think.

Shagmundfreud · 06/08/2012 19:57

DS2 (asd) trained himself at 26 months. It's the only thing at which he has savant like abilities.

2 other dc's (nt) were dry at night by 24 months and fully potty trained by 30 months, despite my haphazard and disorganised attempts at potty training.

I honestly think with mine it's some weird genetic mutation - their brain wee-wiring just works that way.

Ilovecake1 · 06/08/2012 21:15

Hi, give it time and I am sure he will get there!!! I never thought we would but one day it just happened from nowhere!! At 3 she was dry in the night but refused to do anything in the toilet...but had the ability to hold! I did read somewhere that being dry in the night before day is common for children with ASD. I used to try for about a week every 6 weeks. The week it all came together-I had done a PECS strip with 5 pics on it (first pulling undies down, second sitting on the toilet, etc).We started on the Sunday and had accidents all week no pee or no2 in the toilet but I would put her to sit on the toilet every hour for a couple of minutes while reading a book or playing with a toy!! On the Monday she was wearing nappies but I would still put her toilet and she did a pee...3 times that day. Within a week she was wearing undies at all times and have hardly had any accidents!! I know this post is very long but I honestly thought it was never going to happen but out of the blue it did and please don't try to worry to much as I am sure it will all come good in the end. My daughter is a visual leaner and I am very sure it was the PECS strip that really helped her and made toilet training a success. Good luck

Twowillbefine · 06/08/2012 22:16

DS1 - ASD - was dry during the day at 4.6. We'd had a few goes at it but stopped after a day or so when it just seemed to be upsetting him. Pull-ups were useless; he never saw the difference from nappies. Not sure whether his verbal development (was non-verbal until just after 4) also helped. CAHMS support was hugely helpful to talk through issues and plans, plus helped with a social story and a toilet keyring (great idea but not used). Also the time it stuck we did a countdown where we crossed out days over about a week to "no more nappies".

And finally on the day itself, a slow start until DP was inspired to put potty in the bath which did the trick and we managed to move to the loo fairly easily after that. Also he never did sitting down wees - much more comfortable standing up. Had fewer than a handful of accidents after that. Really did persuade me that it all comes in time.

Was in night-time nappy until about 5.4. We talked about "no more night time nappy" and one night he asked not to put one on and i leapt at the opportunity. Again only a couple of accidents after that.

Genuinely believe that timing is key. He still does poos in a nappy (sitting on the toilet) at 5.9 but I know he will make the change in his own time.

Whoops - an epic. Sorry.

coff33pot · 06/08/2012 22:19

DS was just over 4.5 when he was dry during the day. The potty training side was hell and he wasnt interested. Then he just took it off at nursery one day and went although he still has a fear of actually sitting on the toilet and will only go by placing his feet either side of the seat and crouching!

No joy at night time yet and he is 7.

bonzaii · 06/08/2012 23:36

my ds was 2 and half so think about average or early, only thing that he seemed to just get, bed time he was dry at 3 but going through a rough patch and is now back in nappies for bed, tonight he as soaked a nappy through to the sheets and he was bone dry 4 weeks ago, no idea why hes done this?

lac13ma1 · 07/08/2012 01:08

My DD was 3 (more nearer to 4) had the potty just hanging round in the living room for ages, didnt make a fuss of it. used to pretend play with her dolls e.t.c and then one day she decided she dosen't wear nappies anymore and has been dry by day and night since, (had a the odd accident if she is really unwell)

But my friends LO will be 4 in sept ( no development delay) She started training him a too early (as she says) i think he was about 2.5 and there are days when he comes out of nursery with a bag with 10 different wet trousers in.
DD has never done that.
So it just goes to show that every child is very different, And if they are not ready then you just have to wait. Nothing you do can make them learn potty training.
Wouldn't beat yourself up over it though.
just think of it as a nice surise when it does happen.

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