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God am I letting my son down is he just a slow learner or is there something wrong like dyslexia I just do not know what to do feel so alone...

24 replies

NotInTheMood · 20/07/2012 10:12

He was diagnosed with speech and language delay in reception. Struggles with reading, writing and even maths sometimes. He is in year 2 and scored 1 for all English, 2c for maths and 1 for science.
His reading is painful he will have good and bad days.His handwriting is big poor and he still writes things back to front sometimes. He is extremely forgetful and disorganised. When in reception he could not rhyme, sequence etc. He has not sense of time, Struggles with his tie, shoe laces etc.

He had SALT for 6mths after diagnoses then she signed him off. i was told his speech delay was affecting his prenounciation hence he could not say the phonic sounds and hear them. I feel his speech has come on lots his language is sometimes wrong but the clarity is clear. He sometime misses of initial letters saying 'cause' instead of because but that's just lazy speech??? I thought that the speech therapist would do a review at some point but this has not been the case. She just left me with some exercises to do this was well over a year ago.

When reading he will say letters that's are not there sometimes. He has to break everything down to read. Sometimes he guesses. He is on an IEP. He is receiving extra help with phonics in small groups and reading but no 1 to 1. All his teachers say he puts in so much effort and tries so hard. The classroom assistant is sat near him in the class to support him and others etc this will be the case in year 3. But they will only have an assistant in the am not pm. He will still receive extra support but in year 3 the amount goes down. I am extremely concerned. I have seen improvement but this is very slight and inconsistent.

If he is having lots of support, trying really hard and still well below average then what is it!! His teacher says there is no signs of a learning disability and that I now have to think of him just starting to read. She thinks he now has clicked. I just do not know what to believe who to trust who I can ask??

To me he seems like he has a processing disorder but this has never been said by SALT. In fact she was useless and did not explain very much I had to google it all!!!

What should I be doing and who should I be asking?? he is 8 in October. Is it possible he is just a late reader???

OP posts:
NotInTheMood · 20/07/2012 10:17

Oh and my other son is academic but is struggling socially so really feel down with it all. As bad as it sounds I just think why can't my kids just be normal-what have I done or not done to support them. Just had enough now.

OP posts:
NotInTheMood · 20/07/2012 13:39

Anyone got any advice I am desperate??

OP posts:
Ineedalife · 20/07/2012 14:12

Have you been and spoken to the SENCO at the school, I would guess you have if he has an IEP.

Are his targets SMART, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time bound.

His IEP should be reviewed regularly and the targets should be changed in order to support his learning.

Teachers hardly get any training in Special Needs and anyway it is not the teachers job to say whether your DS has learning difficulties or not. something is obviously going on or he wouldnt be struggling so much.

returnvisit · 20/07/2012 18:55

I would get a referral To a paediatrician via your gp & get him properly assessed. Maybe get him back on speech therapy. Don't be fobbed off.,

IndigoBell · 20/07/2012 19:17

Sounds a lot like dyslexia.

Niceweather · 20/07/2012 20:12

Yes, sounds like it could be dyslexia. I would start doing some research on it. Do you have a local dyslexia association? Ours do a cheap computer screening test. There are lots of books and forums out there to check out.

mommapiggy · 20/07/2012 21:45

Do not rely on the teachers assessment. He needs to be seen by a peadatrician which you will have to ask your GP to refer him to. Also the school should have asked for some input from the educational physcologist for an assessment, never totally sure how you get seen by them - DD1 was assessed at the request of the school DD2 by the paed.
Does sound like some form of learning difficulty, but equally one that with the right support and input then it would be helped alot more.
Both my DDs have learning disabilities so I know exactly how you feel when you feel like you do, thats the cruel thing - when your feeling so low is also the time when you have to find the energy to tackle the matter and start getting some very slow wheels in moion to get them the correct support they need. Theres a whole range of things that could be causing this, and most things are on spectrums anyway - so try not to self analyse what is wrong as often never that easy - just stick with your gut feelings and push to get to the bottom of it all. good luck x

NotInTheMood · 20/07/2012 22:49

Thank you for the replies I was beginning to feel completely alone. I have never spoken to the SENCO. The class teacher arranges the IEP meeting and tells me the targets they have set and what I should be doing at home with him. I have mentioned dyslexia and have been told they will not test until year 3 so we shall see. He starts year 3 in September. I just want to know what I am dealing with. It seems to be a case of he still needs to learn like everyone else regardless and he is getting a lot of support in class that was the teachers attitude.The thing is do I get him tested privately or have his eyes checked for tracking or do I persue with school.

Are there any good tips for teaching a dyslexic child?? I want to help him over these next 6 wks.

OP posts:
NotInTheMood · 20/07/2012 22:52

Yes would say they are SMART but I am only taking the teachers word that they he is meeting them. The last IEP she has continued those targets and moved him onto a green reading book to challenge him.The progress is so slow and if he is putting in all this effort and getting support why is he still underachieving there is obviously something or does it come down to academia??

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 21/07/2012 08:00

Paedetricians are not interested in children with dyslexia.

EPs are. But don't hold your breath for an EP report actually helping at all.

There is loads and loads you can do.

Do you want me to recommend something that will help his reading? Or his spelling?

Or do you want me to recommend things to look at things which might be causing his dyslexia?

NotInTheMood · 21/07/2012 17:12

Could I say both Indigo?? I was thinking of paying privately for an EP but then I read something on here about tracking and getting tinted glasses so who do I go to?? The thing is the school send home alot of homework on top of his phonic work and key words etc. I want to find method of teaching him at home that works for dyslexics as I feel like I having to teach basic things to him as the class are too busy jumping ahead onto other things. If he can not learn the basics how is he supposed to progress in class

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 21/07/2012 17:48

Reading:

Dancing Bears
Sound Reading

Spelling:

Apples and Pears

Eye Tracking:

Eye Tracking

Tinted Glasses:

Don't.

Then it gets more complicated.....

You also need to look at:

Neurodevelopment therapies ( Tinsley House, Sound Learning Centre, INPP, Hemispheres, Dore.....)

Auditory stuff ( Auditory Integration Training, Listening program, tomatis, therapeutic listening, Johanson method, Earobics ....)

Diet ( Gluten free, dairy free, extra glucose....)

Supplements ( Omega 3, Zinc, Magnesium, B6, B12....)

More Advice...

Badvoc · 21/07/2012 17:56

I paid for a private EP report....don't waste your money like I did :(
My son is (or rather was) severely dyslexic and I was feeling like you this time last year.
Check out the tinsley house support thread.
That's the best advice I can give you.
Whatever you decode, good luck to you x

overtherooftops · 21/07/2012 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndigoBell · 21/07/2012 18:12

I said no to tinted glasses, because I think the problem is normally convergence insufficiency, and not irlen syndrome.

My DD was tested for tinted overlays 3 times, and came up with 3 different colours.

And all of them were wrong. The problem was convergence insufficiency and eye tracking not irlens.

overtherooftops · 21/07/2012 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndigoBell · 21/07/2012 18:53

Yes, convergence insuffuciency effects spatial awareness and distance judgement. It's about your eyes not working together properly.

AFAIK all they did with DD was put lots of coloured overlays down and ask which one helped the most.

I think irlen syndrome does exist, but that CI is far, far more common. And you should def fix eye tracking and CI problems before investigating irlen syndrome.

sazale · 21/07/2012 18:55

OP and overtherooftops, my 5 year old sounds very similar and I'm trying to get school to not take the wait and see approach. It's more than just it's taking longer to click, it's the way he's doing things that is concerning me. Nhs just got his EYFS and for reading/numeracy he only scored 4 so hopefully now they may pay more attention. I'm planning on seeing a behavioural optometrist over the holidays,

sazale · 21/07/2012 18:56

He just got his eyfs not the nhs!

Badvoc · 22/07/2012 09:18

sazale I was in the same position as you when my son was 5 and on the EYFS.

On the one hand his teacher told me he was "concerned" and that ds1 was "struggling" but on the other they were simply not prepared to do anything to help him. Thats when I first came on MN sen section and it has been my lifeline ever since :)

When I asked for him to be assessed they actually laughed at me and told me that "assessments are not done until 7 at the earliest".

Most schools have this attitude IME.

So. I waited til he was 7.

I deeply regret it.

He is now at a new school - a better school - and he is finally getting the help he needs because since March last year he has done a course of AIT, RRT and now - TH.

I have wondered if we should have gone straight to TH but in my sons case I think he needed to the do the AIT and RRT first.

Good luck x

sazale · 22/07/2012 11:11

Thanks Badvoc. I'm in a similar position with the regret game, unfortunately. I have a dd13 who went through the same school saying she had no difficulties. Her behaviour at home was challenging but at school they said no probs. she didn't have probs academically, quite the opposite, but had to be reminded to be kept on task. Roll on 2 school years since leaving said primary and she has been diagnosed with ASD, PDA traits, ADHD traits, gross and fine motor skill difficulties, hypermobility, low muscle tone, SPD, auditory dyslexia and is waiting on audiology apt as has failed 3 hearing tests! We have just had a proposed statement for low incidence needs with full support. Both SS and mainstream say unable to properly support her needs so now we are looking at Independent provision. I won't make the same mistake by listening to them a second time!!

I was hoping as now have a new Head and SENCO that things would be better. It is also the best the school in the area! I get paranoid that it's me being paranoid because of my Dd's needs but it just doesn't feel right, like it didn't my daughter but no one would listen. My DS is also struggling with writing due to extreme hypermobility in his hands and has social anxiety. School seems to be so hard for him.

Badvoc · 22/07/2012 15:06

I am really sorry to hear about your Dds difficulties. I am sorry to say its something you hear a lot on MN SN section though :(
Do check out the Tinsley House support thread and check out the book "is that my child?" by robin pauc.
It might help you both
X

cpmk · 23/07/2012 12:29

Hi this is my first time on site. I feel for you. I live in Northern Ireland and we get the parents magazine through school. Need you to look this up the summer one . There is an article by a psycologist on educating parents on right brain verses left brain on children with sen and howto balance this so the child is helped. One example is when a child is reading get a piece of paper draw lines of colour eg. pink, blue, purple, green whatever colours and put this under each line your child is reading. He will pick up the colour he associates with using his left and right brain and this helps him read better, of course he needs to take deep breaths to calm him first. Hope this is of help but read the article it is very interesting ok.

cpmk · 23/07/2012 12:35

Also remember only you can fight for the rights of your child. You can ask the board for a statutory assessment doesnt have to be school. You know your child best even if educators tell you your child would never get a statement fight on to support your child. I did this and got what I wanted finally but it can be a battle.

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