Helping child with Aspergers stand up for themselves

[IvantaOuiOui]

My son is 7 and starting juniors in September. He is mostly a happy child, especially at home, but he has coped well with school. He has been diagnosed as having Aspergers, but fairly low on the spectrum - he doesn't get any extra help at school. He has always managed to have one or two friends, but is scared of another boy who will tell his friends they can't play with him. This was a fairly recent thing towards the end of last term and he is very worried about going back.

He says he is too shy to stand up for himself - he is very quiet at school and will go along with what the others want to do and never assert himself. We've talked a lot about not giving in to bullies, but he just won't/can't stick up for himself. The "bully" is also sometimes quite friendly with him, which confuses my son further. How do you help your kids feel brave enough to defend themselves?

Ds was also a boy that was never going to defend himself in any forceful way. He hasn't got a malicious bone in his body... So would never say anything mean back either.
He attended a summer school at CAMHS and was taught a technique called 'fogging' . He has been Successful for him.
He was told these facts:

1. the bully has said this to other people and this is about the bully... Not you
2. The bully wants to see your reaction .. Don't give him it
3. The message you need to give the bully is...'I am not bothered by anything you say or do'

He had to imagine a huge cloud around him that swallowed up insults so they did not touch him. Then if targetted ,he had to say something neutral in a bored voice..."whatever" , "if you say so","well you could be right" "maybe"... Or yes that's true, I do wear glasses" etc etc

We did lots of' bored voice 'practice. He still blanks people who are horrible in any way. Once he got to secondary he rarely had a problem tbh... Primary was worse.