HelpIng ds work out how to play with different kids - or am I over thinking?

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

Yesterday we went to the park. Ds made friends with a boy a year older and they had a wonderful time pretending to be star wars characters.
Today we were at the beach and ds was pretending to be a pirate and tried to join a group of boys who were playing with a boat. He called 'yo ho ho me hearties'. They looked at him like he was mad. He said 'let's pretend the boat is a pirate ship and we can be the crew'. They laughed and one boy said 'stop following us'. He then followed them for about five mins trying to join in until the boys tried to tie him up with the boat's rope and I stepped in and we went elsewhere to play.
Yesterday's friend would have loved ds' ideas but these boys clearly just thought he was weird. All his play is imaginative. A climbing frame becomes a space station, seaweed was a dragon's shed skin etc etc
So should I try to teach him how to play without pretending sometimes or am I over thinking and children just find other kids they click with or not?

I think your ds sounds fab, i wouldn't try and change him but maybe just prepare him that some children may not want to play. My dd1 is very similar, she has great ideas but often gets pushed away. Maybe the children were already playing a game and they thought your ds was butting in? Sadly (like adults) not all children are kind and friendly .

I think we could work on when to walk away. I said today that some children play kindly and some don't and he needs to find someone else to play with if someone is unkind.

Its hard isn't it? dd1 struggles when people dont want to play her games, she used to get very upset but can now walk away (without making too much fuss) although it still really upsets her. I often see kids ignore her or turn there back on her

He has come on massively this year in that he can take on other children's ideas and is happy to be lesser roles (so no longer demands to be Luke skywalker all the time) but is only really happy with pretend play. It's my fault (or to my credit, I guess, if you put a lot of value on imagination) as I prefer that kind of play and did loads of it with both dc when they were little.

Not your fault at all, kids should be kids for as long as possible, kids grow up far to fast these days. I'm sure my dd1 would be happy to play your ds's games, she loves using imagination. How old is your ds?

He is 6. Luckily dd loves his games too

Oh he has aspergers btw forgot to put in op

My dd1 is 8 with Aspergers , she has always had a fab imagination (when she was 5 she had an imaginary pony called peadro in the garden which i had to feed every morning and an imaginary friend called Marv who we had to take everywhere with us. I think a good imagination shows how intelligent he is , the kids that are pushing him away are clearly not as intelligent.

that's a good way to look at it, shall remember that

I think as others have said it's more a case of teaching him, as you did, that not all children are nice and friendly and not all children want to play nicely. Also teaching him some strategies for knowing when to walk away and what are negative signals or signs that others aren't open to being approached.

Not easy I know, ds1 really cannot tell when someone doesn't want to know, even if they tell him to his face and then physically turn their backs on him. I had to rescue one of his classmates last week, because he was desperately turning round and round in circles peering intently into his schoolbag to avoid looking at ds, while ds followed him, invading his personal space whilst monologuing incessantly about Pokemon. Ds has chatted with this boy about Pokemon before, so now thinks he can do it every time he sees him. I have never seen a child look as grateful as that boy when I steered ds away.

Fwiw, both my boys ds1 (10, AS) and ds2 (8 NT) would love to play Star Wars with your ds and neither would want to be Luke Skywalker either. (I think they are usually Jango Fett and Obi Wan )

I agree with Marne, it foes to show how much more intelligent he is than the rude boys he encountered at the beach.