What to do :(

[coff33pot]

DS as some of you know has not been able to to back out to play outside. He has done a Houdini 3 times this week and one night it was 10.30pm before I found him as some children took him to a park a LONG way away from my house.

I have locked the front door and everyone who goes out locks it behind them. I have padlocked the back which will land me in a whole lot of shit from the neighbours from hell who havent moved yet or sold as there is a right of way between us.

Today he climbed out of the extension window and up to now I have no idea HOW he got out other than risking breaking his neck with a 7ft drop :(

I go out and see another little boy crying with DS standing there and one other child all same age.

I immediately ask if the little boy is ok as it would be rare if DS had hit but needed to know. He said yes but he is not allowed to play with DS and if DS doesnt go away his mum will make him go in :( So there I am torn between my DS with his straight face because it hasnt hit and this little boys equally sad face.

Now I have brought DS in and secured the house and in precisely 45 mins he has gone from quiet to locking himself in the bathroom and exploded, currently throwing stuff out of the bathroom windo and I cant get in there. 14 year olds are outside telling him to just escape and come out to play from accross the gardens, so now he has an audience of the wrong kind. I take it what the boy said has just hit him. WHERE has this sudden anger come from?

I HATE AUTISM RIGHT NOW

I can't remember how old he is, coff, but the only answer really is supervision. If you think it is inappropriate for you or a family member to be supervising ds with peer group due to age considerations, then you need to go back and start campaigning for a mentor/ respite worker to take him out and help him negotiate peer group interactions appropriately.

Local nas should have a fairly good idea of the best route to youth supervision locally. I know a fair few teens who have workers that are really very good at accompanying them out and about unobtrusively. It can be better to start with specific activities/ reasons to go out rather than just hanging around, but a lot accompany to youth clubs/ rec centers, where a large amount really is just hanging out with peers.

Your local youth associations may have some ideas on how to get supervision, too.

(the other boy might have been told not to play with him because his mum knows he's not allowed out, btw. If I knew a kid wasn't allowed out of the house (for whatever reason) mine would be not not to play with him. It doesn't have to be that he isn't allowed to play with ds because he's dangerous/ different...)

Thanks Madwoman DS is 7 so still at the accompanying stage but wont buy it if I took him out in the street iyswim. He is fine in soft play and out with me on trips etc and great with adults.

The little boy told me that his mum said he cant play with DS because the other boys (older) told her he is naughty all the time. I am gutted as he was invited along with one other friend to a softplay for DS bday and they had a great time. First time he had friends out with him too. DS thinks the world of this boy so much so as he is foreign he wanted to try and learn some of his language as he said its not fair he has to speak english all the time.

I dont know. I think its the anger thats worrying me as yes he used to meltdown but not like this and be so cocky with it. It has damaged him going out so I have myself to blame for that as now he has tasted freedom he wants it. But its very hard to explain to him that his actions will put people off playing with him if he runs off or carrys on running away from me outside which apart from embarrassing its down right disheartening.

There is Dreadnought Centre here but there is a 6 month waiting list for the autism group and a longer one for the ADHD club and I am still waiting the forms for that.

I am also wondering if further down the line he will need meds if he is getting so agitated now that he wont listen and that is not what I want for him but I have to honestly say I am out of ideas.

If he's only 7 he's too young for befrienders and such. That can come later. I'd invite the boy and his mum out to soft play, next time. then she can make her own mind up.

I'd be frankly livid at the goading by 14yos. And I'd have been round the houses of the youths who kidnapped him until 1030pm, too. As well as having contacted the local police.

Get him on the list for cubs and ask if they can provide a venture scout or similar who needs to do some community volunteering. You never know, you might be lucky and hook up with a responsible teen who wants to earn some holiday money...

School hols are sooooooo much fun.

Coff, is your place rented or mortgage? If the former, all documented problems can help in moving out of this nasty-neighbours zone

nooo we have a mortgage so are tied here unfortunately. Been here 15 years and its been fine till now. I just had one boy on the doorstep saying he was sorry because he saw me in tears the last time I was chasing him. So I suppose that was something and I asked him to please tell the others not to goad DS as he doesnt understand due to his autism and he has told me he has to escape to keep friends. The boy looked shocked but did say sorry again and said he will speak to the others heres hoping.

Just looking up window locks and window restricters they are not too expensive. Lost the keys on the two downstairs ones so need to do something and perhaps the restricters will still allow us some air on a bad day :)

Oh and he did go to Beavers but it has stopped for the summer plus they are looking into funding for a 1 to1

You can buy new keys from certain places. There is a website

www.windowhandlekeys.co.uk/

You just have to email them a pic of the handle and they will do the rest. I have just bought these

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/310314823744?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1497.l2649

Do I know when DS is trying to go