What made you suspect aspergers/autism?

[FateLovesTheFearless]

My 7 year old dd is awaiting a referral to be assessed for aspergers/autism. I don't know any other parents with a child that has ASD/aspergers and just wondered if anyone would mind sharing?

I also wondered how long the referral/assessment takes roughly, what the assessment involves and how getting a diagnosis helped? I am pretty clueless.

Thanks for answering, I suppose I have always worried that I have been behind her issues. I had PND with her as a baby and felt I didn't really bond properly with her until about a year. The next few years I found really trying because of her various issues and was a stressy shouty mum. I am much much better than I was back then but it's been difficult.

I have the four now, dd is my firstborn, and can still be that stressy shouty mum too but its not as frequent these days.

When she was about five I used to struggle so much with knowing what to do discipline wise. I used to say to friends or family, it's like she genuinely doesn't understand she has done something wrong. I remember once putting down some talcum powder to try deter ants from an ants nest coming in the house. Dd was on her scooter, she was about four and I told her not to go through the powder as it would flatten it down. She immediately pushed her scooter through it. I pulled her up on it and it was genuine shock on her face, that she had done something wrong, despite knowing what I had said.

Anyways, I don't really think its my fault but I think mothers always tend to blame themselves when it comes to kids.

With DS2 it was the lack of interest in socialising with anyone his age - apart from his brother. He reached all his early milestones, was very cuddly and happy but just not interested in anyone outside the family. He related better to adults than his peers when he started nursery school at 3, and became obsessive about particular activities. He was finally diagnosed with Aspergers at 7. He's very literal, very anxious when he doesn't know what's going to happen next and very clumsy (but with a high pain threshold!) And despite what everyone thinks he'll be like, he's rubbish at maths and he can do great eye contact . Having read all the previous posts it's clear that most of our DCs share some common ground but there are also lots of variations - I guess that's why it's called a spectrum!

I do have to say, dd may be hard work a fair bit of the time, but she is adorable in many ways. I couldn't actually imagine her being any other way.

Thanks to everyone for sharing. I have no doubt i will be back at some stage with the referral or dx if she ends up with one. It's been nice hearing from other people that don't turn around and tell me I am being silly or imagining things, though admittedly that's getting a bit less now she is getting older and the 'she is still just a toddler/preschooler' can't be used anymore.

Both my boys suffer a lot with anxiety.
DS1s is more obvious. He has panic attacks. When he was 4 and very stressed at school he had horrendous panic attacks about the bizzarest things e.g. he couldn't remember the word for drink. Now he just worries about things - when he went into year 2 at school he was worrying about what secondary school he would go to and their uniform....
DS2 worries about change mainly. Very very scared of being alone and the dark.

DD is 7 as well. She is classed as 'profoundly gifted' as well as Aspergers. She has huge anxiety issues, anger management issues and a dislike of most people!
She was also dx selective mute, we suspected this when she was 18 months of age. She's never really liked people in that she wouldn't ever name them, wouldn't read names in books, wouldn't draw people etc.
Socially now she struggles, she can act like a 2 year old one minute, yet be reading a college level book another. She cannot read facial expressions, has limited eye contact, struggles to speak in public etc. She is just very different to her peers and marches to her own beat.