Olympics - how four years have flown

[appropriatelyemployed]

I was listening to the radio in the car today and they were talking about how people can chart their lives by the Olympics (like the World Cup I suppose) in the sense of reflecting on what you were doing 4 years ago.

That made me think and then make me feel a little sick at the thought of how my life had changed.

Four years ago, DS was 5, undiagnosed, problems had surfaced but I still had no idea there was anything properly 'wrong'. I had no idea about special needs, statements, Ombudsmen etc etc

Four years on, I can't believe what has happened: dozens of appointments with largely pointless interventions, one Tribunal, thousands of pounds spent, 6 months spent home schooling, three schools before the age of nine, complaints to three Ombudsmen, LGO lying to me and a deceitful, dysfunctional LA who still can't issue an annual review within eighteen months of the issue of a statement - not worth taking that one to the LGO I think

I feel my life, even as a criminal lawyer, was entirely rose-tinted before I started dealing with this rotten system and the completely ethic-less bastards within it.

But it made me promise myself that, in four years time, I will have done something to contribute towards exposing this appalling web of deceit.

I feel a blog coming on - a naming and shaming blog. Sue me you LGO bastards if you dare!

4 years ago we had just started the dx process with dd2, dd1 had just been diagnosed with AS. Dd2 was non-verbal and non responsive and a pead told us 'there was no hope for her' and 'she would have to go to sn school'. So much has changed over the past 4 years, dd2 is in ms school and i can now talk to her, she's ahead of some of her class mates and is doing great (never thought we would see this day after she was written off by the pead).

Time goes so fast and even though its sad to think what life was like 4 years ago it exciting to thing what it will be like in 4 years time

I was a bit like you AE - had no idea of all the crap and fighting ahead of me.
I bet you'd love to take a to your LA

Four years ago, we were childless and carefree.... Even last year around this time we were happy and expecting Ds2..... In one year, our lives have been turned upside down.. I am not looking forward to the next four years as it means endlessly doing therapy, chasing appointments, arranging schooling for ds1 and watching for signs of ASD like a hawk for DS2.

AE, I really do admire what you and others on this board have done for your dc's. I had the first taste of what's to come in the future with regards to LEA's.

ds1 was offered a place at a specialist "ASD resource nursery" attached to a mainstream nursery last month. I went to see what it was like and was appalled to see it was one room in the whole nursery no bigger than a ordinary bedroom for five children who had ASD/AS and that was it, one fucking room while the rest of the kids had different rooms for each activity, numeracy, alphabets, crafts etc. I was speechless. Was told that the place would be withdrawn if we applied for a statement as statemented kids don't go there. It just clicked to me this is just designed to scare parents into not applying for a statement as most don't really have any other choice. Needless to say he won't be going there as I have applied for a SA. But i was just so at the unfairness of it all.

sorry that was long, anyhow if you did need any support in the future you can count on me..you only have to ask.

A disgrace dev, an absolute disgrace. We are the ones they call 'pushy' or are told we have 'sharp elbows' but heaven help those who can't shout loud, their children get bollocks all.

Money, or the lack of it, I understand, but the deceit? Disgraceful. The ignorance of oversight bodies and their highly paid Assistant Ombudsmen who don't even know the basics of the law they are supposed to apply? Appalling.

4 years ago next weekend, we took dd for a weekend stay at a respite home where they nearly killed her and started a downward spiral that led us to where we are now.

She arrived Thursday, that night I got a call to tell me they had "accidentally" pulled out her gastrostomy tube but were able to replace it. Fair enough... it had never happened in my care, but i guess it does happen. When we picked her up Monday afternoon, she looked like hell. I looked at her med sheets and there was a dose of paracetamol on Sunday for a "tube replacement". I asked why she got it for a tube that was replaced 3 days earlier... apparently, they pulled it out AGAIN on Sunday (we had never been notified). She came home critically dehydrated, as she was not getting the added hydration her pump was programmed to deliver - someone reset the pump the day she arrived to a delivery frequency of 0 hours - no one noticed that they were throwing out as much pedialyte at the end of the day as they hung at the beginning. She had been sitting in soiled nappies so long that she came home bloodied by her own fingernails - scratching at the rash they caused.

I still blame myself for that weekend - we chose to take her to the respite home, we chose to spend time with ds without dd, and it sped up her deterioration immensely.

But, on a happier note, 7 years ago this weekend, I got married...

Four years ago I was four weeks into my huge gamble of buying my first business. Wanted a local shop for my Uncle to visit me at like he always did and the fact he was unwell I would be close to him and for my DD to never worry about being out of work. My DS was 3.

I was working in an accounts plus trying to find out what was wrong with my DD who was dx with 5 ulcers and hernia due to stress of bullying and collapsed. DH was doing 100 + hours. My DS had his leg fractured in 3 places and then his arm disclocated by some muppet at nursery and my Uncle became ill and needed constant care which fell on me. Three months later he died so I lost my best friend and the only one who really clicked with DS and understood me. Then came chicken pox which affected DS badly and due to him having no tear ducts they filled his eyes and closed the half duct he had in one eye. DD was so ill with it for 6 weeks having the spots outside and all inside.

DS then needed two ops. One to form tear ducts and another a few months later to remove a craft pom pom that he had proudly stuck up his nose and was so small no one knew it was there so it had grown into the inside top and had to be cut out! I have the furry foreign object to show him when he is older!

Then started our concerns with DS the following year when he started school and its all been a struggle ever since.

So I would say 5 years ago it was all good but 4 years ago..........oh boy

I think the usual joke ends with "and then the fight started"

Was waiting for DS to start reception. Knew it would be bad. 4 years and various diagnoses later, just starting to recover.

Omg beemom! Every parents nightmare, leaving your child to be maltreated by incompetence and neglect. SN children are at the mercy of poor care especially if they are non verbal.

4 years ago the struggle hadn't begun but neither had the joy of having DGS . 4 years ago the SN world didn't exist for us and it's a club no one wants to be in but it's made us full of admiration for all the parents who move heaven and earth for their LOs.

You certainly see the best and worst sides of human nature in this world!!