Horrible comments from SIL - need to get this off my chest.

[Shagmundfreud]

She's a teacher in secondary who works one to one and with small groups of children (many of whom have sn) who need extra support in literacy. She's a highly experienced teacher.

She was talking about one of the children she supported who has learning difficulties. Described her as 'vile' and 'disgusting'. Not because of her behavior but because this girl is overweight and dirty. Referred to this girl and to others that she's worked with as 'dead thick' and 'stupid'.

She was talking about not having had ANY training in SN, bar what she had on her PGCE (ie nothing - I trained with her and can't remember having any SN input at all).

I'm cross with myself that I sat there and squirmed and looked at my shoes while she said this, and didn't comment.

I feel like a dick for not saying anything, especially since yesterday I sent a long letter to the HT of ds's school setting out my complaint about his TA, who has shown her dislike of him to the point that I think it's damaged his self-esteem and made learning difficult for him.

It's made me think about how many people are out there in schools working with children with SN, who have absolutely no understanding and no compassion for them or their families. I'd put SIL in this category. Why isn't decent SN training obligatory for anyone working in schools?

You know it's not acceptable by my sister is kindegarden teacher in another country and always talks horribly at the end of year, yet she loves the kids and is good at her job- maybe tiredness or something. But still it would upset me and understand you feel ambigous about not speaking out...

Sadly many of us here woukd no longer be surprised. We've come across people like your SIL and there's not a lot we can do to defend our children because we are mere parents whilst they are the 'professionals'.

But there ARE good people, and there ARE good schools. Keep searching.

My SIL is also a good teacher in many ways. She gets kids through exams. She has excellent classroom management skills.

She doesn't love these children though. She gives every appearance of hating them.

Dont feel bad about not saying anything. :)

I would next time she makes you feel uncomfortable just plain speak out and say so. Tell her whilst its great to chat or spend time with her could she please stop running SN children down infront of you.

Or buy her some books to read.

My sister is wonderful and doubly wonderful with children but has volounteered in helping parents with parenting skills. She has never ever run any parent or child down I must say but I have bit my tongue several times due to thinking that because this is new she is excited and wanting to do good by everyone and stick to the rules of her training. HOWEVER I had after a few weeks told her please LOOK past the parents through to the children because sometimes it just aint old bad parenting. Fortunately I am close to her and she took it in good faith and went with it :)