Aspie teen starting National Citizen Service today - need some hand-holding!

[LapsedPacifist]

DS (just 16) went off on a 5 day residential trip this morning with a coachload of other 16/17 year olds. This is the first stage of his 6 week National Citizen Service programme. I am absolutely bricking it on his behalf - and I'm the one who encouraged him to go .

DS was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome 3 years ago. He's just taken his GCSEs and would have been at a complete loose end if we hadn't organised something constructive for him to do this summer - he has no friends, no social life and precious few hobbies apart from computer games and going to the gym or swimming.

I really wanted him to try this scheme out to build up his confidence and self-esteem and get used to talking to girls ()before starting the 6th form (which is co-ed). We've talked a lot about how he needs to try to draw a line under his past school experiences and start his A levels with a happier, more positive attitude. His Asperger's traits have become far less apparent over the last 18 months since going through puberty and he is far less emotional in his reactions.

But his social skills with his peer group are still pretty non-existent. He has been badly bullied at school over the last few years. He finds it very hard to trust other young people, but comes across as funny, articulate, intelligent and very polite bar the odd burst of startling Aspie bluntness when talking adults, who don't usually notice anything different about him at all. He just shrinks and completely withdraws into a shell when interracting with his peers .

I'm just afraid this scheme may take him way too far out of his comfort zone. He hasn't participated in team sports at school for years, has terrible hayfever and white Irish skin which burns in seconds in the sun. And he will be camping and doing outdoor macho shit in the woods (not literally I hope grin]) for the next few days.

Please tell me I'm being daft! The organisers know he has ASD, he is a pretty sensible lad and we've prepared and equipped him as thoroughly as possible. He was still hyperventilating with anxiety when I dropped him off though .

well it certainly sounds well planned and structured, so hopefully he will find that being in the thick of the outdoorsy stuff makes conversation easier. Hope he enjoys the trip.

Really hope he enjoys experience. Am sure he will be fine, won't stop you worrying I know!

Fingers crossed for him! And for you waiting for him to come home. :)

Hi, my DD went on this last year (she has no SNs), but I just wanted to reassure you that he will have the most amazing time, last year there was a real mix of youngsters, some with SN some not, but they all worked together and looked after each other fantasticallly and still meet regularly now.

DD has gone on to train as a mentor for this years intake, will be working with them on the last two weeks of the course. One tip is too encourage your DS to take anything else offered after these three, weeks there are so many oppotunities after the initial three weeks, DD has done so many things with NCS since, and made so many friends. This was a girl who had crippling shyness last year and had to be prised off me when getting on the bus, text me every five minutes for the first day leaving me a bloody wreck, then heard nothing from her for a couple of days as she was so busy, and was having a ball!

Thanks for your replies! DS phoned me this afternoon to say they had arrived OK, but he will be incommunicado for the next few days (no mobiles or other technology) whilst engaged in "emergency setting" primitive camping! He said he didn't puke on the coach this time everything was fine so far and everyone in his group of 10 seems very nice .

Boohoo, your DDs experience last year is very reassuring! I am keeping fingers and everything else crossed that he enjoys himself, because those structured follow-up opportunities you talk about will be incredibly helpful to a lad who finds it difficult to pursue and maintain friendships. I want him to take He is also hoping to follow the AQA Extended Project Baccalaureate programme alongside his AS/A2 studies, and ongoing involvement in community projects is a requirement of the course.

I suppose I'm just very frightened about the long-term implications of this project being a disaster for him. I have stuck my head in the sand about his social difficulties for the past year. Our attempts to encourage him to join clubs and activities etc were stressing him out so badly that we decided to let him be and just concentrate on his GCSEs. But he is a young adult now, not a child, and this is the last ditch saloon - if he really can't cope this time we will have to try (yet again) to find some kind of professional help for him.