Should I push or dx or just accept what they're saying?

[Scottishdancer]

Just got back from paed where's she said Ds4(9) doesn't have Asd. I am not convinced. Had ados test in Jan when they said eye contact was ok that he understood jokes and could make up stories so all fine! Every school report and IEP meeting school tell me he has very poor eye contact, poor social skills (he is till on P scales for this) finds it hard to understand others feelings, and takes things too literally. He has dyspraxia and sensory processing problems. He lines all his toys up on the settee and nobody is allowed to touch them, and has to follow a strict routine. Whilst talking to the paed he avoided all eye contact with her, but she excused all this saying he has OCD and separation issues! Ds1 and Ds3 have ADHD and Ds2 has Aspergers which wasnt diagnosed until he was 20. What should I do? Just accept I am being over anxious or push for a second opinion?

Will you be happy NOT getting a 2nd opinion?

I don't think you can or should 'push' for a Dx tbh, but if you feel the picture isn't currently accurate I would certainly 'push' for further assessments.

Dyspraxia + sensory processing disorder "looky likey" ASD to to the inexpert eye. Does he have formal diagnoses for these?

If not then yes go with your gut and push for 2nd opinion. I did and it took 4 years in total but DS finally got asd diagnosis v. recently and it HAS affected general opinions from random TA's etc so that they are now much kinder to him iykwim. I have a kid who desperately wants to do the right thing, but is often as successful at it as Gordon Brittas

If you already live with an aspie you "know" at gut level what the reality of the condition is better than someone who may only ever see it in an artificial clinical environment. Is the pead qualified to adminsister ados and does the pead have specific neurodevelopmental expertise? If not then all the more reason for a 2nd opinion.

Bochead yes he does have diagnosis of dyspraxia and significant sensory processing disorder, also speech and lang problems and dyslexia. Have re read information on dyspraxia and could be just that, but what about stimming and poor eye contact? Don't want him to have Asd but don't want him to suffer like older son did. Also is still on level 1 for literacy and going into year 5 so not sure if he will manage in ms secondary . Want to make the right choice for him and just want to be sure dx is accurate .

Yes I would say trust your instincts and get a 2nd opinion for sure - if nothing else for your own peace of mind. My 5 year old who will be in in year2 (england system) has ADHD and dyspraxia and has scored on all the areas of the ADOS but not enough to get a dx but does all the same things as your son, still can't think of orginal names for toys (calls his soft toys either his own name or his brothers) and line them up, is friendly with adults but doesn't have a clue how to interact with his peers and is also on the p scales with speech sound and clarity issues. We are also waiting for the results of a blood test for Williams Syndrome. But if its not that then I will approach The Maudsley or Lorna Wing just to make sure I haven't missed anything. x

Just to add school say the same re eye contact ect but Camhs say different.