How much time does dc spend on Xbox?

[flowwithit]

My Ds has Dx of AS and we were told that it's normal for him to want to play on Xbox and computer all the time. He is obsessed with minecraft and we are having a lot of trouble trying to get him to do anything else. He is 12yrs. Now it's the holidays I am having to constantly police his time pestering him to take a break. He has timer on Xbox to make him come off but then I will find him on his netbook watching YouTube minecraft tutorials! It's really all he talks about and I am worried its unhealthy esp when it comes to going back to school. I am getting fed up already and it's only been the first week of the holidays!

Sorry posted by mistake
His profile says he is playing on Xbox 6 hrs per day. He isn't on allowed after tea. The rest of his day is on his phone or school netbook playing a similar game or watching tutorials for it.
It's difficult to find activities that are acceptable to him. There are no holiday clubs for secondary school only tennis and he hates them anyway. I used to book him in just so I could have a break and get some work done. I work from home. He also hates shopping walks swimming beaches ect.

6 hours a day is an enormous amount of time IMO. We got rid of our wii because our 6 yr old was similarly obsessed with Lego star wars games. Since getting rid his conversation range is wider and he is playing with several toys not just Lego. I think you need a much stricter, reduced gaming routine or to get rid totally tbh.
Will he design characters for his game on paper instead (don't know the game).

My ds has aspergers too btw. I feel his obsessions need to be limited otherwise he bores the pants off other kids.

Same problem here flow. DS is 15 and we had to have the discussion on Tuesday about him spending too much time on 'screen based' activities. He moves from PS3 to computer to You Tube on mobile phone. He has a friend in the village, but when they get together they also play on screens!!!

In previous holidays, have managed to book him on to outdoor activities such as canoeing or archery, which he has enjoyed, but haven't been able to find anything suitable this year. Have had to prise him outside to spend some time in the sunshine, otherwise he would have spent all week in a darkened room! When I challenge him about always being on screens he says "I'm a teenager, it's what we do"!!!! I guess we are just more concerned due to the AS/ASD. (as I have to admit I have barely seen the 2 teenage boys from next door since the holidays started (but I know they are in there - no doubt glued to their Xbox!!!!!).

No real solution I'm afraid, except that at 12 I think we could 'police' it better than we can at 15. It's just a case of trying to find other activities of interest to get them out of the house (but even then DS has his phone with internet access!!!) Is your DS into Warhammer. I know I have seen posts previously where DCs have gone to Games Workshop to take part. (Sorry don't know anything more about it as it doesn't interest my DS, but it seems to be a popular activity for some with AS/ASD)

I know 6 hrs is too long but he is so lost without it and so all he does is moan for more time. I often say if you do such and such eg sit outside with me for 15 mins to get some sunshine or do some baking with me then he can have more time. I do have to nag all the time and tell him it's unhealthy. It's such a shame all the holiday things round here are for primary age. It seems when they get older everything is just dropped. I have booked a golf lesson but that's only 40 mins in a whole day. I did all the museum, zoo type stuff when they were little but they are not keen now.
He has never really played with anything toy wise and not interested in war hammer. His dx is ASD as they thought his difficulties to be more complex than AS but he is high functioning and at MS school where he has had a very stressful difficult first year. I was relieved at having no school stress but I now feel fed up after only a week!

We have a set limit for screen time, rather than for specific, console/pc/laptop/phone.

Ds is 10 and has AS and he lives for computer games, but is still limited to an hour a day on a school day and an hour and a half at weekends and holidays and that includes all screens bar TV, which he's not all that fussed about anyway.

Could you possibly give him a set level of screen time, but enable him to earn back chunks of time by spending time doing other things?

Ds1 has an Official Nintendo Magazine subscription and is happy to read that and likes predictable book series (like Beast Quest) which can keep him quiet for a while. I also make sure he gets outside for at least a short time every day. He moans like crazy and there's usually a big argument first, but he enjoys himself once he gets out there. He's recently even started throwing the dogs' toys for them and when he gets into that he forgets to moan and ends up staying outside longer.

Ds doesn't really do toys either. He likes beyblades and ninjago, but won't play unless he has someone else to play with and unfortunately his brother is now old enough to vote with his feet when ds has been rude to him for the umpteenth time in that day (that'll be every day then). He also likes the Lego Starwars kits and has very recently started making up his own models from the general lego basket (something he's never done up until now).

He really can't cope with unstructured time during weekends and holidays, as he finds it impossible to decide what to do and it causes him massive anxiety. To get round this we try to keep to a rough schedule, so we have meals at the same time, computer/screen time at the same time and as of next week he'll be doing a typing skills programme, plus half an hour of grammar and punctuation a day - for which he will earn a new Lego Starwars kit in the last week of the holidays.

I think a lot of children who have ASD struggle with the thought of a whole day stretching out ahead of them with nothing planned and no defined parameters, iyswim. Applying a semi-schedule definitely helps to keep ds calmer.

I think it might be a case of being stricter on the screen-time rules and having to grit your teeth and weather the moaning for a while, while you come up with some ideas for things he'd like to do or places he'd like to go. You might find that once he can separate from constant minecraft he is more able to think about the possibility of doing something else, but there's bound to be a negative reaction at first.

Hfa/aspergers and it gaming or otherwise go hand in hand finding not computer things is difficult take it away they have nothing to do. Leave it to them and they won't leave if its minecrFt he likes making buildings or whatever possibly things like Lego minecraft will give the Xbox a break . If its the gaming side you may have more problems. A video game always works to certain predictable rules . And that appeals to an add mind patterns odds and similar calculations are going on in the mind that are different or absent when dealing with others. Good luck though

got the same thing going on here with my DS almost 12yrs adhd/asd ....it's an awkward time all around really....
stressful year at school, thankful it's finished...the lack of friends is a big problem...anxieties about going out/all a big deal to actually get him out of the house...doesn't cope well with group activities so couldn't sign up for anything with other kids. on the xbox/laptop and dvd's in that order throughout the day.

Managed to head out yesterday but then refused to get out of the car and couldn't face the amount of people (was busy sunny day)...got very anxious and panicky and we ended up driving home again with a short stop at the supermarket (he sat in the car) on the way back home.

I'm planning to get away camping soon so that will be without gaming or laptop and the plan is to just 'be' and walk, cycle and do some fishing, etc...cook on the camp stove and talk about high school, etc...

Barely getting dressed at the moment and I'm feeling like a stressed out caged animal and needing to pay a visit to my GP about my own mental health.....spending alot of time on MN at the moment too!!

4wks to go!!!

Thank you for your replies.
I was sure I can't be the only one with this.
We have the anxieties when going somewhere too and he doesn't like too many people either. Hates sand so beaches are out and I would love a picnic on the beach.
I too feel stuck and frustrated as ASD is so restrictive not just for Ds but all of us.
I hate seeing him anxious so I end up walking on egg shells sometimes.
Thank you for your kind suggestions I am open to any advice or ideas. I will have to do something but I hate having to be so regimented and routine sometimes.

Just read the posts again and got my head round it now. Printing off a timetable will do rough schedule thing for screen times. Going to get him doing key stage 3 bbc stuff which is on computer but at least it's educational!
Whatthe... Hope you are managing you sound a bit worn out and fed up...like me. Your Ds sounds very similar to mine.

Oh God, it's just as bad here! Ds2 is nearly 13 and would spend all day on the PC if allowed. Luckily he has to share it with DS1 and DS3 who are similarly obsessed which naturally restricts it. I have forgiven myself a bit lately. All teenagers spend too long on PC games and, TBH, what else is he going to do? He has no friends (he's happy with this) and no time for outdoors activities or sport. Any healthy activity I force him to do impacts on his brothers because he fusses so much it's no fun. Thank God he's going on holiday with his dad with no Internet for a week soon!

It was much easier to police when he was younger. He used to have 40 mins a day on a school day and 2 hours on a weekend, for years... So those of you with younger DC who still enjoy crafts or Lego or the park, don't be too smug.

Hi flow ...I've been trying to use a timer and make 'deal's' about length of time and taking breaks from xbox/laptop stuff...
it's sort of working, some of the time, and I have to admit that sometimes the battlefield and prospect of war has me a bit defeated at the moment so I'm probably not being rigid enough about things...

Sometimes (more often than is good) I am taking the easy option and avoiding the issue so peace is maintained...

I'm tired and need to re-charge...up hill at the moment though...catch22 isn't it...?!!!

Good luck with your plans...all power to you...we have to keep smiling and looking forward...
I wonder that I sometimes am interfering with my DS's happiness, his peace, his needs...what works best for him...maybe we always have a grieving/bereft feeling because our children are seeming to be missing out on things we want for them...it's the line between what they can manage and what we envisioned for them at different stages of their lives...iyswim...acceptance is always being reviewed and things are mourned in many ways...for them and for ourselves and other members of our families....hard to explain and invisible to anyone else...

Thanks Ellen... Im glad im not on my own and its true most boys at this age love Xbox and pc games but I think as he has ASD I feel bad and I have to try harder to help him with things and I worry more if I am making things worse or better etc it's offer easier to let him be settled because there's not much else he enjoys everything seems to cause him such stress.
I also feel its been such a tough year I need to try and relax a bit too.
Whatthe....Thanks! You have worded that very well perhaps you should be writing a book of blog or something

Much the same here with DS who's coming up to 14. He flits from one screen to another if he's allowed, so we have to limit it very carefully. At the moment it's Skyrim and Halo for Xbox and a Pokemon game on DS that he plays with some younger kids from Karate, but it's overwhelming. He goes onto websites first thing in the morning to look at game plays then all he can think about is the next opportunity to play on a screen.

We have a lot of structure with timetables etc. We home ed so summer holiday break isn't such an issue for us because we keep ticking over - not a full-on schedule but enough to keep him up to date.

At the moment he's limited to an hour of screens a day, but he has to earn that by having his shower in under 30 minutes (otherwise he'd be in there forever and the walls would be rotten with condensation). If he's even 32 mins he doesn't get it - he knows this and responds to it because I've enforced it enough times for him to know I mean it.

If he gets out of bed without prompting at the time he's supposed to he gets an extra 15 mins. If he does anything else during the day that I feel warrants it, he might get some more time at my discretion. Ideally I'd like him to learn how to manage his own usage by recognising when he's getting overloaded and take a break - that's not realistic just now but he's responding well to the 30 minutes thing and rarely misses a day. First steps.

There's not much I can do about seeing friends though, as like so many their interaction is all about gaming. That's teenage boys for you .

Ds doesn't play on it every day (once or twice a week), but when he is he can be on it for hours (6/7).

Is there a Games Workshop near you? It's great for getting a computer games addict out of the house and socialising. They are board based strategy games using little plastic figures, which they need to assemble and paint. It's not a cheap hobby though.

Same problem here-DS,12,Aspergers,would stay playing computer games all day if allowed!This problem intensifies greatly during the holidays of course.I agree with Ellen,it was far easier to restrict him/interest him in other stuff when he was younger!Its become more difficult to enforce time limits etc now that he's older and I must admit,I too,also let things slide a bit sometimes for a quiet life.Overall though,ds sticks to a few hours early in the day(well around 11ish when he rises these days)and thats it then for the day and he sticks to this mostly.I think things are not helped either by his age as hormones are also kicking in etc .Sigh! It is an ongoing battle in our house but this time of year is certainly the worst.

Thanks penny I'm finding it increasingly more difficult. In some ways his Xbox has been a big positive because I can hear him chatting to friends, all about minecraft, but still its nice for him to have this in common. I know he is more intensely interested than the others and it's often his only conversation! I can get him to do some golf as he likes that and has had some lessons but it's only half an hour once per week. I'm hoping he might eventually get more interested in his golf and it would be a healthy interest but nothing will overtake the Xbox.
I also only police his time 50% of the time for an easy life. I did however get him to do some key stage work today. That was on the computer too though! He seems to be liking some of the Olympics too which is good.

Oh thats good Flow about the olympics! Ds has surprisingly expressed an interest in the Fencing at the olympics but I searched and couldnt find any tv schedule for the fencing. Turns out his interest in it is somehow linked to lightsabre duels on a star wars game he is currently fixated on.Nothing is ever as it seems in this house

I can see this is going to be a major problem. DS is just six, but would spend the entire day on the Moshi Monsters website if I let him. Even on holiday last week, he was obsessing over it, asking when we were going home

DS1 is only 8.5 (the half is important to him!) and we limit his screentime to a total of about 3 hours a day maximum, spread over his DSi and computer. He rarely gets time on the XBox or Wii and then only half an hour at once, because it's just so massive and absorbing and there's so much movement in front of his eyes it really makes him hyper (in contrast, his DSi is actually quite calming, so long as he's winning!)

We're lucky that his big obsessions are Mario and Lego. He likes to use Lego Digital Designer on the PC or go window shopping and make huge documents of his findings. We don't mind him going form that to real life lego because if he's handling small bricks, he's not poking holes in walls and he's quite active as he walks around the table building things. he keeps track of his pocket money and saves up for new lego sets (he's saving for some lego technic at the moment) and I think as far as hobbies go for an 8 year old boy it's quite a healthy one and engages his brain on many levels.

He's also turning into quite the music aficionado and will research albums and mock up track listings in word and design or modify cover art. He's getting quite good at popmaster! Sometimes he'll go through his MP3 player, just listening to all the intros, so he's especially good at some of those!

I don't think we'll ever stop our kids from having obsessions but I am glad that he's poly-obsessive and I will strive to encourage him to keep it that way.

Well the key stage revision didn't work at all ended with one very frustrated Ds and parent! Will try again tomorrow though.