not strictly SN but bedtime accidents started again

[worrysome]

Ive mentioned before that ds is 6 and is a sensory seeker, i dont know if this is related to that at all but he never seems to know he needs the toilet until the final minute and its a rush there both for no 1 and 2's. even if i can see he needs i.e holding himself, wiggling etc he will be adamant he dosnt, anyway recently hes started having night accidents again either just a pee or from both ends and when its the other end too if we are lucky it will be (sorry tmi) little solid bits and on a bad time soft poo that goes everywhere! basically i know whats happened right away because i hear him crying in bed he will be sitting up but its like hes not properly awake i have to physically drag him to bathroom and strip him while he wakes and then shower him down. sometimes i hear him crying and hes not had an accident yet and i can carry him to toilet and put him on it but he wouldnt go without my having to do that he would just continue to cry. When this happens i stay calm and make no issue of it just get him cleaned up and change bed etc, ive tried no drinks after dinner time, making sure he goes to toilet before bed etc but i dont know what else to do :(

all 3 of mine have done/still do this. I have one with ASD, one NT and one poss ASD.

what I did with DS1 and DS2 was to physically take them. we had some success with just reminding DS1 that he should go to the toilet before he was desperate (he hates being told what to do) and that did work for a while, but ultimately I got fed up with it!
So I started just frog-marching them to the toilet the moment I noticed it.
I was very matter of fact about it and just said "DS, you need the toilet, we're going now before you wet yourself"
i would pause tv or whatever if they were in the middle of something.

it seems to have worked to some extent, esp with DS1

actually I am re-reading and I'm wondering if you've thought about food intolerances?
my niece was intolerant to milk/wheat and she had the same symptoms of bed-wetting and wetting and soiling during the day. basically she was getting an impaction and then the soft poo was seeping round that and she had no idea she needed to go. not sure why it affected the wee-ing as well, but once they took dairy/wheat out of her diet it all stopped immediately!

This is going to seem really random but it worked for us. Ds was dry from 3yrs - between the ages of 5/6 he started having little bedtime accidents - my dh noticed that when this happened he'd be very sweaty - almost like his body had gone into overdrive expelling toxins. We started doing Epsom salt baths - believe if anything is in bladder or bowel Epsom salts will draw it out. I also stopped putting him in pjs, he wears cotton shorts and tshirts even in winter. I don't know if this was the thing that worked or if ds worked it through himself - but ds doesn't like being hot and sweaty and it was almost like we had to remove all other sensory obstacles so he could concentrate on the essentials

How well does your DS sleep? If he sleeps poorly, it might well be sensory, that he likes the feeling of 'just about to go' but hasn't developed the skills to also get there on time. If he sleeps well I would have thought that it would be less likely to be sensory as he would not be in control and would just wake up as it was happening/happened?
We have had problems with all 3. DS2 (NT - quite a lot of anxieties though) - still wears a pull up at night as he is not aware of soiling. Diet has helped - Gastroenterologist agrees that dairy and gluten removal has helped - mainly in the consistency of what comes out. It might be worth keeping a check on what he has eaten the day or 2 before a messy episode to see if there are any common denominators. At least that might help with more solid accidents when they happen.
DS2 has also been referred for balloon therapy - to try to establish a connection with the physical feeling of needing to go and the neurological side of recognition. Could there be a problem there?Maybe your DS only recognises that he has been when he is wet/soiled - and isn't recognising the physical manifestations of needing to go (neurologically)?

he does seem to know when he has to go but just not until its nearly there, during the day at home he will suddenly run off to the toilet when he needs, if hes busy or preoccupied with something else he will spend more time wiggling and holding, if hes out playing and i see him doing it and i try to make him go to toilet and he will cry because he dosnt need (he says) then suddenly will start crying and go running to the loo because he needs NOW. Its a nightmare if we are out and not within 2 mins of a toilet or if someone is in the bathroom, i had to let him pee in the street the other day a big 6 year old i was mortified but he was hysterical.

As for sleep well sleep is alot better than it used to be, it takes him a good hour maybe more to settle he talks and sings himself to sleep he cant NOT do that he has to talk, he dosnt need a lot of sleep and is an early riser but will resettle through the night now.

Temperature wise ds is always hot unless hes cold (i know!) he never wants to wear coats jumpers etc and is usually always hot but will shiver and cry in the fridge aisles in shops hates going from one temp to another, when it comes to bed time we go through periods of wanting to sleep with no pj's to wanting to sleep with them and socks and slippers dosnt seem to be connected to the weather either just him