HELP! letter received from LA Chief Ex - Star, Agnes and anyone else who can help

[claw4]

Ds was signed off of school by my GP due to self harming. SA was refused and im appealing.

I wrote to LA chief ex, asking how they intended to provide ds with an education. They have replied stating they have been in contact with my GP and asked him why he made this recommendation and what level of education he felt was appropriate for ds at this time.

Apparently my GP then wrote stating that ds is now well enough to attend school. (without consulting me or even seeing ds again)

Wet, i wont let the letter go undisputed, i just feel that i dont have a lot to gain from 'officially' complaining, especially as i havent yet established whether this letter exists. Say if i complain officially and the LA then produce a letter from GP and my GP then states he doesnt remember ever having a verbal conversation with me.

Professionals lie just as much as the LA to cover their arses. My GP knows he shouldnt disclose information without my permission.

I feel i have to cover all bases, before and if i complain.

Lets face it its much easier to be sensible when its not your own child and fewer emotions involved. much less calm when its my LA and my DS!

Hi Agnes SW is saying that Ds MUST go back to school in September, she threatened in a nice way to raise it to a 'level 2' if he didnt, while adding its 'up to me if i want SS involved or not'. She is also insisting on a CAF assessment. I have expressed that i see this as pointless and told her i would decide what i want once i receive the outcome of their visit. She then told me i wouldnt receive an outcome unless i agree to the CAF, as the purpose of the CAF would help them decide the outcome!

They are basing 'gnat bites' on what ds told them, when asked why he scrathes, he said he scratches when he gets bitten by gnats, which of course he does. He took the question very literally. He also told her he is happy in school and has friends.

So she has concluded that ds's version of events is the same as schools and my 'story' of self harming and anxiety does not match with ds's story. Given that my GP has now 'written' stating that ds is now well enough to attend school, he MUST attend, as i have no 'evidence' to suggest otherwise.

Ds going back in September is something that my solicitor advised, he was suggesting a different school, but to be honest i dont see what difference WHICH school it is makes. If he attended a different school his behaviour would be put down to 'change' anyhow.

Also attending CAMHS while out of school would be pointless, as CAMHS would not then be able to report on the cause of his anxieties as they did last time.

The SS are making threats, once they have got your ds back in school then they will be happy because that is their remit. Is it the 1989 childrens act that says that an adult who forces a child to do something they know that child does not want to do is in effect abusing that said child?

My daughter was out of school for a period as the school were not meeting her needs and causing er anxiety, SS tried every threat under the Sun but I had documented evidence of her difficulties and at that time the GP's support prior to seeing CAMHS for her.
The LA did agree to a statement after a judge ruled that we were not guilty of taking our daughter out of school illegally. Can you ring emergency CAMHS or similar if you have them for advice?

Hi Claw,

Am camping, so on phone ATM and not easy to post, but wanted you to know that I've seen this. I too would have been certain from your OP that the GP had written no such letter (similar fabrications are what got SWs involved remember).

This is horrendous for you and I'm sorry, but you're nearly there. Keeping them all at bay instead of taking them on right now is probably the only way you'll manage to stay focussed on the outcome, but do consider where a timely complaint will add to your evidence base for your outcome. Also, you need to ensure you are in possession of all relevant documentation. I would get this from the LA rather than GP. If you do need the GP files, be as reasonable and polite as you can be.

This is horrible because it is the final push, so all guns are out. What concerns me now though is that a statement on it's own won't improve things for your DS without staff who are supportive, even reluctantly.

If you can get enough of the documentation together, and show evidence of verbal bullshit by writing to clarify it, and showing breakdown of relationships etc. you may be able to get an alternative
to state mainstream. That could be an independent for small class sizes or one of the more academic independent SS. Ask your solicitor about your chances of this.

For the record, I usually say that decisions and behaviours of these people is not personal, but I'm afraid in your case it is. I expect you know that.

Really sorry you are being bullied by this lot. Personally I would send him back after doctors appointment to confirm sores are now clear. As soon as a sore appears go back to go and get it in his notes that it is not a gnat bite. Continue to seek medical advice on any evidence of self harm and also continue with statement process. Maybe move schools once they are off your back. I know this is a shit solution but I agree that escalating your complaints will make them dig in their heels and be more difficult. I would however send letters back confirming that they are incorrect ie stating that doctor does not believe ds has gnat bites and that he does not recall writing to say ds now fit for school. I would also add that now sores have cleared up following treatment ds will return to school but obviously you will be monitoring the effect on any self harming and will be continuing to seek statutory assessment. maybe finish with sickly I hope we can work together to help ds to feel secure and make progress in school.

Wassup, if i told ds today you are going back to school tomorrow, he would say 'ok' and go. He would do whatever anyone asked of him, without much protest, whether it was something he wanted to do or not.

But i would notice the signs of anxiety, he would stop eating, he would have difficulty sleeping, he would have stomach ache, feel sick. He would go to his room and constantly line things up for hours on end, write constant lists and of course scratch his skin causing sores. He would develop tics, sometimes movement tics or sometimes vocal tics (these usually develop when he is unable to line things up or write lists) He gets very figdetty, very tearful, very fearful of doing something wrong etc.

He does all of these things in school, all of which have been observed by every expert who has ever been into school. His class teacher has even reported these to the experts when asked.

But yet school are still insisting they see no signs of anxiety.

Ds has a referal to CAMHS, as i stated earlier, i have to be very careful not to appear 'over anxious' requesting emergency this or that, just makes me appear 'over anxious'

Hi Star, you are brave camping in this weather!

I think i have come to terms with ds will have to go back to a school, whether it be a new school or his old school, makes no difference to me at this point, as i would have to move him once he got a statement anyhow. However for ds a school that he is familar with ie his current school is probably the better option, he really does struggle with any kind of change.

The only down side is they will continue to not understand his difficulties, which if im honest i think any school would struggle with as ds is extremely passive and desperately tries not to stand out.

So come September he can go back, im just worried about this CAF. Apparently it will be a multi team meetings with all the professionals involved in ds's care. There are no professionals involved in ds's care! He is not under CAMHS, Paed, SALT or OT. So im assuming this multi team meeting will involve SS, school and me!

ZZZZ and Cansu thank you both. I have passed everything over to my solicitor and will wait for their advise before i do anything. But i like to know what my options are, my solicitor just gives me the best tactical advice. I find it extremely helpful to talk to people who have first hand experience of what i am facing and to know what my options are. Most of you guys have been there and done it already.

Claw, we're heading your way I think if you fancy meeting up in the next couple of weeks!? Although I'm not exactly certain where a) you live and b) where we're going. We've just left Weymouth heading East going round the coast until we get to the Thames before heading back into London. Are you on route?

Sorry, but can't seem to Initiate PMs on this phone, only reply, so if you're around, PM me and I can PM back!!!

Hi Star, pmed you where abouts i am

Ok so ask solicitor - perhaps just ask for the GP evidence from LA for now. And FOI for the files. Then see what happens. They are going to be more desperate than you to get DS back to school so are likely to be chasing you. You can just not reply about going back to school for a while.
Take your DS back to GP just before school and then once back in school if self harm returns.
I would probably agree to CAF but suggest that it is postponed until CAMHS have seen your DS again on the basis that their input is required. You want to be co-operative but as you say little point having a CAF with no professionals.

Solicitor has said they will draft a letter for me and thanks Agnes, i will get my gp to keep a record.

LA are just using SS and CAF to gain information. SS asked about whether my GP had seen ds, i told them that ds refused, so i had taken pictures to show him. LA then write to GP asking how ds 'presented' when he examined him.

Still i can just make a list of all recommendations made by experts and ask school how they are meeting those. They will say they do not need to follow most of these recommendations as ds copes perfectly well without them.

In fact im wondering Agnes, if i get my independent EP, OT, SALT etc to assess prior to the CAF, if they can then attend CAF meeting?

Claw, in all honesty you are handling this all bloody brilliantly. If provision coukd be awarded for parental merit alone you'd receive twice yearly private respite jetting to the Bahamas.

I'm so sorry you are going through this bit know that the more sensible and rationale and reasonable your requests the more Ot challenges the status quo and the dire level of professionalism some LAs are still getting away with.

I doubt individually these people are evil, but collectively the convenience of the allegations is just too tempting to resist when faced with the alternative challenge to the service they deliver and the fibre and meaning of their lives. It's personal but it's not personal iyswim. It is however, absolutely disgraceful and more disgraceful still, not uncommon.

We've never had a CAF so tbh I don't know what they are for.
I think I would try and get through it by saying as little as possible or just trying to stick to a script as you say of recommendations.
When do they want it? You could try and delay it without looking too suspicious e.g. using the CAMHS referral.
I would be wary of producing your own evidence. They aren't going to listen anyway and may just see it as a way of you trying to stitch up a case to support yourself (they always take the view private experts can be bought, whereas of course their own are independent).
I would just say as little as you can until the appeal - where are you with that? Have you appealed and waiting for their response?
I think I would just hit them with any reports once they have had to put in their response - especially as its likely to be on the lines of all this is in Mum's head. As you say they are digging for information so the less you give them the better.

Thanks everyone for all your good advice and support. Im off now for a couple of days to do some planned things with the family. Thanks again.

Star i did pm you my whereabouts and i will be back Monday, if you do end up in my area, you are more than welcome to stop by

Good idea Agnes, if i can stall until appeal, then if they agree a CAF would be pointless or at least carry my weight my way. They are talking about CAF in September, but i will use CAMHS as you say. My appeal should be ready to be sent any day now, solicitor is preparing draft for me. So i would say it should be sent next week.

Thanks again Agnes for the great advice. I really must go now, lots to do.